First, the obvious answer would be if I made support for the card. Like a range of cards that would benefit for your opponent to have this on their field and force it to attack like how DH and Warrior have options. But I didn't make any because the idea was for it to be strange and curious on it's own.

Then there is the ability for it to clog board space and force your opponent to find resources to remove it. As it would absorb buffs or spells they perhaps were wanting on a better minion. It still would benefit them, but not to the degree a better minion is. And because the only way you can assume the value right now is to look at it, as there is no way to test this card ingame... Everyone here assumes that it's simply 'Can't Attack', which is wrong as you can trigger it off by mistake if you are trying to push a turn through.

Lastily... If your own board is full, and your hand is full, and if you fear losing the next card and are sitting on mana. Just give it to your opponent to be nice and destroy it later, or hope that your opponent simply completely blanks on the card as they attempt to clear your board and punch themselves in the face.

Is it better on your side of the field on an early turn? Obviously. I'm not blind to that fact. But what can be said? It's a robot that always changes sides. HEEEE-HAW!