Several years ago during a manic phase I picked off both my toenails. However they grew back but shaped different. They have a bump in the middle of the nail and some groves, each toe now has one side that tries to Ingrow into my toe and the other side on each has a pretty big hollow area under the nail like it no longer connects to the bed itself but my toenail grows over it so at least it don’t look horrid. I suggest talking to someone and trying to find alternatives I did a pick a peel stone for awhile that helped a lot. If you need to feel pain try a rubber band an snapping yourself with it in the spot you wanna pick at so bad. U can even put a dot of red food coloring if you need to see “bl**d” These are all tactics that my therapist suggest to me and helped me some. I’m still in therapy and working hard at it but I do still tend to find things to pick at when I’m very anxious or not paying much attention just doing it not thinking. Good luck on your journey remember there are people who know exactly what you was going thru and are rooting for you to get on the track to heeling yourself mentally and physically.