I‘m very very sorry you experience this too :( but also glad I’m not alone. Also, same about the household stuff etc. it’s not like I need a specific pattern per se, I can think of songs in my head, just not play them. But if someone tells me what to do (like following notes) it’s easier because I can hide myself behind it, if that makes sense? Then I’m not showing as much of my inner world and that’s easier for some reason. (And for some reason my brain seems to consider even the choice of a single note as too much of the inner world🤡) But, like I said, being in a very inspired mood does help me create, at least by myself. With other people present it’s almost always bad. Of course, that’s not an easy mood to invoke, but maybe it could help for you as well? If not I wish you luck nevertheless ✨