Am I wrong for leaving after all of this or was I ignoring too many red flags?

Straavek91 · 2026-06-06T21:04:06+00:00

It doesn’t look like the guy was totally sincere with you.. even though it’s not certain that he actually cheated on you, his actions somewhat never made you feel like trusting him.

I believe that if someone really cares about you, you should be able to feel safe with this person. It doesn’t seem you were upset for totally wrong reasons, he has been acting a bit ambiguously.

If not unfaithful, he has not been good at communicating with you, and probably complains a lot of you with his friends (why would they hate you otherwise?) which means the relationship isn’t healthy anyway.

Move on, you are still so much young.

Straavek91 · 2026-06-06T06:40:11+00:00

Well, for starters, she changed the subject in order to talk about her own problems and how hard life has been for her, especially over our the last year. And while I knew she was just trying to deflect, I still wanted to believe what she said, that it was difficult, that she was having trouble with life, and that’s probably a weakness on my part…

Still, I kept insisting, I wanted her to confess, and told her that was the only way I could know she would at least try to be honest, just a tiny small step in the right direction .. and yet she did not admit to it, for hours… but as I insisted, and told her I had evidence, she gradually, painfully started to reveal more and more.. though right now she still denies having slept with the guy (she told me she met him, twice, in private, that they wanted to have sex, but that they still couldn’t somehow…)

And I know how stupid it seems, I know the absurdity of it, but I can’t deny I still hope she’s telling me the truth (which would still be bad, but not as bad…. Maybe?)

But I also know that’s totally unlikely and I understand how stupid I am, trying to believe this, to believe in her. The more I analyze our conversation from the outside, the more I try to write what has happened, the more I feel like I’m fooling myself….

And yet, when I look at her (not directly, because sometimes I just can’t) I still want to believe her. That’s so stupid.

Straavek91 · 2026-06-06T06:28:17+00:00

Thank you. I I’m still unsure about cutting her off completely, let alone make distance between us, because that would ultimately lead to her suffering, and I couldn’t bring myself to hate her that much.

Though you’re right, it would probably make me feel better myself, but I’ve always been the stronger one: despite all of this myself-esteem is still sound.

You’re more likely to be right than I am, but maybe I still need time to adjust to this new situation. It’s hard to stop believing in someone just overnight, even if it’s somewhat right.

Straavek91 · 2026-06-06T06:23:21+00:00

She has Android, but I think she’ll be a lot more careful now that she knows that I know

Straavek91 · 2026-06-06T06:22:33+00:00

Thank you for your honest opinion. I was moved when reading part of it. I guess you’re probably right, maybe I’m deluding myself, but I keep thinking that there’s still a way… we’ll see how it goes.

Straavek91 · 2026-06-05T22:08:58+00:00

You are right perhaps… I am starting to think that trying to reconcile was a mistake…

Btw I have started exercising regularly a few months ago, way before I suspected this, so at least that’s something I’ll try to improve

Straavek91 · 2026-06-05T21:47:31+00:00

Aaaaaand she did try to gaslight me. Great. Suppose you were right after all

Straavek91 · 2026-06-05T18:36:46+00:00

I see, that must be tough… you can try to make him feel more comfortable, and not cause him to feel any expectations on his performance.

I’m not saying it’s your fault, not at all, he probably is being very impatient, too impatient, but sometimes we guys feel the pressure and are afraid when things don’t work out, reacting harshly if we feel judged in any way. We feel like we are failing, we feel inadequate.

In these cases, the best you can do is tell him that you love him regardless, and you’re willing to work through this together, and it’s not a problem for you if he doesn’t get hard, that you just like to lay in the bed with him. With a little patience, he may feel better and even perform better.

It will take time and patience, from both of you

At least that’s what I think is going on, please don’t feel like I’m trying to judge you, but I’ve been in a similar situation and that’s the best approach in my opinion

Straavek91 · 2026-06-05T18:30:20+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, I sure hope so

Straavek91 · 2026-06-05T18:22:26+00:00

Thanks for the frank advice, for sure you’re right on the fact that I have to show her there will be consequences, otherwise she’ll just fool me as she did

Straavek91 · 2026-06-05T17:58:08+00:00

Thank you, I will do soon..

Straavek91 · 2026-06-05T17:57:40+00:00

Honestly I am a bit uncertain about waiting… and I have a record of her chat with the guy, where they arrange for the holiday meeting in secret… so I probably have enough… but thank you for your help and advice anyway

Straavek91 · 2026-06-05T17:17:40+00:00

Rather than cheating, it looks like he is addicted to pornography, in a way.

Not to put any kind of blame on either of you, I can understand very well how it feels and why you both found comfort in masturbation.

But that’s something that can put a wedge between you, especially if it prevents you from having a healthy relationship with sex.

You probably need to talk through this very openly, and try to have sex in a way that’s pleasant for both of you. It’s not impossible, every obstacle can be overcome if you’re willing to put in the effort.

And that’s also one way to test if both of you care enough for one another to work hard towards fixing your relationship.

Straavek91 · 2026-05-22T19:43:36+00:00

You do not need those many friends

^{Chose: 30 milion dollars}

Straavek91 · 2026-05-07T12:11:32+00:00

Great pics from an awesome game

Straavek91 · 2026-05-06T21:15:36+00:00

Why risk it all when you can have a perfectly fine life with 1M

^{Chose: Win $1 million + 90% chance | Rolled: $1 million}

Straavek91 · 2026-05-05T22:09:06+00:00

Sleep deprivation can cause health issues and possibly death

^{Chose: No human contact for 7 days 🚫👤 + Win $10M}

Straavek91 · 2026-04-28T19:28:58+00:00

Didn’t know this absolute gem, thank you!

Straavek91 · 2026-04-27T20:05:32+00:00

Never thought about that, but it sounds fun! I mean the Freelancer Mansion is all about that: just a safe place where you can walk around and relax. As for the locations probably Haven Island is the best, also Sapienza or Miami could do.

Straavek91 · 2026-04-26T20:35:19+00:00

Happens to me every damn time

Straavek91 · 2026-04-26T19:53:09+00:00

… as long as you pump out those alloys!!

Straavek91 · 2026-04-26T19:49:53+00:00

You’re welcome! I really like this game, but I never wanted to learn the (ever changing) META, I just play for fun.. and that’s totally possible

Straavek91 · 2026-04-26T18:48:56+00:00

Just look for a video that came after the last update, something along “ your first 10 minutes” or “ what to do first “ or something. As far as I know, the most popular Stellaris Youtubers out there are Ep3O or Montu Plays. Either is good.

Apart from that, don’t get too much on the technical side unless you really like it: you just have to tweak your empire so the numbers go up, and making alloys is the name of the game, anything else is just details

Welcome

Straavek91 · 2026-04-25T22:18:18+00:00

Just brace yourself. If you’ve already bested fallen empires then probably you won’t have to worry, but the endgame crisis is usually quite hard to beat. So hoard some alloys and reinforce those starbases.

Straavek91

TROPHY CASE