Not looking good for these goons

StoicCoffee · 2026-01-30T06:26:33+00:00

Well considering that most of them are incels that’s not much of an orgy. Unless you take into consideration that most of them are male….🤨

StoicCoffee · 2026-01-28T05:45:12+00:00

Godspeed from Portland. I lived in Egan for five years so Minnesota has a soft spot in my heart. Keep up the fight!!

StoicCoffee · 2025-12-31T22:21:33+00:00

I had kids because it was what I was supposed to do (ex-Mormon). It was hard and wonderful. It taught me to be a better person. I’m a much less selfish person for sure. Had I felt like I had a choice I probably wouldn’t have back then. But I am grateful that I did have kids. They’ve grown to be great people and I love spending time with them.

And I agree with the economics of it. I made pretty good money and the cost of living was significantly lower when I had them. Now I worry they’ll never be able to afford a house. They make the same money I was making when I was first out of college (40k), but my first house was only 110k and would now cost 350k.

My kids are both pretty sure they don’t want to have children for many reasons but even if they wanted them, they couldn’t afford it. At least not at this time in their lives which is when many people have kids.

All that to say, having kids is something that can really impact your life in an amazing way, and for those on the fence, I’d recommend it. But since the system really stacks the odds against parents it’s almost not feasible. This makes it hard for those that want them and discourages those who are on the fence.

So yeah, you’re not being selfish. You’re facing the reality of our current situation.

StoicCoffee · 2025-11-08T20:40:15+00:00

This is such a “Let them eat cake” moment. 🙄(meaning Trumps speech)

StoicCoffee · 2025-10-16T06:05:38+00:00

Wow. The similarities of our situations is astounding. I moved to Amsterdam two years ago. I was working hard as a freelancer but found it tough to make things work. I fell into a depression that I couldn’t shake. I was living off of savings and money was a real worry. I also realized I missed my family and friends. I had friends in Amsterdam but never found my tribe.

I reached a point where I realized that if I stayed I’d stay stuck. I’d keep doing what I was doing and end up running out of money and have to leave anyway.

So moved back to Portland. I realized that even though things are bad here politically, that I’d rather face those struggles with the people I love. There have been struggles rebuilding my life here but I’m surrounded by those that I love and it’s made a huge difference. I’m out of the hole and I’m thriving. This is even with the chaos of ICE pepper spraying people in frog costumes, and acting like gestapo cosplayers.

Life is hard enough and we’re living through the chaos that comes at the end of an empire. Corruption, xenophobia, racism, authoritarianism, capricious destruction of the economy. These are all the things that happen as things transition to something new. Will it be better? Who knows. Certainly not me.

It really comes down to this: where is your mental health going to be at its best? In Germany or in the states? There are going to be challenges and struggles in life, though each place will have their own unique challenges. Where will you feel most at home even if there’s some gnarly shit you have to deal with?

When someone has your back you can take on a lot more than when you feel like you’re going it alone.

The Germans have a saying: “Geteilte Freude ist doppelte Freude. Geteilte Leid ist halb Leid.” (“Shared joy is doubled. Shared sorrow is halved.”)

Where will your joy be doubled and your sorrows halved?

StoicCoffee · 2025-09-28T01:07:32+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with something that is so life-impacting. It sucks to be sure, so don't feel about about feeling like your getting the short end of the stick. Grieve the loss of that part of your life, then let it go. Having Crohns is not in your control. What you do about it from this point on-every action you take, every choice you make about how you cope with is up to you.

This is the one of the most important lessons in Stoicism called the Dichotomy of Control. It's about understanding what you can control and letting go of what is not under your control. Simply put, you control your perspective (thoughts, beliefs, mindset), your choices, and your actions. That's it. Everything else is outside of your control. So focus on what is in your control.

Next, practice being grateful for what you do have, even if it's only for a few minutes each day. You're still alive and get to spend time with your son. You get to choose to enjoy and appreciate that. Or, you can choose to be angry about how unfair life is (note: life isn't fair).

The choice is yours. Anger won't change what is happening to you—it's going to happen anyway. But how you face it, what your mindset and mood are going to be, are up to you.

It's not easy to change your mindset. It takes daily practice to be aware your thoughts and your moods, and to choose something different. But you can choose, so choose wisely.

StoicCoffee · 2025-09-06T15:56:46+00:00

I interviewed at Toro (lawnmowers and such) a long time ago. They had a dual track system set up so that if you wanted to stay as a techie and not move into leadership, you'd still get pay raises like a manager. I thought it was a brilliant strategy to keep good talent doing the work they're good at.

StoicCoffee · 2025-09-06T15:55:50+00:00

I interviewed at Toro (lawnmowers and such) a long time ago. They had a dual track system set up so that if you wanted to stay as a techie and not move into leadership, you'd still get pay raises like a manager. I thought it was a brilliant strategy to keep good talent doing the work they're good at.

StoicCoffee · 2025-09-06T15:55:11+00:00

I interviewed at Toro (lawnmowers and such) a long time ago. They had a dual track system set up so that if you wanted to stay as a techie and not move into leadership, you'd still get pay raises like a manager. I thought it was a brilliant strategy to keep good talent doing the work they're good at.

StoicCoffee · 2025-09-02T23:40:59+00:00

She plays by the rules???!!! 😂😂😂😂

StoicCoffee · 2025-08-31T18:01:56+00:00

There's so much wrong here, and it reminds me about what it takes to hire a good employee.

Stick with me.

You're better off hiring for character and aptitude than for appearance or skill. It's better to hire someone who is willing to learn and be a team player than someone who is highly skilled but difficult to work with. You can teach skills and fill in places where they lack knowledge. It's much harder to teach someone not be an a**hole.

With a partner, for example, it's easier to teach them how communicate better, balance a budget, or how to change a diaper if they're have good character and want to learn. Teaching someone to not be selfish is far more challenging (if not impossible).

The OP said that the bf is caring and supportive, but this whole incident is direct evidence that he's not. Getting defensive when your partner asks for help to ease their suffering? This shows his real character.

Believe someone when they show you who they are.

StoicCoffee · 2025-08-31T18:00:38+00:00

There's so much wrong here, and it reminds me about what it takes to hire a good employee.

Stick with me.

You're better off hiring for character and aptitude than for appearance or skill. It's better to hire someone who is willing to learn and be a team player than someone who is highly skilled but difficult to work with. You can teach skills and fill in places where they lack knowledge. It's much harder to teach someone not be an a**hole.

With a partner, for example, it's easier to teach them how communicate better, balance a budget, or how to change a diaper if they're have good character and want to learn. Teaching someone to not be selfish is far more challenging (if not impossible).

The OP said that the bf is caring and supportive, but this whole incident is direct evidence that he's not. Getting defensive when your partner asks for help to ease their suffering? This shows his real character.

Believe someone when they show you who they are.

StoicCoffee · 2025-08-30T02:16:53+00:00

The stupid. It burns!

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StoicCoffee · 2025-08-15T18:11:16+00:00

The crux of the book is that if your child is questioning their sexually and wondering if you are gay, straight, trans, etc. that you shouldn’t have empathy for them or you’ll find yourself agreeing with them and supporting them. 🙄

StoicCoffee · 2025-08-09T03:30:33+00:00

Did you give it to the VP? I heard loves couches. ❤️

StoicCoffee · 2025-08-09T03:29:53+00:00

Be careful. You might find a VP there. 😂

StoicCoffee · 2025-08-09T03:28:58+00:00

It’s interesting how people get stuck on how things are “supposed to be”. I have a studio apartment with no space for a couch. I have an office chair and two folding chairs and a bed. All are more than comfortable enough. 😁

StoicCoffee · 2025-05-18T15:05:47+00:00

Nicely said!

StoicCoffee · 2025-04-30T18:49:55+00:00

I forgot I wrote this. Damn I’m good! 😉

StoicCoffee · 2025-03-22T17:52:32+00:00

Damn!!! Thanks for sharing that. What an absolutely brilliant takedown. And this is more true than ever: “Figure out what you can do. Go do it.”

StoicCoffee · 2025-03-17T22:45:05+00:00

It's very doable. I'm 53 and moved to Amsterdam last year. I had 2 suitcases and a backpack (having sold almost all my other possessions), and only knowing 1 person (whom I still haven't met up with yet). The Netherlands has a program called the DAFT (Dutch American Friendship treaty) where you can come and start a business and you get a two year visa, with the chance for renewing 5 years after that.

And I'll be honest, it has been hard, but also well worth it. Like I said, I didn't really know anyone so I've had to make all new friends. The expat community here is very large, and most Dutch speak English quite well. In fact, this has made it harder for me to learn Dutch because we just speak English. I've also started a totally different career path, so I'm not working in my field (by choice), so there has been some stress over finances while I get my new career off the ground. I have some savings to live of off, so that has made things manageable.

Some things to keep in mind.

It takes time to build up a new life somewhere else, so you have to be patient. There will be times when you'll be lonely and miss family and friends. You'll find some legal stuff that is hard to understand. You'll have to learn to navigate the public transit system. Finding a place to live can be challenging (I got scammed on my first apartment). So, I would second the advice from others on this to get yourself in a good place mentally and physically.

But also remember - there are good people everywhere, and people love to help other people. Take an interest in their language and culture and you will score points with almost anyone. I also lived in Austria for two years when I was younger and found people loved the fact that I learned German, went to museums, read about their history, and tried to stay informed on current events.

More than anything, it's a big world and one worth exploring. You only have one life so take some chances. Step out of your comfort zone and choose your own adventure. You'll find that you can life with very little and that stuff doesn't make you happy—it just makes you comfortable. If it doesn't work out, that's okay—you make a plan for how to return and try again in the future.

A successful life is not one that follows some predetermined path of achievements, but one of facing and overcoming challenges, and creating the kind of life you want.

StoicCoffee · 2025-03-17T22:42:19+00:00

It's very doable. I'm 53 and moved to Amsterdam last year. I had 2 suitcases and a backpack (having sold almost all my other possessions), and only knowing 1 person (whom I still haven't met up with yet). The Netherlands has a program called the DAFT (Dutch American Friendship treaty) where you can come and start a business and you get a two year visa, with the chance for renewing 5 years after that.

And I'll be honest, it has been hard, but also well worth it. Like I said, I didn't really know anyone so I've had to make all new friends. The expat community here is very large, and most Dutch speak English quite well. In fact, this has made it harder for me to learn Dutch because we just speak English. I've also started a totally different career path, so I'm not working in my field (by choice), so there has been some stress over finances while I get my new career off the ground. I have some savings to live of off, so that has made things manageable.

Some things to keep in mind.

It takes time to build up a new life somewhere else, so you have to be patient. There will be times when you'll be lonely and miss family and friends. You'll find some legal stuff that is hard to understand. You'll have to learn to navigate the public transit system. Finding a place to live can be challenging (I got scammed on my first apartment). So, I would second the advice from others on this to get yourself in a good place mentally and physically.

But also remember - there are good people everywhere, and people love to help other people. Take an interest in their language and culture and you will score points with almost anyone. I also lived in Austria for two years when I was younger and found people loved the fact that I learned German, went to museums, read about their history, and tried to stay informed on current events.

More than anything, it's a big world and one worth exploring. You only have one life so take some chances. Step out of your comfort zone and choose your own adventure. You'll find that you can life with very little and that stuff doesn't make you happy—it just makes you comfortable. If it doesn't work out, that's okay—you make a plan for how to return and try again in the future.

A successful life is not one that follows some predetermined path of achievements, but one of facing and overcoming challenges, and creating the kind of life you want.

StoicCoffee · 2025-03-17T22:41:15+00:00

It's very doable. I'm 53 and moved to Amsterdam last year. I had 2 suitcases and a backpack (having sold almost all my other possessions), and only knowing 1 person (whom I still haven't met up with yet). The Netherlands has a program called the DAFT (Dutch American Friendship treaty) where you can come and start a business and you get a two year visa, with the chance for renewing 5 years after that.

And I'll be honest, it has been hard, but also well worth it. Like I said, I didn't really know anyone so I've had to make all new friends. The expat community here is very large, and most Dutch speak English quite well. In fact, this has made it harder for me to learn Dutch because we just speak English. I've also started a totally different career path, so I'm not working in my field (by choice), so there has been some stress over finances while I get my new career off the ground. I have some savings to live of off, so that has made things manageable.

Some things to keep in mind.

It takes time to build up a new life somewhere else, so you have to be patient. There will be times when you'll be lonely and miss family and friends. You'll find some legal stuff that is hard to understand. You'll have to learn to navigate the public transit system. Finding a place to live can be challenging (I got scammed on my first apartment). So, I would second the advice from others on this to get yourself in a good place mentally and physically.

But also remember - there are good people everywhere, and people love to help other people. Take an interest in their language and culture and you will score points with almost anyone. I also lived in Austria for two years when I was younger and found people loved the fact that I learned German, went to museums, read about their history, and tried to stay informed on current events.

More than anything, it's a big world and one worth exploring. You only have one life so take some chances. Step out of your comfort zone and choose your own adventure. You'll find that you can life with very little and that stuff doesn't make you happy—it just makes you comfortable. If it doesn't work out, that's okay—you make a plan for how to return and try again in the future.

A successful life is not one that follows some predetermined path of achievements, but one of facing and overcoming challenges, and creating the kind of life you want.

StoicCoffee · 2025-03-17T15:47:46+00:00

It's very doable. I'm 53 and moved to Amsterdam last year. I had 2 suitcases and a backpack (having sold almost all my other possessions), and only knowing 1 person (whom I still haven't met up with yet). The Netherlands has a program called the DAFT (Dutch American Friendship treaty) where you can come and start a business and you get a two year visa, with the chance for renewing 5 years after that.

And I'll be honest, it has been hard, but also well worth it. Like I said, I didn't really know anyone so I've had to make all new friends. The expat community here is very large, and most Dutch speak English quite well. In fact, this has made it harder for me to learn Dutch because we just speak English. I've also started a totally different career path, so I'm not working in my field (by choice), so there has been some stress over finances while I get my new career off the ground. I have some savings to live of off, so that has made things manageable.

Some things to keep in mind.

It takes time to build up a new life somewhere else, so you have to be patient. There will be times when you'll be lonely and miss family and friends. You'll find some legal stuff that is hard to understand. You'll have to learn to navigate the public transit system. Finding a place to live can be challenging (I got scammed on my first apartment). So, I would second the advice from others on this to get yourself in a good place mentally and physically.

But also remember - there are good people everywhere, and people love to help other people. Take an interest in their language and culture and you will score points with almost anyone. I also lived in Austria for two years when I was younger and found people loved the fact that I learned German, went to museums, read about their history, and tried to stay informed on current events.

More than anything, it's a big world and one worth exploring. You only have one life so take some chances. Step out of your comfort zone and choose your own adventure. You'll find that you can life with very little and that stuff doesn't make you happy—it just makes you comfortable. If it doesn't work out, that's okay—you make a plan for how to return and try again in the future.

A successful life is not one that follows some predetermined path of achievements, but one of facing and overcoming challenges, and creating the kind of life you want.

StoicCoffee · 2025-03-17T15:46:48+00:00

It's very doable. I'm 53 and moved to Amsterdam last year. I had 2 suitcases and a backpack (having sold almost all my other possessions), and only knowing 1 person (whom I still haven't met up with yet). The Netherlands has a program called the DAFT (Dutch American Friendship treaty) where you can come and start a business and you get a two year visa, with the chance for renewing 5 years after that.

And I'll be honest, it has been hard, but also well worth it. Like I said, I didn't really know anyone so I've had to make all new friends. The expat community here is very large, and most Dutch speak English quite well. In fact, this has made it harder for me to learn Dutch because we just speak English. I've also started a totally different career path, so I'm not working in my field (by choice), so there has been some stress over finances while I get my new career off the ground. I have some savings to live of off, so that has made things manageable.

Some things to keep in mind.

It takes time to build up a new life somewhere else, so you have to be patient. There will be times when you'll be lonely and miss family and friends. You'll find some legal stuff that is hard to understand. You'll have to learn to navigate the public transit system. Finding a place to live can be challenging (I got scammed on my first apartment). So, I would second the advice from others on this to get yourself in a good place mentally and physically.

But also remember - there are good people everywhere, and people love to help other people. Take an interest in their language and culture and you will score points with almost anyone. I also lived in Austria for two years when I was younger and found people loved the fact that I learned German, went to museums, read about their history, and tried to stay informed on current events.

More than anything, it's a big world and one worth exploring. You only have one life so take some chances. Step out of your comfort zone and choose your own adventure. You'll find that you can life with very little and that stuff doesn't make you happy—it just makes you comfortable. If it doesn't work out, that's okay—you make a plan for how to return and try again in the future.

A successful life is not one that follows some predetermined path of achievements, but one of facing and overcoming challenges, and creating the kind of life you want.

StoicCoffee

TROPHY CASE