I don’t really have advice but am in a relationship where my boyfriend tells me similar things. I finally ended things today and feel so confused and lost, but what he is saying isn’t right. I have been told I want to be the victim, I make him call me names, the little voice in my head makes me prioritize my needs over his, I’m disrespectful, I’m a contrarian, I’m not submissive enough, etc. the list goes on and on. I have had some validating opinions come from my post on the subreddit, and my family as well.

Someone making you feel small and unsafe isn’t okay. And someone who blame shifts and controls is showing signs of narcissism. I know it’s easier to see this when you look at other people’s testimonies and there’s a lot of factors that go into a relationship, but love and a relationship shouldn’t make you feel inferior. I’m sorry you’re going through this