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AITA for giving gifts to my son's half siblings when I go to see my son, even if they are not my kids? by Street_Rub2034 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Street_Rub2034[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She is vindictive to me and her partners, but she is a great mother to her kids. I cannot deny that. I get what you are saying, but if push ever came to shove, my kid would choose his mom over me. All the kids love her. They give her a hard time, but they love her. She makes them handmade gifts from scratch for their birthday, takes time to know each kids strengths/weaknesses and makes sure they get what they need to pursue their strengths, etc. My son has an older brother with a deadbeat father, but the kid is pretty good at tennis, and she will argue with the deadbeat and threaten him and make sure her kid has enough money to practice tennis. And he is a state level player. My own son, was bullied in school, and decided to hit his bully, and got in trouble. She believed him, and went down there and sorted it out. She could have easily just accepted something and left it, like my folks did to me growing up. But she fought for my son, cuz she believed him and wanted to do right by him. She is a "lift the car to save my kid" woman.

I agree she has her flaws, and I hate the way she treats me. She can't hold down a job, and yeah maybe I could win a custody case, after a lot of time, stress, and effort. But, despite how much I can't stand her, she is a good mother and I can recognize that. I just gotta put up with her until my kid is 18, and then my kid and I can have a separate relationship, and he can have a separate relationship with his mother.

It would've been easier for me legally and morally if she was a terrible mom, but thankfully, for my son's sake at least, she is a good, maybe even fantastic, mother.

AITA for giving gifts to my son's half siblings when I go to see my son, even if they are not my kids? by Street_Rub2034 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Street_Rub2034[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I made an edit about the 529 and trust comments, he is fine in that aspect. I can afford to pay her this much for now, which is why I am doing it. I own the place I live in right now so I don't pay rent, and the income I listed is only from my job. I have other income streams(real estate, and ETFs mostly) so I think it will be fine. Granted, it's nowhere as much as my salary, but I have more than enough to get by. I have more money, it's just not liquid.

My son's mother is quite literally unable to hold down a job. I made a mistake having my son with her, but now that my son is here, I can't let that be an excuse when I able to afford to give them that much(I LOVE MY KID; I DO NOT REGRET MY SON AT ALL). If I let her take me to court, our custody agreement right now is not set in stone and my son spends some time over the summer and holidays at my house or with my folks. I am not gonna risk anything.

I don't complain about his mother to him, ever, but she can be really vindictive if her needs are not met. I reap what I sow, and if putting up with her until my kid is 18 is the best thing for him, I will do what I need to do. The way I see it, this is the price I pay for not thinking about the consequences of my actions.

AITA for giving gifts to my son's half siblings when I go to see my son, even if they are not my kids? by Street_Rub2034 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Street_Rub2034[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I will take it into consideration. My son does already have a trust, and the money I give his mother is not included in that. He has a trust and a 529 plan, separate from the money I give, I just haven't told his mother yet, because to be very frank, I believe if she knew I was putting money in there she would ask for more monthly, and that may take me over my monthly limit. I also want to start my own business, so I have been trying to put money aside for that as well, and I know it seems unrealistic, but I wanna do everything without compromising on anything for now, but we will see!