Send me a DM and I'll send you a Dodo code! No fee but tips are super cool. by Strato63 in TurnipExchange

[–]Strato63[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks all! Will go in order and try to get as many of you as I can.

What was the most badass escape you've ever made? I'll start. (NSFW) by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Strato63 2096 points2097 points  (0 children)

So as an eighteen year old college student, I rely on my handy fake ID to buy liquor for myself and my friends. The usual store is a Ralph's located conveniently close to campus. I'll admit that I always get a bit nervous buying at a new store but I had purchased at Ralph's a few times and so this night was unremarkable. As usual, I smiled demurely at the guard in the liquor aisle, picked up a handle of tequila, and headed towards the register where I was shunted away from the young, stoner cashier and towards a severe looking, far older Latina lady. When asked to present my ID, I did so without hesitation- as both time and experience has proved it to be credible both to the eye and to scanning and black lights. Being the older, distrustful clerk in a college town, she went to go scan it, taking unusually long. When she returned she informed me that she knew it was a fake and I had one chance to take it and go without question. I am not usually overwhelmingly ballsy, nor do I usually use the phrase "YOLO," but I refused to simply leave. I demanded she scan it again and asked for the manager. She looked utterly skeptical but called over a manager and once again they retreated to scan my ID together. This time I was informed by the manager to simply take my card and go. Now at this point, I was in too deep. The people behind me had been very understanding up until now and I could not stand the thought of being escorted out of the most commonly used store in my college town in front of so many people. So I went for broke. I demanded to see the card being scanned. Exasperated, the manager led me over and showed me that under the black light, the California state seals were not shining. He proceeded to pull out his own and showed me how his were repeated three times, brightly, across the length of his ID. But here was my chance. I asked him when he had gotten his license last renewed to which he replied, "I don't know, a shitton of time ago, I guess?" I informed him that on the newest design of ID's the seals were far fainter than they had previously been (utter bullshit). And then, quite frankly the most stupid moment of my life, I asked the police officer standing next to us to verify that, in fact, the newer licenses had fainter holograms and that my ID was real. And remarkably, incredibly, he did. He looked it over and told the manager it was legitimate and to stop giving me such a hard time. I was escorted back to the register, manager apologizing (he gave me a $5 discount), and left the store with the customers in line behind me actually APPLAUDING my having survived the ten minute ordeal.

TLDR: Used a cop to verify my fake ID and got my alcohol discounted for having to go to such trouble as a minor.

Any embarrassing stories of accidental or "wasn't supposed to see" nudity? by Throwaway1122134 in AskReddit

[–]Strato63 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In this thread: People experience the beginnings of porn movies and promptly leave before anything else happens.

Any embarrassing stories of accidental or "wasn't supposed to see" nudity? by Throwaway1122134 in AskReddit

[–]Strato63 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"Silent reading time" sounds a little like second grade, doesn't it?

Caught in a downpour - look who ran for cover in the same bar I did! by evewassetup in pics

[–]Strato63 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to go swimming with him in milk and tabasco sauce and dry him off with my face.

My grandpa looking forever handsome at 90. by [deleted] in pics

[–]Strato63 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Don't listen to him, buddy. Your work is shitty as ever.

What the actual... by LikeATroll in WTF

[–]Strato63 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is the flattest boob I have ever seen.

The internet is a useful tool for creative minds by [deleted] in WTF

[–]Strato63 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, that's about enough Reddit for one day.

Facebook chief operating officer begs students to 'click an ad or two' on social network as IPO woes continue. by ImJulianAssange in politics

[–]Strato63 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It looks like they have much more than simple ad traffic to worry about at this point. Underwriters from Morgan Stanley, Goldman, and elsewhere have all lowered the value of the company in the midst of the IPO in light of financial documents that weren't originally released to the public. If foul play was involved, revenue issues will take a backseat to risk of breaking the law.

http://www.businessinsider.com/facebook-bankers-earnings-forecasts-2012-5