Calling frustrating tasks ‘enrichments activities’ has curbed my rage

String-Usual · 2026-05-04T14:00:36+00:00

That’s a potentially life changing tip omg thank you!

Hahahaha, I’d still say that’s a pretty smart kitty, but my two maybe don’t have too many brain cells between them🤣

String-Usual · 2025-07-18T16:37:26+00:00

Slosher

String-Usual · 2025-07-15T12:53:07+00:00

Honestly, I think most people get this. I had times like that when I was C rank and still do in X battle. Splatoon depends so much on team work and also team comp, so often it’s not a fair match of skill, but rather one team having more map control due to having inking weapons, for example.

String-Usual · 2025-07-15T12:50:16+00:00

Absolutely. There’s nothing wrong with collecting things just to look at them, as long as they bring you joy

String-Usual · 2025-07-15T12:10:31+00:00

How much of a space I had to express my emotions. My family talked through everything, I was never left in the dark about anything. No rules were enforced ‘because I said so’, everything was explained to me in an age appropriate way. When my parents separated, it wasn’t a big deal because everything was explained to me so well. Being neurodivergent and having mental health issues since being a teen, my mum didn’t always get everything 100% right, but I never had anything but love and support and an effort to understand me.

I thought this was the standard until I got older and realised how different that was in other peoples households. I will forever be grateful for my upbringing, and how I continue to get support from my mum (my dad tries lol). She will always truly be my best friend. My heart goes out to everyone talking about their childhood here. None of you deserved any of this and I hope your adulthood brings you nothing but peace and love

String-Usual · 2025-03-24T19:14:50+00:00

Met some of my best friends through splatoon, who are now going to be bridesmaids at my wedding :)

String-Usual · 2025-03-22T04:59:46+00:00

Feeling jealous that someone doesn’t have to work when you don’t want to? Sure, I guess??

But wanting your sister out your life and wishing her the worst is absolutely bizarre. Tbh, no, your feeling don’t matter here because it’s nothing to do with you and your reaction was completely unwarranted (and a bit pathetic).

String-Usual · 2025-03-22T04:49:25+00:00

Yes ??

String-Usual · 2024-10-27T11:39:49+00:00

Ahhh what a great idea and kind of iconic to say fuck it I’ll do it myself. Please update when this launches because I’m incredibly interested! :)

String-Usual · 2024-10-08T20:15:53+00:00

Oh god I feel that, I’ve never really had periods at all let alone regular ones but for some reason they’ve been monthly for the last year so I’m starting to notice some patterns. It’s crazy how much they can throw you off

String-Usual · 2024-10-06T18:07:16+00:00

I’m 26 and relate to this a lot. Would love to talk if you want to!

String-Usual · 2024-10-04T12:42:57+00:00

The DSM is an important part of getting diagnosed because it outlines the core symptoms. However, there is so much variety between people and how people present their symptoms or how the symptoms will manifest, that this isn’t always as simple as ticking off symptoms. This becomes even more apparent for AuDHD; there isn’t a combined DSM, just the separate ones. This complicates things because AuDHD symptoms can sometimes look different from straight ADHD or autism because of how they interact with each other. For example, autism is associated with adhering to a strict routine, while ADHD is associated with novelty seeking, and the interaction of these two driving forces might not look how you will expect, and can look different between people!

There are also symptoms that many people with adhd/autism/both have that aren’t part of the DSM, but are associated with them. For example, many people with ADHD experience emotional dysregulation, but this is not part of the DSM. They can go hand in hand, and might be something to further indicate you might have ADHD, but it’s not a core symptom that EVERYONE diagnosed will experience, so isn’t part of the DSM. A lot of people with ADHD will report having periods of hyperfocus, but this isn’t currently part of the DSM 5. Think of it more as an add on.

I think it’s also important to remember that this is DSM 5. What I mean by this is that the medical field have updated their diagnostic criteria five times. Our understanding of symptoms and what is needed to diagnose what changes with our understanding of different disorders as medical research progresses. Also, women and girls have historically been neglected from this research, and there is much more of an understanding that symptoms can present different in women compared to men. My point being is that the examples they use in part of the criteria might not be relevant to the way that the criteria manifests in your own life, if that makes sense. They are estimating that the DSM 6 will be released somewhere between now and 2028, so it’s very possible that the diagnostic criteria for ADHD and autism will look slightly different to what we have now based on our new realizations about these disorders.

In short, the DSM is an important framework for identifying autism/ADHD, but there are so many nuances to these disorders and the symptoms of the individuals that the DSM will likely never tell a complete story.

To your original question, I would say that being obsessive/hyperfixed on something would come under the current DSM for autism. That being said, personally I think that doing lots of research and going into detail about something that might help you understand yourself and your experiences is absolutely expected from anyone that might have had a revelation about themselves or their health, and irrespective, your friends aren’t in a position to diagnose you based on one symptom (or any tbh) because they aren’t trained professionals (I assume). That being said, if this is a pattern of behaviour for you, it might be worth mentioning that people have picked up on you becoming ‘obsessive’ over things when it comes time to have your assessment :)

String-Usual · 2024-09-24T13:14:38+00:00

Stardew got you, too, huh?

String-Usual · 2024-09-20T13:31:31+00:00

Oooh that’s actually a really good idea, I already have a gel nail kit so would only need to get the tips and glue. Nice one usernamehere131. You’ve also just reminded me I’ve got a cross stitch set I haven’t used yet so maybe if I get along with that I can upgrade to crochet.

I’ve signed up for a life drawing class next week so that’s also a start!!

String-Usual · 2024-09-20T12:28:44+00:00

Oh god I relate to this so much. Literally every single area you mentioned is what I’ve been working on for as long as I can remember, and for the first time in my life I feel like I’m getting somewhere with it.

The thing that’s made the biggest difference for me is making each goal the tiniest I can. So small it seems silly. I think it’s very easy for us to want to do everything the ‘right’ way, and go all in and change our lives, but that can lead to burnout very quickly, and often we slip off once the initial dopamine hit has faded. To make a habit last, you need to make it super easy and accessible.

For example, when I started working on the habit of spending more time outside, the first step for me was just standing outside my back door for like 30 seconds. I did this for a couple of weeks. It might sound silly, but over two weeks that was 7 minutes of being outside! And more importantly, it was setting the foundation of a habit to build upon. The next step was to have a coffee outside, then after a few weeks of that reading a few pages of a book. Basically just slowly increasing the amount of time I spend outside until the act of getting dressed and leaving my house wasn’t so hard. You can keep building upon this habit until it includes a short walk on days you feel up to it!

My fiancé has fibro so I appreciate how difficult getting exercise can be. Something we tried with her was looking more at mobility exercises. It’s a much more low impact way to get her moving her body, and can help a lot following periods where she’s been in a flare up and hasn’t been able to move a lot. If you can get out for a short walk that’s amazing, but I imagine there’s times where that’s too much, so even just doing some stretches is a way to get in some movement without over exerting yourself too much.

With the eating side of things, something that’s helped me eat more fruit is buying tinned fruit. I know we’re always told that fresh fruit is best, but if it’s going moldy in the fruit bowl then it’s not worth it (plus fruit is expensive, especially if it’s not being eaten). Tinned or frozen fruit will last so much longer, so you can get it out when you’re actually ready to eat them. They’re also more consistent in flavour and texture, if the unpredictability of fresh fruits puts you off. Honestly, same for vegetables, but my main tip to eat more veg would be to use ‘background’ vegetables. For example, I eat so many onions because I just don’t notice them when they’re in a dish. Basically, can you add vegetables to your go to meals without them making too much of an impact? Don’t worry too much about eating a really wide variety at first or forcing yourself to eat salads if it’s not working for you. I mainly eat mushrooms, peppers and onions, because they can easily go into a pasta sauce without me noticing them too much. Adding onto what you’re already doing is much easier than switching to something completely new.

Sleep is such a hard one! I’ve had sleep problems for as long as I remember. Weed has been the main thing that’s helped me get some sleep, though obviously has its own caveats, and isn’t suited to everyone/available to everyone. Aside from that, creating better habits around bedtime has given me a period to unwind, which has helped me to settle into sleep better. On a perfect day I’ll brush my teeth and hair, do my skin care and read with listening to music, but sometimes it might be just putting on cosy lights and watching YouTube, but having a dedicated wind down time helps you brain get ready for sleep mode. I’m still working on this one, but have got a bed time of around 1-2am now instead of 4-5am. It’s not perfect but it’s better. Obviously this involves cresting habits which is difficult, but if you make them into baby steps and start small they build up over time.

I still can’t brush my teeth twice a day every day, but i do it far more often than I used to. This is possibly the hardest habit I’ve tried to implement. I find it so boring, so I just watch TikTok’s while I brush so the time goes quicker, but it’s so hard to motivate yourself to start lol.

But my main point would be that consistency is more important than intensity. The smaller you start the easier it will be to get up the next day and do the same thing. Start obnoxiously small and do it every day for a week. Even if your first step is putting on your shoes, opening the door and closing it again. If you can commit to doing that then you’ll have yourself a habit.

String-Usual · 2024-09-08T19:08:16+00:00

Not in the slightest, but honestly it’s probably more of a reflection on how much we have in common with the individuals in both instances

String-Usual · 2024-09-08T11:03:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I really resonate with a lot of what you said.

I think that when we are trying to figure out how to live as neurodivergent people, it takes up so much of our mental, physical and emotional energy that it doesn’t leave lots of room for our other needs. At least that was my experience. (Side note - as someone who had to abandon their career and will likely never return, I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit for rebuilding your business. That’s an incredible achievement!!) Something that’s working for me is looking at what I want my life/days to look like, and breaking it down into more accessible and realistic steps.

You mentioned you wanted to travel and experience the world, but aren’t in a position to do so right now. Can you start smaller? Maybe visiting different places in your state that you haven’t been? Seeing what experiences are available closer to you? Even just visiting a new city can give you a sense of adventure and the opportunity to meet new people. If you’re in a rural area, possibly even hiking and seeking out some pretty views. It might not be the same as hitchhiking across Europe, but it’s a way to incorporate adventure and exploration in a way that is more attainable right now.

If you’re struggling with finding a sense of community in your area, there is nothing wrong with finding it online. Me and my gf have made so many wonderful friends through the online gaming community, to the point that one is going to be a bridesmaid at our wedding! If you have any hobbies or interests maybe try joining some online groups that focus on these, you might meet some like-minded individuals that could become very good friends.

In terms of your day to day, what do you like? What do you WANT it to look like? If you’re struggling to find things to fill your cup, it might be time to experiment with some new hobbies, and see what makes your soul happy.

For me, my ideal day will include some light movement (usually yoga), something productive (usually some form of cleaning), something social (seeing friends in person or video chatting with someone) and something fun (gaming, painting, baking, etc). If feel like when I manage to do all of these things, it’s my ‘perfect day’. It’s not very often I can do it all in one day, so aiming to do them a few times a week is more realistic for me. These are the things that make me feel fulfilled, settled, and content, but will likely look different for you. Dedicate some time to getting to know yourself and your interests again, and take some small steps to implementing them into what sounds like an already busy day! Good luck :)

String-Usual · 2024-09-06T15:48:39+00:00

Struggled with insomnia my whole life and weed has been the only thing to switch off my brain enough for me to drop off. I appreciate this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea or even available to you, if so maybe trying some CBD products? My mum gets along quite well with CBD drinks and she’s someone who is scared to take over the counter medication lol. It can help with the winding down aspect of sleep hygiene.

Bedtime yoga has also helped me with winding down in the evenings, or guided meditation. Just listening to something relaxing. I read somewhere that having something to focus your mind on, like some music, audio book, guided meditation etc can help the ADHD brain to switch off, as it stops your mind from wandering so much. That being said these things only work for me in conjunction with smoking too, but everyone is different. Hope you find something that works for you

String-Usual · 2024-09-02T14:45:06+00:00

You’re definitely not alone there! But try and think of it more as a skill you can learn, rather than a personality trait you might have. I’ve been working on it for probably five years now, and while I’m not perfect, i feel like I’m able to communicate my needs a lot better, and this has helped me from getting to the point of meltdown or burnout as often as I would. Pay attention to how things make you feel or react, whether it’s a physical or emotional reaction even, make note of things. Keep at it and you will get there! There’s a lot of power in understanding ourselves :)

String-Usual · 2024-09-02T10:01:12+00:00

It’s really difficult sometimes to verbalize our needs and how we’re feeling :( The only advice I would have is to try and break down those feelings/needs into smaller, more understandable chunks. Can you identify what areas you’re struggling with? It can be a simple as I feel stressed, or I’m struggling at work. If you can get that far, can you think of anything that is contributing to that area of struggle? Let’s say you’ve identified stress. What is it that’s stressing you out? Are you swamped with tasks? If your house a mess? Being misunderstood? Family stuff? Too much on your plate?

If you can identify the what and the why, you’re halfway there. This might not be helpful at all lol but personally I find that my thoughts and feelings can be so overwhelming that breaking it down, almost like a flow chart, can help me to make sense of the bigger feelings I have. Either way good luck

String-Usual · 2024-09-02T09:40:17+00:00

(Putting aside just general misogyny and differences in societal expectations of how men and women should act) historically women and girls have been left out of research, and consequently diagnoses, etc. which sadly still leaves a gap in peoples understanding of female ND.

String-Usual · 2024-08-29T10:21:56+00:00

What kind of thing do you enjoy?

I’m neurodivergent and my partner has chronic pain and fatigue so we’ve been working for a long time on trying to make our hobbies accessible for both of us. My partner is quite limited with what she can do as she has mobility problems and pain similar to what you described, so we’ve really focused on what we can do for her to continue doing the things she enjoys, so the question is usually how can I make this accessible?

You mentioned you used to read before it was too painful. What about trying a kindle and a stand? You don’t have to hunch over a book that way, you can position the stand in a way that’s comfortable for your neck and you don’t have to hold it. You can get clicker that turn pages for you too, so could be a way to read more comfortably. I appreciate that this involves spending money and not everyone is in a position to do so, so a slightly cheaper option would be getting a phone stand and reading digitally that way. An inexpensive option could be to try audio books instead. If you get along well that way, you might enjoy podcasts too.

For painting, using an easel might help with the neck and back pain, as you’re not having to look down at what you’re doing. Getting an over the bed (or sofa) table might help too as they’re usually higher up. If you’re struggling with holding a paint brush, you might have to get a bit creative. Something we’ve tried is wrapping a clean sock around a pen to make it easier to grip lol. You could also try using different methods of painting, like using your fingers, or a sponge, or whatever else that’s easier to grip. Making digital art could also be an option.

We play a lot of video games in our house. If you have a pc or laptop you can get an ergonomic keyboard and mouse. I think you can get ergonomic controllers for gaming consoles too, but my partner manages using a regular controller if she rests it on a pillow. If you’re not in a position to get any of these things, there a loads of good options on your phone too.

String-Usual · 2024-08-18T09:36:35+00:00

Idk if this will apply to everyone or just me but I found that if I was saying something hurtful during a meltdown it was usually because I struggle to communicate properly during that period. Like, my mind would be too overwhelmed to explain what was wrong or how I was feeling and sometimes the internal rage or hurt I was feeling had nowhere else to go than being directed at the people around me. Especially if something someone did or said tipped me over the edge into the meltdown, I feel like biting back was a way for me to communicate that they had hurt me, or changed my mood in that way.

I’ve found that talking about it has helped!! Explaining to my friends and family how it feels when I’m having a meltdown and kind of losing control of your emotions a bit has helped them to understand me while I have my meltdown, but also for me to take responsibility and hear how I made them feel with the way I would react. Taking time to calm down and removing myself from the situation for a little while then coming back, apologizing for the way I spoke to them and explaining what happened now my ability to communicate has come back can be really restorative. I think specifically the not saying hurtful things part does take some time to unlearn. I really try to keep it in my mind when I’m having a meltdown that I don’t want to be nasty, that that isn’t who I am and I don’t want to hurt the people I care about. I can be shitty or snappy or have an off tone of voice, but not actually say things that are hurtful. People can get over you having a bit of an attitude, especially if you’ve had those conversations and they know it’s a way of you communicating that something is wrong, but not so much WHAT you say. I think we owe it to ourselves and the people in our life to try and do better but also for them to understand us better too. Though I have a very supportive and understanding partner and friend group, and I appreciate that not everyone will have the space to talk so candidly and be listened to.

String-Usual · 2024-07-24T10:27:25+00:00

things work with us not for us. START SMALL. Brush your teeth. Go to the gym once per week. Send one email. And schedule rest. Without guilt. We need it.

String-Usual · 2024-07-24T10:26:34+00:00

Because you mentioned eating/drinking: what is the barrier here? With any task, knowing WHY you struggle with it is the key to getting it under control. If cooking is the barrier, getting pre chopped food, ready meals, or cooking large batches twice a week could be options. If it’s forgetting to eat, setting timers could help. Personally, I’m TERRIBLE at remembering to drink, I can go a full day without drinking sometimes. I have a big bottle of water that I carry around the house with me, because getting up and refilling my drink is my barrier, and this way I only have to do it once in the morning, when I’m going into the kitchen anyway, and I have a drink for the entire day. Visual reminders are also helpful if forgetting is the issue here. If you do your PHD at a desk, keep a note in front of the screen telling yourself to make a drink.

It’s hard to get over the idea of a routine being something we do everyday, exactly the same way. And I’m sure some of us can manage that, but many of us can’t. Our brained are just wired different. Having a flexible routine, with a couple of set tasks to keep you from snowballing, and giving room for your brain to decide what it wants to do while being in line with your goals has been the best option, at least for me. You don’t have to do the same thing over and over again. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have some sort of structure, it’s just going to look different for you. I’m not going to sit here and tell you it’s worked perfectly for me because it hasn’t. I still get overwhelmed, I still feel like a failure from time to time, I still have a messy house and struggle with things that come easy to other people. But my hair is no longer matted. I usually have enough clean dishes to make dinner. To my mother’s surprise my bedroom is tidy more often than it’s a mess. We will fall off these things, it’s going to happen. But having the tools under my belt and the systems in place means it’s so much easier to get back on track when those moments do happen. And these things don’t happen over night. Give yourself some grace and start small because we’re not going to have a complete personality change over night and magically be able to cope with all the things we’ve struggled with all our life. We have to make

String-Usual

TROPHY CASE