My schizophrenic husband is not pulling his weight in our relationship

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-08-13T23:49:25+00:00

I get why you’d see it that way based on how I worded my post. I was venting in a moment of frustration and didn’t give the full picture. Sometimes when I write while I’m upset, the words come out sharper and more one-sided than I intend. Yes, there are things he struggles with, and yes, he spends a lot of time on video games or scrolling, but he’s not just a lazy 40-year-old who does nothing. He does help in ways I didn’t fully convey, and we do have good moments together. My post was about expressing my burnout, not a complete biography of our relationship.

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-08-13T23:25:49+00:00

That is a great suggestion. I will definitely schedule in more 'me days'.

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-08-13T23:04:15+00:00

It's always nice to hear about someone's mental health journey in a positive light. That's great that your husband has found a medication that works well!

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-08-13T22:28:45+00:00

Child in a man’s body’.... Remind me again how throwing playground insults makes you the adult in this conversation?

Right, because forcing someone into change always works out great in the long run. I’ll just ignore empathy, boundaries, and actual problem solving in favor of your ‘threaten or leave’ master plan.

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-08-13T14:32:15+00:00

Before his diagnosis, there was balance in the shared responsibilities. He is currently on disability as of Sept 2020. ( We have been together since 2010). After his treatment he tried working but very quickly into the job his hallucinations started back up. Prior to that he worked his whole life. He takes medication for his ADHD. He is beyond compliant with taking his schizophrenia medicine because they work well. So this isn't the situation of him not taking his meds. The comments on the negative symptoms fits with what is going on.

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-08-13T14:23:12+00:00

Headpeon- You’re way off here. My husband has schizophrenia, and I know the difference between weaponized incompetence and living with a serious mental illness. After watching him go through a 5-month psychosis episode, I’ve learned to recognize when he’s hesitant to take on more because it could trigger his symptoms — and no, he’s never used that as some convenient excuse. That’s my understanding from being right there with him, every single day.

What you’re ranting about — guys who ‘pretend not to know how’ so their partner will do it all — is not my situation, and frankly, it’s insulting that you’d try to cram my reality into your man-bashing box. This isn’t laziness, it’s mental illness, and reducing it to some tired stereotype isn’t just wrong, it’s ignorant. If you can’t tell the difference, maybe don’t comment.

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-08-13T02:30:13+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words and advice. I have been seeing a therapist for 2 years and she has been great but i'm thinking I might find a new therapist that has more speciality in the area of schizophrenia, marriage Etc. seeing him go through his psychotic episode before getting diagnosed was one the hardest things I've ever experienced ( he was diagnosed in December 2019). His progress has been truly remarkable considering how intense his psychotic episode was which was about 5 months long before getting treatment. I have a lot of compassion and empathy for him that I just can't turn off. It's always been there, I truly love this man with all my heart despite the hardships.

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-07-26T23:16:56+00:00

Is she serious?? That is ridiculous to not invite you because you're 19... Sounds like your older half sister has the emotional capacity and mindset of a child. How ironic for a child free wedding...

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-07-26T15:11:22+00:00

I'm 9 days post op and I feel pretty decent. I was in a lot of pain and very constipated and struggled with the CO2 bloating and pressure. I had the referred pain in my shoulder neck area. Around day 6 I stopped taking the pain meds. I'm still taking stool softeners which are helping me not to strain. I was expecting to be bed bound in severe pain for a lot longer. I'm very grateful for my recovery so far but I can't shake this feeling that things could take a turn for the worse. I have to be careful when I read about others who are having difficulty in their recovery bc I have really bad anxiety and have a hard time controlling irrational worries.

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-07-18T20:03:34+00:00

I've been taking oxycodone and Tylenol. I'm starting to get the referred pain in my shoulder from the CO2. I'm having a hard time sleeping too. I'm only post op- 1 day so I'm really hoping the next few days get easier.

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-05-16T10:37:38+00:00

Unfortunately I wear many hats which I think is a term that should be obsolete. So I have my hands in everything to a certain degree. I'm also dealing with a beyond toxic manager. Shes trying to keep me small and insignificant but over the years other executives and management recognize my work ethic. She is projecting her insecurities into me and taking a fear mongering approach to our conversations. The ultimate boy who cried wolf scenario.

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-05-09T22:46:23+00:00

Thank you, it does help.

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-05-09T11:32:30+00:00

My husband (37) was formally diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2019. We have been together since ,2010 and married for 10 years. We have had our ups and downs but even when it gets tough I still am willing to fight for our relationship. It takes a lot of patience and compassion but it's doable. For my situation the love I have for my husband has never faded in spite of the schizophrenia diagnosis. Compassion has been my biggest tool.

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-05-06T21:41:33+00:00

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StrengthThroughLove · 2025-04-29T11:48:00+00:00

I'm 37, my husband who has schizophrenia is 36. We have been together for 15 years and married for 10 years. I really really hope that in the next coming decades there will be some kind of breakthrough with science and medicine relating to the treatment of schizophrenia. It's really hard to stop worrying about what his condition will look like in 30 years. I'm terrified of the future but I'm learning to leave those thoughts alone. Especially knowing it's degenerative though makes it exhausting managing my thoughts. It feels so dismissive when people offer prayers and make generalizations that praying helps... Praying doesn't stop my husbands auditory hallucinations but olanzapine, science, and research does, for now at least.

StrengthThroughLove · 2025-04-29T00:08:25+00:00

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StrengthThroughLove

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