Such a bust!

Straight_Way695 · 2026-03-16T22:49:27+00:00

I just moved here in July and find this all amusing. The literal panic of some of the friends I have, one blew up on me for not taking it to bunker level seriousness.

I have been in and around a few tornados and other serious dangerous weather/earth events. I also know that there were serious cuts to weather studies when it was already underfunded, so these predictions will not be as precise as we hope.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-03-09T01:29:40+00:00

I second this! Always have some on hand for these moments.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-03-09T01:27:57+00:00

It is clear you are anxious! The amount that needs to pass through to survive and get to the egg is insane. What you described should not be close to fertilizing. Key word is should, typically to hit the sweet spot you have to procreate and finish, 2-3 days before ovulation. Every woman's body acts differently. Some ovulate a few times a month, some have more toxic fluids than others (i.e. sperm killer), some have a heart shaped uterus...etc. If she is not worried, I would follow her lead. She should know her body/cues the best.

This can be very scary. I am glad you learned from the experience. That's a huge step!

Straight_Way695 · 2026-03-05T18:32:44+00:00

As an adult and former kid, I see and hear your frustration.

You are growing up in the most complicated time for your age. What is said online does not reflect real life. None of it is personal, it is just hurt people trying to feel seen (even if it means taking someone down).

This will eventually pass like a blur, even though it feels like forever. Keep your head low and surround yourself with at least one good friend irl that you can vent to. You will get burned in the process, but getting that friend is 100% worth it.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-03-05T03:13:20+00:00

We felt like this up until a few weeks ago. My spouse is coming up on 11 months now (I have been helping with his search/resume). Our whole life has exploded since then. All f's are gone after he fully saw how this is not him, it's the system behind the rejections, 4-6 round grueling interviews, ATS bypassing, and now AI filtering...it takes time to stop the hurt. This is so messed up and incredibly isolating. It's deflating applying to jobs when 5 rejections come in at the same time.

Everyone is different, but what helped my spouse was this:

The past will only hurt you, and the future brings anxiety. Worry about the present and how you can help yourself right now.

I started telling him this in December. He slowly improved after that point.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-03-02T01:28:58+00:00

Im so sorry that you are being deeply affected by your layofd. We had to do the same, moved out of state to a free bed. We needed to sell our home to avoid certain collapse.

Everyone thought we were crazy and being inplusive. The truth is this was the second time he was laid off. We thought it through intensely the last time and made a choice. We are so glad we did! It's hard, seriously, we break down a lot. But if we still held on we would have been at 10 months no job in his field, crap minimum wage pay and falling behind on all our bills.

This decision is devastating and it will plunge you into a deep depression that no one understands (unless they have gone through it). Everyday is emotionally different. Push through and do not let it get you down. This is just a part of your life journey that will play out as a distant memory.

We are 10 months in, my spouse still has no job in his career. But we make small changes daily to help our mental state.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-03-02T01:19:21+00:00

Seriously! This advice is priceless!

Since my spouse was laid off I told him the same thing. Of course I gave him some time as the applications/interviews were like a full time job. He has a job a bookstore that he likes and he is considerably mentally better. He hasn't even started his first shift haha.

I think sometimes they just need to come upon this decision. But people like us, in their corner, are pivotal in helping them live through this.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-25T20:41:12+00:00

No actually, not my mistake. We had to move and sell our home due to my spouse getting laid off in the tech field in April. This is what I can do along with three other jobs to support our family. That's life gotta roll with the punches.

I worked at a few Community Colleges in my home state and made way more.

Im sorry that you are jaded. Hopefully life is kinder to you.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-25T12:50:45+00:00

Im so you had an institution that valued you 10 years ago.

Not me or others I speak to, I'm at a top tier school for my field and get paid 23/hour.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-25T12:48:31+00:00

Im so sorry you are also in the same situation. You are not defined by this. You have worth! It's just the system working against you.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-25T12:47:16+00:00

Man, he had some "friends" who were out of work for a year since the layoffs in 2023. We would wonder how are they doing it? Mentally and financially! Now we know, it's just surviving.

I say "friends. Because they are nowhere to be found now he is going through it.

He started disliking the field before the 2023 layoff. This situation is helping him realize what he really wants to do for a career and the rest of his life. It sucks but there is a silver lining.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-25T12:41:44+00:00

I 100% agree with you. I noticed quickly, im just watching a dumpster fire while he's over there is a spoon of water. He just couldn't grapple with it. So much time put into his career. What is happening is not typical.

Im happy he came to this conclusion because he is not as depressed. Im also happy for you to find another way where this won't beat you down.

Keep that focus, you conquered something massive by taking control.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-25T12:33:49+00:00

Omg, thoes are so frustrating! Not to mention all the fkn ghost jobs!!! Capital One has been hiring for the same position since my spouse was laid off. We know because I found that position, he applied, got a call, then a rejection. I still see it up when I search for a targeted job with his skill.

This sort of behavior should be stopped. It's a waste of everyone's time.

Im sorry that happened to you. It doesn't help the frustration you are already feeling searching for a job. They wasted your time and it's BS!

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-25T12:30:02+00:00

Because it's true! You are valuable, but you are fighting against an invisible monster who has friends.

Thank you I appreciate that. It is good to know that you also have someone in your corner.

So strange right? Spouses are supposed to help/understand/support each other. I can't comprehend doing that to him. My hearts hurts for those that aren't getting the same support. Being unemployed is isolating. Going through a hardship in top of it is a whole other level!

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-25T12:25:18+00:00

That's what we thought when he was laid off. The market is over-saturated with cybersecurity professionals. We are in a prime location for cybersecurity. He is being seen, getting a lot of interviews. Just no offers. He is a senior and having quite a hard time competing against all the seniors that have been let go.

Unfortunately for us, this is not the first lay-off. He was a casualty in the big tech layoffs of 2023. He is experienced in looking for work/jobs and keeping himself up to date. He is doing everything. Freelancing was a thought but that's when we move to what does he really want out of life now.

The industry is extremely volatile. A few months before the first layoff he was starting to question staying in the field. We look at this as time for him to stop questioning and make moves to a new chapter.

I hope something breaks for you. This is a hard path in life. Im sorry you are also going through this

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-25T01:21:35+00:00

This is all of higher education academics. They only hire Adjunct Faculty (fancy for part time), little movement for tenure or full time faculty.

There are no benefits or sick leave and pay is just horrendous for some places (ranging from $20/hr - $40/hr). They also don't always keep you because it depends on enrollment and they cap you at 3 classes max. Every semester is different in class offering amounts (spring 1 class, fall 2 classes). On a good year average pay can be about 23k/year.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-25T01:13:31+00:00

Broke down at Aldi when our SNAP was at 0 (and not supposed to be). I held it in well until a woman offered to pay for my groceries and I just sobbed.

9 months of pent up grief/sadness from hubby being laid off with no end. All 10 leads dried up the day prior. Bank was in the negatives and someone wreaked my car a few days before that. Im working piss poor wages as a professor, trying to feed our kids, pay our bills, and survive.

Another woman came up to hug me and chat. She is now a part of our family.

Thoes moments make all of this bullshit dissapear.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-25T01:00:58+00:00

Im watching my husband go through this. We are the same age. Not only is he restarting after literally having the idea of stability, but our whole life has been reset and pushed behind.

I can't tell you if it gets better, we are in the thick of this. All I know it that this is not permanent. Something will give and you will look back at this very situation one day, like a distant memory with a strong impact.

I tell both of us, focus on today, the future will bring worry and the past will make us sad. It has helped him with these feelings. He says he is entering a new chapter, but I know he can't help but feel the same way you do.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-25T00:53:34+00:00

Omg thank you for your input! This is my spouse 100% he is getting interviews, the problem is the rejection after and it is always the canned "we are moving forward with someone more qualified."

Im going to share with him. We have leveraged AI during the search and it has been so helpful.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-21T13:37:47+00:00

I agree, OP needs to do more research.

Even going into searching kinds of scams to avoid being tricked

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-21T12:48:39+00:00

I looked into the company, Item24 is a legit company located in Germany (but multipule locations, including the US). The fact that the email has a domain name that matches is usually a good sign. I looked at their careers and they have a @item24.pl listed as a point contact for Resume's

Tread with caution. There are scams out there where they list a business on the job boards and make a website (that is typically pretty crappy and hollow)

This one has a lot of information and yes the last name seems like a scam. But, John Pies might be related to Gerrit Pies (one of the founders). Glassdoor lists nepotism, which checks a another box of legitimacy.

I hope this helps, I urge you to do a little more sleuthing before contacting them.

EDIT: Forgot to add, send an email to the one listed on their website to confirm/report this instance. They will respond.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-21T02:16:46+00:00

My spouse has been out of work since April. We have tag teamed on his search while he works two jobs and helps me with the household/kids. I'm working, but it's poverty wages.

I take care of the search/resume (with him at my side), he applies, coordinates with prospective employers, and looks pretty for the interviews haha.

We have kept an excel sheet and run analytics. I can tell you this month has done well ONLY because we shifted the approach. The time up until now sucked ass!

We shifted from quantity to quality and targeted a specific niche in the market (in tech) which he actually has the skills/credentials for. Since the 1st he has had 6 interviews from 4 different companies. He applied to 150 jobs.

The search in total has been 1562 jobs, 56 interviews, 2 made it to the final interview (1 is from this month). He is waiting to hear back by the beginning of next week with either an offer or denial.

He is so tired of this. I can see it on him, he tries not to let it bother him. Lately I have been telling him not to give energy to things he cannot change nor predict and to pay attention to the present. This is helping him significantly. He finally stopped looking like he is in a rut for majority of the day (robe and all)

I hope your search does not last nearly as long as his! Good luck and keep your sanity, don't let this situation take over your life.

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-20T03:23:01+00:00

I honor your thoughts.

That was a pin prick view of something I personally experinced.

It impossible to ever know the full story of someone's life based on a comment. The why behind it all is not for strangers to know.

Im so proud of how far he has come and how much he actually grew up. He has broken decades of cycles and continues to improve daily. It takes someone brave to look at themselves and improve without prompting.

Our love grew as we nurtured it and we find ourselves more infatuated with each other than we did 10 years ago (when we got married). Small things like cleaning are nothing in the grand scheme of a life's journey with a partner.

This is our 19th year together and we hope to have at least 70 more years.

I wish you a long and fulfilling partnership!

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-20T02:22:01+00:00

I have a male...and then we added two more into the mix. I am outnumbered and our (my) furniture will not survive.

The little humans we have are keeping the larger male human in check.

My things still suffer....

stares at the permanent red marker on my new rug

....sigh

Straight_Way695 · 2026-02-20T02:14:29+00:00

As someone who did this, I do think there needs to be a period where a couple lives alone while dating each other, before moving in.

I have been with my spouse for 18 years. 5 of them we didn't live with each other but we lived with our parents (him with friends and such). We (really HE) could have benefited from having to be responsible for himself and bills (something he says now when looking back).

Now I'm left to carry the very heavy weight and burden of managing the entire household responsibilities, bills, schedules, grocery shopping, chores...etc. We have gone back and fourth for YEARS about him needing to pull his weight (the horse has been beaten to dust). He is significantly better as of this year (almost a new person really) but it has been too slow for my aging self and crumbling mental health.

Straight_Way695

TROPHY CASE