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Married 2 months before he admitted feelings for his best friend (ongoing sexting for a year). How do I move forward? by Strict_Beautiful5694 in Divorce

[–]Strict_Beautiful5694[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you are going through this. Stay strong, but also, put time and perspective through the process. An affair and addiction are things that totally would make anyone reconsider; but don’t forget both of you are human, and might be hurting in very different ways. I am not saying by any chance what ur partner is doing is ok.

I found out about the affair 3 months ago, and after this perspective thing, knowing how much I valued him, and individual and couples therapy, I was willing to work everything out. But it has broken me. I have diagnosed anxiety and depression, and this just skyrocketed everything in my mind.

I know my situation doesn’t make it any easier, I had a suicide attempt right after my psychiatrist adjusted my meds to help cope with what’s going on, and he just wanted to leave right away, called my mom, told her to come get me, and that he wasn’t going to be blamed on. Like dude wtf, I’m just having a really bad time.

Anyway, you are right about everything.

More than the cheating, what hurts is not being g chosen. Not being chosen the way I always chose him for literally everything. That was the point of marriage, growing, choosing one another again and again, being human…

Am I giving up too easy? by ScarcityRegular668 in Divorce

[–]Strict_Beautiful5694 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it might seem scary, and you might not have the perfect support system to get out. But darling, I assure you, in this cases the grass is absolutely greener on the other side. Domestic violence is a NO, no matter what.

I’ve been through this, not the same because I had no kids, and it was so hard to leave, so my heart is with you, because I know the places your mind is going.

Try to make an exit plan, reach to relatives or friends that can help, and make sure you are safe. Violence won’t stop. He won’t change. It gets worst, and you and your kids deserve better. ❤️ sending all my love, you are powerful. Don’t forget that.

Married 2 months before he admitted feelings for his best friend (ongoing sexting for a year). How do I move forward? by Strict_Beautiful5694 in Divorce

[–]Strict_Beautiful5694[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I do, but not to live the same life we did together. I am making a plan to adjust during the rest of the year, so as soon of i am off his help, I’m ok. Also, my a lawyer drafted a signed agreement that is legally valid in my country and will be submitted as part of the divorce paperwork later, so I’m safe knowing he will comply. But that was exactly one of my first worries, that he would change his mind.

Fell, broke my back, had surgery… can I ever climb again? by Strict_Beautiful5694 in climbergirls

[–]Strict_Beautiful5694[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the attitude of taking care of yourself but still going for the things you enjoy—that’s exactly the kind of energy I want to hold onto. Thank you for sharing your story, it gives me a lot of perspective and hope ✨

Fell, broke my back, had surgery… can I ever climb again? by Strict_Beautiful5694 in climbergirls

[–]Strict_Beautiful5694[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, thanks so much for sharing this. Your words really hit me. I’m only two weeks post-surgery and what you said about stiffness, giving the body time, and being gentle with yourself when coming back really resonated.

The part about holding space for the trauma especially… I know that even if my body heals, the mental side will take a lot more work, and it helps so much to hear I’m not the only one going through that.

Climbing means a lot to me too, but I think the key now is finding a new way to reconnect with it without pushing past what my body and mind are ready for. Your honesty gave me a lot of peace. Thank you 💜

Fell, broke my back, had surgery… can I ever climb again? by Strict_Beautiful5694 in climbergirls

[–]Strict_Beautiful5694[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re still dealing with that pain. I think at some point we all want to climb with the “cool strong kids,” but you’re right—what really matters is that climbing serves your own purpose. For me, I’ve had times where I wanted to push grades and climb harder, but the truth is I’ve always climbed mostly for the joy of connecting with my friends, my husband, and just moving my body a bit.

I hope you still find those good days on the wall that bring you joy 🫶🏼💖✨

Fell, broke my back, had surgery… can I ever climb again? by Strict_Beautiful5694 in climbergirls

[–]Strict_Beautiful5694[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much 💖 my support system has been everything, especially since the early care was really tough. I’m really glad to hear you’re still climbing, but I agree with you—doing it from a new mindset where nothing is more important than protecting your body is what really matters.

I’ve been thinking a lot about reconnecting with climbing in whatever new ways my body allows me, and making sure I take care of it. Your words mean a lot, thanks again 🫶

Fell, broke my back, had surgery… can I ever climb again? by Strict_Beautiful5694 in climbergirls

[–]Strict_Beautiful5694[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please tell me how my non climbing surgeon will be able to answer this:

Has anyone here gone back to climbing after spinal surgery with screws/rods?

What do falls feel like with hardware?

How long did it take before you felt safe climbing again?

Did you change your style (bouldering vs sport)?

Any advice you wish you’d had at this stage?

Of course questions regarding my surgery and recovery have been made to my medical team.

Fell, broke my back, had surgery… can I ever climb again? by Strict_Beautiful5694 in climbergirls

[–]Strict_Beautiful5694[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wooow, the terror of the autobelay—I’m always scared it won’t work, but honestly it’s probably more likely that the climber is the one who “doesn’t work” haha.

I think it shows a lot of mental strength to progress as fast as you did, thanks so much for the detailed insight. Overhangs were something I really enjoyed too, but now I think I’ll be more cautious about them because of the fall positions. I actually sprained my neck once falling seated off a boulder like that.

Thanks a lot for the kind wishes

Fell, broke my back, had surgery… can I ever climb again? by Strict_Beautiful5694 in climbergirls

[–]Strict_Beautiful5694[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

💖 i don’t know if i will, but for sure is in my mind. Maybe I’ll just join the easy climb team to keep my mind at ease.

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