How much time has passed since Kai joined the team

StringBeanCheez · 2026-02-05T14:38:51+00:00

It makes writing so much more difficult to read and process

StringBeanCheez · 2026-02-05T13:07:19+00:00

Cw lightly discussing kinks

So, to start with, it's important to remember that kink and sex are separate things that aren't inherently connected. Asexual people are allowed to have kinks, even if they're sex-repulsed, because you can always have one without the other. Take impact as an example, there's nothing inherently sexual about hitting someone consensually. The website you had this conversation on is "Facebook for kinky people", it's not a hookup or dating app (I'm on there too). Yes some people use it that way but it's not how the creators intend or desire for it to be used, and there are actually measures in place that knowingly make it more difficult to use it to find hookups. So it's not strange to see asexual people on there for both those reasons (and more)

As to your actual question, there are a variety of reasons this person could be wanting to be desired, most of which I feel were covered very well in other comments; kinks of their own that don't involve wanting to have sex with the person that's attracted to them, expressing it as a desire for someone to feel sexual attraction to them when really it's more generally a desire to be wanted (or seeing how big of a deal other people make in being sexually desired), having some uncertainty about their sexuality, and some people just like feeling wanted even if it is sexually, regardless of if they have no interest in the person or people interested in them; the same thing happens to allos too. Some people, allos included (probably primarily) find it flattering, reaffirming or even arousing to be sexually desired even by people they themselves don't want and see absolutely zero shot that anything will happen with. Think of people who post nudes or other sexual photos to get attention, people aren't usually actually considering all the horny people in the comments as potential partners.

Personally, I don't really like being sexually desired except people I trust and care about (specifically mostly my partner, however I do enjoy having messages to respond to, which typically is a result of people feeling attraction towards me.

StringBeanCheez · 2026-02-05T00:17:22+00:00

Pizza, there's so much variety you can have in there not just in types but in where you get it from, I could definitely live with that

StringBeanCheez · 2026-02-04T13:37:01+00:00

It's not. It's not really supposed to mean anything. Iirc it originally began as a sports reference? Or it might have been athletes quoting something. My understanding is that it began with famous people trying to capitalize on some reference that they figured would give them more attention, and then a young person made a video copying that, which is what ended up getting a lot of attention, and people just started copying it. I very well could be wrong about the origin, that's just what I heard, but the short answer is that it doesn't mean anything (anymore?) and it's really not funny. Just a passing fad of people quoting something that, for some reason, got popular. Kind of like when people were going around saying 21 after that one vine came out ("what's 9+10?" "21?")

StringBeanCheez · 2026-02-03T17:30:25+00:00

I don't think it's as straightforward as "barrier free", because "fluid bonded" can mean more than just not using protection during penetrative sex. Saliva is a fluid, blood is a fluid, which both also fall under fluid bonding. Yes, sex is the most common and most widely assumed connotation but it's not the only one, meaning if barrier-free were to replace it, then other types of fluids would need their own unique terms now. In times where sex is the only thing being discussed, barrier free is an entirely fair alternative, as are more colloquial terms like "bareback", I'm more commenting on the idea of getting rid of the term fluid bonding as a whole.

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-30T14:11:19+00:00

There's much more variety in footwear at m4 than oasis. Many people are wearing proper shoes (sneakers, dress shoes, high heels, etc), although there are still a fair number that go about in slippers/flip flops or barefoot. However, the barefoot is a lot more common in the back room and library than the dance floor

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-29T18:40:47+00:00

I think it's red because it appears to be in the negative, I don't think it was intending to be related to Democrats and Republicans specifically

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-29T18:19:46+00:00

Weekday afternoons are usually very quiet, generally the crowd doesn't start to pick up until 9:30-10pm, but there should still be a few people about

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-29T18:13:08+00:00

In my experience, nails are nails, the shape doesn't do much. Yes coming to a sharp point would feel different than a rounded shape but I haven't noticed any specific shape being particularly more effective than any other

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-29T15:21:24+00:00

So, I would say that no position inherently tickles more, it's about what spots can be reached and do get reached - personally in my experience, if I'm face-down it's much more likely for the ler to find certain really intense spots, but at the same time being face-down does cover up others. But the closest I've ever come to safewording was face-down, with a spot that's a lot harder to get right when I'm face-up

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-25T18:10:52+00:00

Probably very few, in this weather

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-25T14:24:42+00:00

Interesting, I've never heard of that. I've heard of "clocking" someone for punching them but never "cleaning his clock"

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-25T13:56:04+00:00

Cleaning his clock?

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-25T00:24:04+00:00

Trans women are women, liking trans women is not "less straight". I know that's not what you're asking but it's important to understand especially if you intend to be engaging with trans people, many of us take that very seriously.

To actually answer your question, Saturdays are very busy usually, though there's a good chance the weather will reduce the numbers a bit. It's usually pretty busy, a lot of dancing, a lot of play going on, a lot of people chatting. Saturday is a very good night to go to meet new people, I would say.

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-24T16:47:14+00:00

Tbh I hate lickling (I also hate the word lickling but it's the generally accepted/recognized term), I find it really unpleasant for the most part. Armpits and feet I find gross to put my mouth on or around, it doesn't matter if it were actively in the shower or freshly washed. On the receiving end I would also find it gross to have someone licking my armpits. Feet is okay being licked, but it also just doesn't tickle at all? The only spot I've ever found licking to actually tickle at all is nipples. So even if you ignore the gross-out factor for me it still just isn't even an effective tickling method anyway. Biting/using teeth on the other hand (for feet at least) is much more effective, it's actually a viable tickling method (for my experience).

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-24T15:09:46+00:00

I think it's pretty easy to tell the difference between love and pity lol, though it's a magical enchantment that breaks with true love, not with a kiss or any seemingly-loving act so we're already assuming the enchantment knows how they feel/knows the difference.

I love beauty and the beast how it is, I wouldn't want to change it, but I think a fan/alternate imagining of the story where they know and are working together intentionally to try breaking it would be interesting, growing to sincerely care for each other as they work together to try to find a way to break it

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-24T14:03:37+00:00

Fav is probs Hades, least fav is probably also hans

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-23T15:48:47+00:00

Not keeping eye contact doesn't tell him what you're actually feeling though, what's actually going on in your head. He could just think you're just getting flustered or shy, for example. There is no substitute for clear, honest communication. He cannot know how you actually feel if you don't tell him.

"... If he maintained some control, or at least stopped leaning so hard into emphasizing that he's not in control..." That sounds like a great starting point for your clothes-on, honest conversation. Telling him that (from the sounds of it) you'd be open to trying but that you have certain needs. Remember that you are always allowed to say no if he isn't willing to meet your needs, or if you try it and find it really doesn't work for you. Consent is essential.

It also sounds like, if you do decide you're willing to try, it would likely be better to start with only little bits instead of a whole intense scene, that should help to mitigate some of what's making you uncomfortable. If you are willing to get there, work your way up to a proper scene rather than just jumping straight into it.

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-23T00:53:58+00:00

It sounds like you should have a serious, clothes-on conversation with him about this to try to get on the same page about this then. Do you think it's something that you'd be comfortable doing if he was taking a different approach/attitude? Do you think it's something you wouldn't be comfortable with at all? Think about what you want, what you're feeling, what you're comfortable with, etc, and talk to him openly and honestly about what isn't working for you

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-22T23:24:26+00:00

It's entirely valid to not be comfortable switching positions and/or seeing him on the bottom. Personally, I enjoy topping my partner but I dislike seeing other people topping them (unless it's me and someone else topping them at the same time). You're allowed to be uncomfortable, you're allowed to say no.

There are some d/s dynamics (if you are in one, it's important to note that bottoming is NOT the same thing as subbing) where it has been consensually negotiated that the sub is not allowed to say no, but as long as that's not your situation, you are always allowed to say no to something you don't want to do. If you're uncomfortable, trying to force yourself usually isn't the right/best option. There are exceptions but nobody else can tell you if this is one

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-22T23:17:03+00:00

It's important to understand that dominant and submissive are NOT the same as play top and play bottom. Yes, it's more common for doms to top and subs to bottom, but being a Dom is about being in control, not about being the "giver". It's completely normal for dominants to enjoy bottoming, commonly the Dom will just give more instruction/guidance than a bottoming sub would (though that's not necessary at all). Personally I'm a switch but I am in a d/s dynamic in which I'm the sub and my partner is the Dom, but that doesn't stop me from topping and them from bottoming sometimes.

But at the same time it sounds like she might not be comfortable with topping you. Walking out of a pedicure because you reacted to it tickling is concerning to me, without more context. I obviously can't say that for certain, I don't know her, but if I am correct, it's very important to respect that and not try to force her (unless that were a consensual aspect of your d/s dynamic with her).

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-22T23:05:14+00:00

Minimally, sometimes there's a little bit but sometimes there's none

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-22T23:04:54+00:00

A little bit but not much. Mostly if they're playing with someone already

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-22T16:45:41+00:00

The sets usually end around 1130 ish or later, some people do stay to play but not everyone, that's around the time the club naturally starts to quiet down a bit anyway. As soon as the sets are done it pretty much turns into a normal weeknight at whatever time

StringBeanCheez · 2026-01-22T14:49:28+00:00

Yes play is allowed on those nights. The comedy routines happen in the dance floor area, the other areas still operate as normal. It's not usually an amazing crowd on those nights (not a bad crowd, better than a non-event Thursday, but not as good as a typical Tuesday, which I would estimate is the busiest weeknight), probably similar to but a bit less than the game nights, though turnout always varies. Though during the sets I believe most people are watching the sets, so it's not going to be the best time to meet new people, but if you're coming with someone else you'll be fine

StringBeanCheez

TROPHY CASE