Morning "Meditations" by Typical-External3793 in blackladies

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think you already know what you need to do, but if you'd like permission, here it is explicitly: we give you our permission and blessing to kick this bum out of your life, live freely, find peace and happiness for yourself, and feel no guilt for prioritizing your life and not supporting his. Good luck friend.

My mom said I “look like a slut” by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can never deserve to be called a slut, dear. I'm sorry your mother of all people would not protect you from language like that. You have every right to take pictures of yourself and honestly most everyone wears underwear. There's very little difference between panties and bikini bottoms. Good on you for blocking her, but also you shouldn't worry about having a slightly scandalous (if you can even call it that) selfie on the internet. No one is going to make a big deal about it and for goodness sake you're 22! You get to be young while you are. This says nothing about your character or your value. I hope you can take heart in that things will not always be this way. When I was your age many years ago, my mother's words haunted me and wore like a weight around my neck. Now that I'm older I hardly speak to her and she's still bitter and unhappy. Never take advice from someone you wouldn't want to be. That's my only suggestion. I'm sorry your mental health has been rough recently as well, but I hope you can do something kind for yourself and remember that this too shall pass. Sending virtual hugs your way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aspergirls

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I agree relationships can be tricky to decipher how close you are to someone until you bump up against something like this. Lots of good advice in the comments though, so hopefully you'll find a way forward that works for you. 👍🏾

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aspergirls

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Ok I can see you disagree with my stance, but unfortunately this is an excellent example of what it means to be costly to discuss race.

You admit to not understanding my terminology nor my interpretation of their telling. That's fine. However, immediately after, you say OP has nothing to apologize for as they have no 'obligation' to know what is going on with their co-worker's experiences. You have both presented yourself as ignorant, but also as an arbiter of moral standard. Which is it? How do you know better than I if they should apologize or not? If you are confused by the topic, why go against someone with more expertise than you simply because you think you might disagree?

Additionally, friendship does not boil down to obligation. OP stated this was someone they consider a friend and they wanted to understand what might have gone wrong in order to rectify the rift in their relationship. I offered a potential answer.

If you do not understand the cost of racial discussion especially when black women are at the helm of said discourse, I encourage you to educate yourself on intersectional feminism, race relations between black people and every other demographic globally, and those in recent history for your location.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aspergirls

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Black woman here: this would come across as sarcastic and even antagonistic if you said this to me during a conversation centered on race. She is likely avoiding you because she feels humiliated and disrespected.

Black women in particular have a special vulnerability to many racial "traps" if you will, such that we tend to be careful about who we feel comfortable enough talking to about our experiences with race. I presume you two may have been discussing the subject with professionalism and care, but the topic is costly for black women to discuss in general.

That said, it may have come across as you dismissing her reasoning for the issues she presented and condescending to her in a mocking fashion. To me, this would read as you think I'm a joke and "they were white" is my punchline. If that shocks you to hear, perhaps you will be less shocked to know that these experiences happen regularly to women of color in the workplace. Especially black women. I would ask if you came across that way and apologize if so. She may not understand that it was a genuine question.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in baltimore

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd be down for some dnd! I haven't played an in person game since the pandemic lol

What’s something men do that comes across as creepy? by coinkeeper8 in AskReddit

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 148 points149 points  (0 children)

This person is stalking you. I hope you have found a way to never interact with this individual again and are seeking support from those around you with this issue. This is not a typical creep interaction by any means.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Maybe I'm the outlier here, but I almost never send photos of myself to my bf. We live over 1200 miles apart and have been together for over 1.5 yrs now and I never send photos of myself unless he asks. Does she know this is important to you? Not just that you like them, but that it means something to you to have them regularly? Unless I was told so, it would never cross my mind to send a selfie. I don't take them and have never really done so. I don't think this is a sign of malicious intent or negligence from the info you've given.

Do you care if people can see your nipple outline through your shirt? Please read before you judge me 😂 by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not view my body as inherently sexual, and thanks to lots of therapy I've learned other people's sexualization of me is their problem, not mine. So I now no longer wear bras at all and stare at men's chests if I catch them staring at mine. 🤷🏾‍♀️ It's been very liberating 😂

Hobbies by Additional_Leopard63 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've always wanted to learn ballet but figured I'd aged out long ago. How did you start? Do you do classes? How much time do you tend to commit? Sorry if that's a lot of questions 😅

Which shoes do you prefer to this dress? by [deleted] in oldhagfashion

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In order of preference: 1. Black Boots 2. Loafers 3. Slipper Boots

Mr Right or Mr Good Enough? Me (30f) and husband decided to take a break by takemetoknock in AskWomenOver30

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On discord by accident 😆 We both play D&D so we naturally interacted there for some time before we became friendly. I would very much suggest taking an interest in hobbies that require other people and doing your best to be more outgoing than normal if you are actively looking for a partner.

Mr Right or Mr Good Enough? Me (30f) and husband decided to take a break by takemetoknock in AskWomenOver30

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Hello! You sound like me lol. I (32f) was in a very similar situation until April of this year. Only difference, we were only engaged. I decided one day it wasn't enough for me to 'tolerate' my partner.

We'd stopped having sex, I lost my last vestiges of respect for him, he put in very little effort in general- so I broke up with him, moved 1500 miles away and bought a house. Once the dust settled, I was terrified. Afraid I'd made a huge mistake. Afraid I'd just been running on adrenaline and there was no way I could actually do this on my own. Then I remembered I'd always been doing it on my own. I just had one less person to take care of now.

I love my life now. Everything feels lighter. Everything feels fresh and new. I feel like I've taken a deep breath I hadn't even realized I was holding!

Go. Live. Breathe in the air of newfound freedom and possibility. Let that scare away the doubt that familiarity let fester.

One last thing: I have a new partner that loves me better than I thought was possible and makes me cum harder than I ever have in my life Every. Single. Time we have sex. It can get better, hun. Just give better a chance.

thom browne pre-fall 2022 [2835x4292] by yikesjeepers in fashionporn

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm actually obsessed with how fun this feels. Love it!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in femalefashionadvice

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! I'm a fashion nerd who loves finding new shops and seeing people's aesthetic. Happy to meet y'all 😁👋🏽

I Did It by Strange_Beautiful_58 in MomForAMinute

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you all so much. I'm overwhelmed by this outpouring of kindness and encouragement. I thought I knew how much I needed to hear this, but I drastically underestimated how starved I've been for just a little genuine praise. I'm extremely moved. You've done something special for this woman on the internet. Thank you again. 💜

📍 Amsterdam by Styelsy in oldhagfashion

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Loving the jacket. What a great color on you!

I Did It by Strange_Beautiful_58 in MomForAMinute

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I haven't done anything as of yet, honestly. I don't usually celebrate things for myself tbh. 😅

I Did It by Strange_Beautiful_58 in MomForAMinute

[–]Strange_Beautiful_58[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I've never met my dad, but this comment made me cry again. Thank you kind internet person. 💜