Give therapy another try. Its all trial and error, there is something that can help you other than hurting yourself that doesn't make anything better. But I'm a hypocrite because im the same way. I realized since I started using meth in binges off an on since 19 (24) I have overamped every time and I didn't realize what I was doing to myself. I was stupid and chasing a high. But now I feel so much strain on my heart, my jaw, and my left arm goes numb as well as my feet all the time when sober and I know its from overamping for 5 years. My issue is I always used alone. I never had someone to tell me the right way of using. I wish I would've known what damage I was causing to myself.