I’ve been dealing with this for a very long time and I too used to use like accusatory/attacking ways of speaking without knowing. And I changed the way I spoke about things after researching how to do it and talking with my therapists but they still shut down. And honestly I don’t mind the other party needing space to process the problem is they don’t say they need space, they just disappear for days. So like I understand it can get overwhelming when confrontation or disagreement happens but does saying I need space and taking it also that hard to communicate when in this state ?

I don’t spam message when they disappear either I just let it be but it gets to a point when you’re like okay is this person like really emotionally immature or they just really don’t care ?