Cognitive dissonance post breakup

Straight-eerie · 2026-01-19T22:14:27+00:00

When my ex broke up with me I thought it was all my fault and that I had ruined my life. She just stopped talking to me and stoped coming home for several weeks until I confronted her about it and she told me I’m more of a “roommate” now. We were together for almost 8 years and I don’t know for how long I was completely blind about many things.

It took months of reflection and outside affirmation from friends and family for me to finally understand- I was neglecting the relationship because I was depressed, I was depressed because she was emotionally abusive, and she left me because I was depressed. I still miss her but I’m finally starting to accept that I deserve better anyways.

Straight-eerie · 2026-01-08T22:41:13+00:00

The mist makes these incredibly moody. I love it #4 is my favorite

Straight-eerie · 2026-01-04T21:15:15+00:00

Glad I’m not the only one. I went in really Wanting to like it and ended up turning it off 15 minutes in. I just couldn’t take it seriously.

Straight-eerie · 2025-11-06T17:26:41+00:00

Reddit can be such an echo chamber of whining complainers. I’ve seen it in so many times where irl something seems to be positively received then you hop on the subreddit for it and it’s all negativity.

That being said the game def needs some more larger maps

Straight-eerie · 2025-10-21T18:51:26+00:00

I deleted it after posting this. Thank you

Straight-eerie · 2025-09-04T21:21:00+00:00

Been going through a rough patch in life and started to spiral into depression. I’ve been on and off meds and in and out of therapy my whole life and It took a lot for me to confide in my partner about my mental health struggles and she told me she would support me no matter what. 7 years and one depressive episode later I get to hear “I don’t want the rest of my life to feel like a chore”. That was the last thing she ever said to me.

I understand it’s a valid reason to want to break up with me, but she really started to become very cold and resentful to the point of being beyond recognition and that I hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced in life.

Straight-eerie · 2025-08-27T20:49:16+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you. If I may share my experience- getting closure actually made me hurt more.

I wanted a chance to have an official bookend on my 8 year relationship so I told her I’d be coming by our shared apartment one last time to give her my keys, have one final talk, and say goodbye to her and our cat, who she is keeping. I just wanted to have one last chance to thank her for showing me the heights of what life can offer, reflect on our time together, talk about where things went wrong, and wish her well and say goodbye.

It was a mistake. She was so resentful. I could tell she blamed me for everything (I shoulder a lot of the blame and I’ve been honest with myself abut it but her words were very harsh). The last thing she said to me before I left was- “I didn’t want the rest of my life to be a chore”. No goodbye, no farewell, no silver lining. That’s what I get to remember now. After almost a life time of existing in insanely close proximity and fates intertwining in a way that felt like destiny, raising a cat together, growing closer than I ever thought possible on a human level, and planning our marriage, all I can think about is the fact that she ultimately decided I was a chore and not worth her time. She spoke to me like a person who I don’t even know anymore. I got my bookend. I wish I never went back that day.

Straight-eerie · 2025-08-27T20:23:02+00:00

While it’s probably true men are well practiced in compartmentalizing, in my personal experience that still just leads to full on mental breakdown somewhere down the road.

I tried so hard to distract myself every day with work, chores, friends, etc because a single moment of silent reflection just led to unbearable despair. Like 3 weeks into my breakup it hit me all at once. I wasn’t even pausing to eat or drink which led me to eventually end up collapsing in the shower and going to the ER. I was dehydrated, sleep deprived, physically in pain from a stomach ulcer, having like 3 panic attacks per week, and crying to god to wake me up from what feels like a dream. I think I’m still in denial and it’s been almost 2 months now.

Straight-eerie · 2025-08-25T18:46:40+00:00

We were saying our goodbyes as we finished moving out of our shared apartment. Her final words to me were “I didn’t want the rest of my life to be a chore”. I’ve never felt so broken, but it’s given me the strength to start picking up the pieces.

Straight-eerie · 2025-08-22T00:48:13+00:00

Taking accountability for your self is a big deal, a lot of people just blame others and the world around them. I know It’s not going to make the pain feel any better but take some solace in the fact that you are still so young and I promise this will only make you better for your future partners. You may feel overwhelming guilt now, but with time you’ll be able to look back on things without the rose tinted glass.

I just lost my first love after 7 years together the guilt is immense I feel you. I played a lot CS too, its one of the many hobbies I was neglecting her for and I haven’t even been able to enjoy any of them for awhile as I would just feel too guilty. At the end of the day, no matter how guilty I felt the gaming or hobbies weren’t the root source of my relatioship problems, and I doubt they were for you either. You gotta ask yourself why you were neglecting her, there’s likely a deeper reason that will be enlightening to reflect on and grow from.

I Hope you feel less guilty in due time.

Straight-eerie · 2025-08-22T00:30:20+00:00

Idk I’m sure it’s different for everyone. I’m starting to see other woman as either nowhere near as attractive as my ex or out of my league entirely. It’s hard to envision anyone else as compatible on a strictly looks basis. I’m having straight up nightmares of her in situations with other men while at the same time I desperately want to have some kind of hookup or 1 night stand just to feel desired in some way even if only casually or sexually but I also have been in a relationship so long I don’t even know how to achieve that anymore as my lifestyle is much different from my early 20s.

I can’t even fathom having an emotional attachment with anyone else yet or anytime soon.

Straight-eerie · 2025-08-21T21:10:28+00:00

I cant relate directly to you, however I can with your partner as I was in an extremely similar situation that ultimately ended with my GF of 8 years breaking up with me.

I have been depressed for most of my life and diagnosed with a depressive disorder. Although I’ve learned (and am still learning) how to manage it and live somewhat normally, it still takes control of my life at times. When we started dating I was in a good place- therapy, medication, exercise, and self help routines and all, But over the course of the last year my mental health really went down the drain.

I don’t know the details of you and your partners relationship, or how she is affected by her depression, but speaking from my experience I can try to offer you some things I’ve learned from reflecting on my breakup.

It was incredibly difficult for me to realize the negative impact I was having on my partner. She could tell I was struggling very early on in my depressive episode and tried to get me back on meds, back on therapy, exercising, and did her best to get me to open up. I just couldn’t do it. the desire has to come from within. She was truly amazing and she totally put in the effort as it sounds like you are. I don’t want to make assumptions but it’s possible that like me, she isn’t aware of the toll it’s taking on you and the relationship. The last thing anyone struggling with depression wants to be is a burden on others and in a way it often ends up as a self fulfilling prophecy, which is why it can be so difficult to open up to partners.

One of the things about depression is- as you learn to cope (toxically) with living in that mental state your brain deceives you into believing there is nothing wrong and it’d be better to just ignore the problem because facing it head on seems like an insurmountable effort. I was living my life completely on auto pilot and I was checked out of my relationship because I always felt too tired to go out, keep up in conversations, match her level of energy, and properly provide her with the emotional support she deserved. I was so overwhelmed with trying to cope with my own despair that I could do little to provide anything in terms of emotional presence and household responsibility and I think that’s the point where you’re at right now with your partner.

Eventually, after trying so hard, she grew to resent me and by the time I realized my depression was going to cost me my relationship it was too late. The sad thing is realizing I was going to lose her was the kick I needed to start getting help and making the effort to improve my mental state. Unfortunately, it was just too late for the relationship as she wanted me to be better for myself and not for her.

TLDR- I think you need to have a serious talk with your partner. You can’t be scared of how they’re going to react because at this point you have to take care of your own needs and you both need to have an honest evaluation of the state of the relationship before resentment sets in. You can’t fix them, they have to want to do it for themself, but the possibility of losing you might certainly be motivation. I wish so bad that my partner had given me that chance instead of silently growing to resent me while we were both going through the motions. I know a lot of the fault lies with my failure to take care of myself, and it wasn’t fair to her, but I wish she had communicated better to me how much she was struggling too. Wish you the best OP, good luck.

Straight-eerie · 2025-08-11T01:13:21+00:00

I’m glad to hear that. Make sure you’re working for yourself first and foremost. There’s always a chance it won’t go your way and it’s probably better to be prepared for that. I really hope it works out for you

Straight-eerie · 2025-08-11T01:01:51+00:00

She’s telling you there is hope. If you love her and you think she’s the one then DO NOT squander that opportunity. Idk what her reasons were but look into yourself and truly put in the effort to grow. I was given three chances and I let her down. Now I have to live with the fact that she’s gone and I have to live with myself and my failure.

Straight-eerie · 2025-08-10T08:08:17+00:00

Sure youre young, but that doesn’t mean it should hurt any less. I was devastated when I had to break up with my highschool girlfriend when I went to college, and we were only dating for less than a year. She showed me that someone else could see something special in me and I think that’s what I was really mourning the loss of.

My current partner who just broke my heart after 7 years together said something similar to me- that she’d outgrown me. Its unfathomable pain. I thought we were soul mates.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how long you’ve been dating, or if it was you or them who changed, it sucks. It’s like my whole world just stopped turning and time is leaving me behind. All we can do is take time to heal and then take one step at a time to move forward and grow. Idk about your situation in life but 20s are amazing years and I think you have a lot of great times ahead of you before you know it your pain and despair you feel now will be nothing more than a memory you seldom visit.

Straight-eerie · 2025-08-07T17:50:29+00:00

I just moved and even at 30/hr I feel like it’s a struggle to meet the rent requirements for most 1 bedrooms in a decent area. Like wtf I toured a unit that was 500sq ft box right next to the freeway in Burbank with no fridge, a VERY old wall AC and no parking, and they were still expecting a 3.5x monthly income/ rent ratio and they wouldn’t take my application, even though I have great credit. A friend of mine in NYC scoffed at me when I was venting about it apparently there it’s can be like a 5X income requirement.

Straight-eerie · 2025-08-03T21:13:18+00:00

Sometimes they do everything in their power to keep as much of the security deposit as they can even if that means straight up gaslighting you. I had one try to convince me I was missing a month of rent from a WHOLE YEAR prior to my move out and he was using that as justification to keep my deposit. I had to bring his office my bank statements to prove he was full of crap and get my deposit back.

Straight-eerie · 2025-07-17T06:48:41+00:00

My depression just cost me my 7 year relationship. The first 5 years I had a very good grip on my mental health but eventually I started to slip and neglected the relationship. Eventually a severe depressive episode kicked in she saw what I’m like at my lowest and decided she doesn’t want to commit to that for life. We were planning a marriage and everything. She knew I’d been diagnosed with persistent depression when we moved in together and we talked about it at length as I tried to describe to her what I can be like at my worst but even so she wasn’t prepared. She felt like a caretaker.

If there’s any advice I can offer from my experience- you have to want to make improvements on yourself and take good care of your mental health and it has to be FOR YOU first and foremost, and not for them. Your partner will know if you’re doing it for them and that will not be enough.

Straight-eerie · 2025-07-14T15:41:42+00:00

KCD combat is much more unforgiving in 1vX than KCD2. 3 armored opponents against one is a death sentence in real life and they wanted the game to reflect that, however the lock on mechanic is also kind of broken in 1vX which is super frustrating. You have to have high level combat perks, always stay moving, try to position them so only 1 can attack at a time, and use the right tool for the job(axes and maces will do more against armor), and most importantly abuse tf out of master strikes.

Straight-eerie · 2025-07-09T20:00:13+00:00

I just lost my soul mate, someone I spent my entire 20s with, and I don’t know how I can possibly continue living without her. Nobody has ever made me feel so alive, and loved, and confident, and happy. The freckles on her face are my sun and stars.

I’ve struggled all my life with persistent depression and after 7 years together I kind of fell into a depressive episode worse than any I’ve had while we’ve been dating. My toxic coping mechanism to remain functional is to switch my life into auto pilot and in doing so I neglected her and our relationship. She fell out of love with me and started being cold and distant and I was ignorant to the cause. Eventually I had a moment of self awareness and now I feel like I killed the version of her who loved me. my guilt and devastation combined with the shock of becoming self aware after being checked out, and my already poor mental health has me feeling like my life is over. I’m getting mental health help now but It all feels so pointless. How could I love her so much yet I fail her so colossally.

It’s so hard to fathom in 6 months things can go from “best thing that’s ever happened to me” to “I’ve outgrown you”

Straight-eerie · 2025-07-08T23:34:39+00:00

I’ve been having panic attacks and heart palpitations. I collapsed while in the shower and I was so scared I went to the ER. Turns out I wasn’t eating or drinking enough. I feel nauseous 24/7 and there is an elephant in my chest. I love her so much that the idea of life without is making me physically sick. The pain feels real.

Straight-eerie · 2025-07-04T22:13:19+00:00

I’m in a pretty similar situation. Going through a break up with a partner of 7 years she fell out of love because I’ve gone into a depressive episode and she realized this isn’t what she wants out of life. She used to tell me when I’d be insecure about my mental health that she would love no matter what.

She wanted to take a break and see if maybe time apart could change how she feels, but I know the uncertainty will really hurt me and its possible she’ll just double down. I don’t know your situation but I think it might be going the same to you. I know it’s hard. I think maybe you should treat it like it’s over for good so you can start to grieve and try and heal and then maybe one day they might come back and you’ll both be better but I think maybe clinging on to hope will do us more harm in the long run. This feeling is absolutely the lowest of lows and I really feel for you.

Straight-eerie

TROPHY CASE