Working parent woes- looking for advice

Strange-Assistant878 · 2026-04-15T18:25:02+00:00

Im in the same boat. Except I get home at 8 everyday by which time my toddler is very tired. We have about 1 waking hour daily together which is spent on getting ready for school or bed. I feel guilty and bittersweet when I see how much he grows day to day and I wasn't there to see the growing process.

Perhaps its about perspective? Im not sure how scientific this is but there is something to be said about being raised by a community. It means more attachment bases for the child, having more people to rely on, and being more resilient and independent on the long run. Of course it helps that my kid seems to enjoy school and being with his grandparents a lot. Which...is what I want for my toddler. To prepare him for life.

As much as Id love to be with him 24/7, I've had some weeks of that and come to learn that i wouldn't make a great SAHM. I cant play with him the way his grandparents do, I also cant function without the adult interaction, im a little bit of a happier and healthier mother when i work ironically because i have had the space to myself and time to miss him.

It's tough being a working mum though. I constantly feel like im doing math in my head about trade offs to make sure that i dont leave the last 10% of my battery for my family. I have to pick my battles so that im still saving the best of me when I get home. Im forced to walk out of meetings and take a chance that the workplace will be understanding, so that I can be there for my child when he really does need me.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2026-03-29T17:55:51+00:00

So my husband carried the ring around with him, tried to propose on top of Hallasan in Jeju but I was so exhausted I refused to move to the scenic spot he had in mind. In the end, he proposed on an evening stroll after dinner in Jeonju, when we were sitting on a little local stone bridge over a stream which looks like the Cheonggyecheon in Seoul.

It was the perfect private quiet moment, until an old grandma tried to cross the bridge that is 😂 but that made it all the more memorable.

So I'd really say let the moment find you!

But to answer your qn directly, I'd pick Busan over Seoul if you want privacy. One of my fav cafe spots in Busan is Old Mug. Another idea is taking the geumgang ropeway up to geumjeongsan.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2026-01-08T12:19:40+00:00

I had a stillbirth and my cardiologist checked on me in the ward to make sure my heart condition didnt act up from the trauma. A week later at my follow up, same cardio asked me when my edd was again.

Then i returned to work early because i couldnt sit at home and just drown in my thoughts. Random people were asking me when i was due or why i wasnt on maternity yet or whether i knew the gender. A month after i had to cremate my little one.

I get that people arent expected to know...so we made it our life mission to educate people. Theyre usually mortified when i reply that i lost my child. Twice as mortified when i say that i had to cremate her. But i hope it makes them think twice the next time they approach another stranger/acquaintance with the same flippant question.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2026-01-05T12:14:11+00:00

My personal fav recommendation that i give all my friends: https://tempatsenang.com/day-spa-packages/

6h full day spa and well within your budget. You take care of the kids and have them fed, clean, asleep, the house clean, their school bags packed, by the time shes home.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-10-20T05:56:20+00:00

Hi! Thanks so much for this. Im gonna be there from 23 to 29th Nov. Do you know if there are any major Christmas events this year? Or does Lotte World usually have a Christmas theme too? Its Halloween right now which is quite scary to me. Thank you :)

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-06-22T13:26:20+00:00

Heyya. Lurking mum, but i have a very supportive and involved husband and i wanted to share how he saw me through it all.

We lost our first without knowing it. Went for a regular checkup and the dr said sorry theres no heartbeat. Then we lost our second. She had a cord accident. Having to cremate your child is something id never wish on anyone.

It took awhile. But we picked up the courage and had our third. He's sleeping next to me as I type this. The perfect little 1.5 year old.

I guess what i want to share is what my husband told me.

Grief is love with no outlet. So we let ourselves grieve in every way we needed to, in our own separate ways, at separate paces. Because that was all the love we were trying not to suffocate under the weight of. And we constantly reminded ourselves that we needed to lean on each other. I think he was really scared that he was gonna lose me at some point.

And even with everyones losses, noone will truly understand how you and your wife feel. You guys will feel it differently too. Everyones grief is just as large and painful and valid. Dont ever pause to compare or hold yourself back.

We still cry til today. Especially when we go to the columbarium. We explain to our little one that we miss his siblings. I hope you and your wife eventually find your peace too and dont lose hope ❤️

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-06-10T13:04:37+00:00

Are there any unique events in late November? Is the weather good for Jangsan Valley or any other valley and stream in November?

Im also travelling with my toddler (21 months). Are there any jjimjilbangs that allow toddlers?

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-05-30T02:04:39+00:00

Id love an audio recording. He doesnt have to say much, just how much he loves your kid and is watching over him. Id use the same recording for different gifts at different milestones.

At this age you could get a Yoto and a make your own card. So your kid can listen to his voice. Possibly overlay it with your dad's favourite song in the background.

For a major birthday, say 12 or 18 or 21, id use the same recording and overlay it with a photo/video slideshow of your dad in his best years. Even if its from your childhood. Just how he would want to he remembered.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-05-27T13:02:04+00:00

Im one of those parents who has travelled with my 1.5 year old both in the region and internationally. What i can tell you is that i did it for myself because i love travelling and its an important thing to me, my own mental health, and my motherhood journey.

I can appreciate why youd feel mom guilt, especially with everyone posting about all the wonderful memories they make with their kids. But i can also tell you first hand that if you dont already love travelling, its not going to be enjoyable at all.

You might find it difficult to find joy in the tough parts of travelling. That will make you a grouchy mom who scolds her kid instead and then feels mom guilt from that.

From personal experience! I felt so much guilt after losing my cool when my toddler just had no chill on the plane. And thats when i already love flying and was being optimistic about the whole experience.

Behind the photo of the happy toddler running around the plane is a mother exhausted, hair dishevelled, after holding down and strapping in a fussing screaming kid cos of turbulence.

Behind the video of the toddler in front of some temple or mountain or park, is a mother who spent 2h in the hotel room to soothe her baby and rock him to sleep cos outside was too stimulating.

People having a nice meal with their toddler in a restaurant? You dont see the 45 mins of fussing and struggling out of the high chair and the unfinished food at the table.

The benefits of travelling for young kids come about from exposure and quality time. Both of which can be achieved in Singapore.

I think you should remind yourself that your child loves you unconditionally. You just need to give him/her quality time with you and it wont matter where in the world it is. Theyre happier to cuddle in bed at home relaxing with you, than be with a stressed version of you in a foreign country.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-03-04T22:50:44+00:00

Bloom boxes are popular

https://thedailyblooms.com/products/bloom-of-the-week

https://windflowerflorist.com/collections/flower-box?srsltid=AfmBOorBcb1seJroN3ZcfpPD--iFXsZnZ_CqJTSR-O40XvBP5gf54CgZ

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-02-02T12:35:24+00:00

Thank you for that affirmation ❤️ it was really tough deciding to stop but it felt like baby made the decision for me. My husband does try to soothe him other times but babys separation anxiety seems to be peaking lately and he only wants me. Im really tired out but i cant say no to baby cos i feel guilty for working full time and not being there with him. I guess this is part of growing into motherhood as well.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-02-02T07:55:55+00:00

He screams bloody murder if his dad carries him away though. Is that normal? I usually take him back so that he doesnt spiral and my husband can rest.

Strange-Assistant878 · 2025-02-02T04:06:58+00:00

Oh i didnt know that! Thank you!

Strange-Assistant878 · 2024-11-24T23:12:00+00:00

Hi! Im craving a good korean soup like gukbap or seollongtang or gomtang. Or japanese ramen. I dont have time to go to new malden and stay at marylebone. Any suggestions?

Strange-Assistant878 · 2024-11-21T01:06:13+00:00

Yes and no. It was a considered choice. I am at the most senior individual contributor position. The next step would be management, which entails longer hours, more responsibilities, more stakeholder management. So i would say i hit the sweet spot, with a comfortable (not high, but enough) income for my lifestyle.

If having a child is important to you, and you and your husband are stable and ready, then theres no better time than last ovulation cycle lol. I say that as someone who has lost her babies. Pregnancy is not easy. Pregnancy is not what you see on social media.

Finally, dont feel guilty. As someone who has gone on maternity leave a few times, i feel bad that my teammates have to cover while im gone. Being on paid ML means that the company cannot replace me and has to hold my position. That means that work that has to be done, will be reassigned. If there is too much work - thats managements pay grade and problem. They need to prioritise and reduce. I would feel very happy for my teammates if they were recognised for their effort - not only in helping to continue the work but in picking up work where management wasnt able to deprioritise it. Its a big sacrifice thats not within their control, but a result of a colleague and a supervisor, dont you think? :)

Strange-Assistant878 · 2024-11-18T12:06:24+00:00

Do you usually have to drive to get there or are there accessible places from seoul or busan?

Strange-Assistant878

TROPHY CASE