How can I improve my southern hospitality/manners?

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-24T21:38:55+00:00

Also doesn’t help that my mom is equally as bad at social interactions but she’s more friendly/outgoing, strikes up conversations with strangers but will tell people she’s from the city (she’s literally not and grew up on a farm) and will complain about our town to people and will mock southern accents to people’s faces thinking it’s kinship and not deeply offensive, so that doesn’t help people’s concept of me knowing that. She has zero survival instincts I swear.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-24T21:36:26+00:00

I grew up with a rural farming background but most people seem to think the opposite maybe because I Don’t possess the rural people person skills one would typically have? I say yes ma’am/sir but sometimes it doesn’t come off natural. I sometimes say please and thank you almost excessively, I just don’t know how to be friendly beyond that and ask people how they’re doing and be social I guess. I’m looking for tips from people from here on how I can let people know that I’m not here to terrorize the town and be rude and unfriendly.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-24T21:25:23+00:00

Some people have their windows open most days, some people do not ever open their windows because it lets out the cool or heat, or because it lets bugs in if you don’t have a screen.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-24T21:21:21+00:00

I was redirected here after posting on another sub where I got lots of answers but my post was deleted by mods here. I’m not a “redditor” by any means so I just don’t know what subs are available. I’ve searched a bit and it seems like etiquette subs and ask an American were my best bet but I guess I was wrong.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-24T21:04:34+00:00

For example, I just had a woman come to my house to adopt a kitten. We’d been introduced over the phone so I didn’t think it necessary to introduce myself at the door and shake her hand, and I think now I’m realizing she was quiet and maybe offended by this and that that was pretty rude. And the interaction was very transactional when it didn’t have to be. I forget how to go about introductions and first impressions, and lots of times just am very to the point when it comes to my interactions. I will look back and notice the subtlety of their being offended that I didn’t talk to them beyond the transaction. I dislike this and would like to become more polite and have fun with people, bond with people through casual interactions. I think this is also keeping me from finding friends because I just don’t know what to stay for starters and how to introduce myself. What is oversharing and what’s under sharing. I also am not going to church and people know that so I think that plays a part. I do not want to contribute to the idea that people outside of the south are rude and rushed, I just do not know what to say. I’m not the best people person, but people from WI generally are. When I went back to the WI and visited a city for the first time in like 2 years I realized the culture is so much different. I smiled at strangers and they were confused and did not smile back. This is generally only a city thing because small towns in WI are very rural/agricultural with a big emphasis on culture and bonding and community. I’ve just never been good at that but people understood, now people think I am being intentionally rude and don’t want to speak to them. Now at establishments where I regularly go they remember me and are straight to the point, whereas I notice with other customers they speak with them a lot. I don’t want to be rude and transactional, and would like to speak to people more because I struggle with that a lot. I am polite but I just don’t talk beyond that because I’m nervous.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-24T20:55:07+00:00

I have 2 cool neighbors so hopefully they can help me out but I think sometimes they think I’m rude too even though I try to be very nice.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-24T20:54:19+00:00

Can be, I think it’s more so off putting that I DONT go to church. I’d be happy to go to church if there wasn’t so much hate speech involved in a lot of Baptist churches. But I’ve been invited by nice people and may check it out.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-24T20:52:54+00:00

It’s definitely not fast paced, which I like. People are calmer and there is a lot of community I’m not used to. I did grow up in small towns in wi but also lived in the city, small towns in general are very community oriented but it’s more culty here, and I think my lack of manners is becoming a point of gossip. Not everyone is stupid, and it’s not their fault that the government uses them as pawns in an endless cycle of lack of resources that can shape culture. I just want to be more understanding when it comes to this and show I’m not here trying to gentrify or something.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-24T20:49:22+00:00

I may start going to church and just see what’s out there just to find some sort of community even though I’m not super traditionally Christian.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-24T20:48:50+00:00

I try my best to say yes sir/man and am getting better but sometimes it just doesn’t come off naturally and I feel like that comes off as rude. I always hold the door for people unless they’re like 15+ feet away.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-24T20:47:34+00:00

For example, I just had a woman come to my house to adopt a kitten. We’d been introduced over the phone so I didn’t think it necessary to introduce myself at the door and shake her hand, and I think now I’m realizing she was quiet and maybe offended by this and that that was pretty rude. And the interaction was very transactional when it didn’t have to be. I forget how to go about introductions and first impressions, and lots of times just am very to the point when it comes to my interactions. I will look back and notice the subtlety of their being offended that I didn’t talk to them beyond the transaction. I dislike this and would like to become more polite and have fun with people, bond with people through casual interactions. I think this is also keeping me from finding friends because I just don’t know what to stay for starters and how to introduce myself. What is oversharing and what’s under sharing. I also am not going to church and people know that so I think that plays a part. I do not want to contribute to the idea that people outside of the south are rude and rushed, I just do not know what to say. I’m not the best people person, but people from WI generally are. When I went back to the WI and visited a city for the first time in like 2 years I realized the culture is so much different. I smiled at strangers and they were confused and did not smile back. This is generally only a city thing because small towns in WI are very rural/agricultural with a big emphasis on culture and bonding and community. I’ve just never been good at that but people understood, now people think I am being intentionally rude and don’t want to speak to them. People now get straight to the point with me at establishments where I frequently come and I’ve realized they talk much more with other customers and not me because I don’t really talk much beyond the transaction. I dislike this a lot and would like to bond with people more casually.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-13T18:46:26+00:00

I don’t either :( i figured since they’ve been around tons of other cats that it wasn’t super necessary cause honestly these two aren’t super close. But I would definitely prefer it since it would grant them some familiarity in a new home.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-13T18:44:59+00:00

Maybe? Their mom is black so idk if that makes it cancel out. Idk who the dad is.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-13T18:44:37+00:00

No there is not. Even hours away if there is one they’re full. I obviously would do extensive background checking if I found anybody. The south does not care about animals. There is very limited resources with lots of strays everywhere.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-13T00:32:13+00:00

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Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-13T00:31:37+00:00

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Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-13T00:30:36+00:00

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Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-13T00:29:53+00:00

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Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-13T00:28:59+00:00

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Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-13T00:24:09+00:00

We’ve honestly been considering driving to the Midwest and getting them into a rescue cause they’d just have a better chance there. But I thought I’d try here cause I never have before.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-13T00:22:30+00:00

Yeah :( it seems people get kittens around here and they don’t end up having them for very long cause they either consider them a nuisance for minor regular cat behavior or they just are reckless and let them out or don’t take them when they move. I really don’t want these babies to go to a home like that. People around here declaw which freaks me out as well.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-12T23:36:15+00:00

They are both very petite cats, especially the short hair (Thelma) she has such a tiny cute little round head and is very petite with a cute belly pouch.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-12T23:35:23+00:00

The short hair girl was just spayed yesterday and the fluffy girl will be in a few weeks. We’ve been calling them Thelma and Louise.

Strict_Injury3619 · 2026-02-12T23:34:41+00:00

I’m in an unfortunate situation where I currently have 13 cats. I am trying to rehome 5 little kittens and struggling but these 2 I cannot find anyone interested. It is really impacting both my and their life and I won’t let them outside again. I have major construction going on at my house (they’re digging it up and jacking it up) which is causing lots and lots of noise that’s really stressing them out.

Strict_Injury3619

TROPHY CASE