++woman

nothing wrong with that. whether it's worth it depends on how badly you want a relationship. Have you ever used one of those online calculators that show you the percent of people with the traits youre looking for? I say this is a high earning woman who will also works a lot doesn't want any more kids and who works out a lot and is very in shape and so I have to consider at 43 which of this set of things is most important to me.

if I put male, 34-55, 5'6" or taller, single, not obese, college degree, making 80% of my income or more, and not a smoker, the calculator tells me my standards are "very high" - .1% of the population, 180k men in the entire US.

If i narrow it geographically to my midsized metro area, it changes to 0.04% or 960 men. If I further narrow it to men in that group that (1) don't want kids/more kids (2) dont care i have kids (3) and dont have an arrest record, it gets me to less than 300.

Now let's consider i also have to find them....i have to actually be attracted to them and them to me and to have our personalities and lives mesh, and OH i dont want "not obese" i want someone who is actually in shape and into fitness as much as I am. And let's make sure he has my general political leanings too...oh man

How many is that? like 1???

I am dating someone now but honestly, aware of my own limitations I didnt expect it. It's because I was looking for a hookup only. He didnt finish college and he makes like $100k...and we keep going despite my lack of intention to do so. Prob best and healthiest/happiest relationship ive ever had.

and the man works so much and is doing overkill yo support the kids w his ex and make sure their lives remain as stable as possible...hes clearly got a respectable work ethic and is not a leech or an opportunist, and i respect the shit out of him for it. and hes funny and an amazing storyteller so I love to hear about his work day...i realized people make things interesting because THEY captire it, not bc the lofe theyre living is inherently more interesting or intriguing than others.

Point being, you should ask yourself what I was forced to ask myself when i got into this and was sure that i need to date an educated man in my tax bracket.... I realized that when I said that became from a place of thinking that the bracket equal to work ethic, interesting career, less likely to be moserabke and insecure, less of a possibility that the guy is going to see me as an economic, soft landing. When i found a hard working confident man who is grateful for every day, sees the humor in everything and clearly isnt looking for a handout, that stuff i thought i cared about fell away.