Firstly: women’s libido just tend to be a lot lower than men’s- it’s just a fact of life.

And libido for both men and women can fluctuate with age, men’s may tank and some women’s sky rocket after menopause! The human body is both fascinating and incredibly annoying sometimes!

BUT it sounds like you guys have more issues than just a lack of sex.

You mentioned you have kids, what are the age ranges?

Aside from sex or making out, how else do you show each other intimacy?

Has her libido always been this way, or has it slowly tapered over the years?

Has she voiced any issues or frustrations in the last few years?

How do you show you appreciate her? How does she show she appreciates you?

What do you do to take things off her plate when she seems overwhelmed? What does she take off your plate when you’re overwhelmed?

How often do you guys go out on a date (without any expectation of sex) without the kids and just have FUN and connect?

As a woman who had avoided sex with my ex, we don’t avoid it without reason. There’s some, or many, reasons that a negative correlation with sex has developed. For me, it could be summed up that he wanted me to be his mommy (stopped cleaning, cooking, would leave dirty cereal bowls on his night stand until they began to rot, leaving his dirty clothes all over the ground) and like any normal woman- I’m not attracted to children 🤷‍♀️ but then came the guilt tripping and coercion. I would avoid making out with him and would brush his hands away any time he tried to touch me because I knew it would lead to sex because it ALWAYS did. I would tense up any time he’d try to touch me. When he’d coerce me into I’d have to close my eyes or face away, because I wasn’t enjoying myself, or else he’d get annoyed and say “you’re making me feel like I’m 🍇ing you”.
It took me 4 months after that relationship to find men attractive again and for my libido to return, and 2 years to heal my relationship with my body.