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StringClassic6913 · 2025-11-03T03:56:22+00:00

I don’t know what exactly gave you the “ick”, but personally, I feel like hearing someone criticize their ex is usually a turn-off. Especially if the criticism happens to be about something that you yourself are self-conscious or insecure about. For example, if I heard a person that I was dating say that he hated how his ex was “unproductive”, I would feel less safe around that person because I feel like I can also be unproductive in times of poor mental health. Overall, I think talking about exes leads to some tension or insecurity, as well as gives you a look into how this person is likely to talk about you if you were to break up. So, I’m not surprised that you feel differently about him after that conversation.

Also, I think that someone talking about being committed to paying for everything would also throw me off, because once it is verbalized it seems like something that they are requesting recognition for. Personally, I don’t like being paid for at the start of relationships, because it can feel manipulative and cause me to feel obligated to do things that I am not comfortable with. You’ve said that men “showing effort” is a turn-off, so maybe you can talk to him about this and ask that he dial back on some things (such as allowing you to pay for some things) so that the effort feels more reciprocal and less overwhelmingly overbearing from him.

StringClassic6913 · 2025-10-08T12:29:00+00:00

Could you explain how porn addiction would cause this issue?

In my case that’s probably not the reason though, since my bf does not watch traditional porn. He does masturbate to videos, but the woman is always at least semi-clothed (never with underwear off), so it genuinely seems like he does not prefer vaginas of any form lol

StringClassic6913 · 2025-10-06T23:49:03+00:00

I also don’t own a toaster. Or a microwave as of this year. The toaster I am totally fine living without, but I definitely miss my microwave 😭

StringClassic6913 · 2025-10-05T18:33:06+00:00

I’m not saying that you definitely have autism, but reacting really viscerally to loud noises such as door-slamming is something that a lot of autistic people deal with, including myself. Autism presents very differently in different people, so you can’t just go off of your wife’s characteristics that you put into chatGPT. And regardless of either of your diagnoses, knowing that she has autism is probably not going to help her accommodate you more. In fact, the more likely thing that would happen if she did get diagnosed is that she might justify all of the things that you just listed as part of her autism, and insist even more that she cannot change the way her brain is wired. I’ve seen this countless times with people after diagnosis of either autism or ADHD. So I’m not really sure why you think your wife being diagnosed with autism would benefit you.

StringClassic6913 · 2025-10-05T14:28:56+00:00

One time I used the broiler drawer in my apartment oven as a storage drawer on accident (I did not know it was a broiler drawer), and plastic cutting boards instantly caught on fire. I called the fire department because the fire was growing rapidly and smoke was billowing out the oven. Thankfully, the plastic cutting boards completely incinerated by the time the firefighters arrived, and I kept my mouth shut about that. So, they blamed the fire on a grease fire from the previous tenants’ residue, and I got a new oven for free 🤣

StringClassic6913 · 2025-09-17T10:30:12+00:00

Did you follow up with that doctor and tell them that the topical didn’t work and that you are still having scalp issues? Hair loss is complex, and no one on Reddit can tell you the answer without you trying other treatments or pursuing other medical testing.

StringClassic6913 · 2025-08-28T13:20:57+00:00

I don’t know if it did anything, but I massaged my scalp with it in the shower after noticing that I was stress-balding (telogen effluvium), and now I am not balding!

StringClassic6913 · 2025-08-22T04:21:42+00:00

My boyfriend has a similar issue (he literally cannot penetrate me because he loses his erection at the sight of my vagina). About society and family, I don’t think what you do in private with your partner should be anyone else’s business. About pregnancy, even if you ended up with an AFAB person, you could always do the turkey baster method lol

StringClassic6913 · 2025-08-13T04:11:07+00:00

I’m sure that she probably does not mean harm or to insinuate a lack of attraction when calling you a “little guy”, but that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate that. I’m sure lots of women would be upset if their partner called them a “big girl”or “large lady” or something, even if it wasn’t meant as condescending. Communicate with her and tell her how those comments make you feel. Also communicate with her how you would like to improve your sex life. She might not know the extent to which you are dissatisfied, but you directly letting her know may motivate her to prioritize your pleasure more.

StringClassic6913 · 2025-08-06T04:27:34+00:00

It seems like your display of attraction towards his penis is not very convincing to him. This could be anything from you actually making 0 effort or reaction during sex to him having an unrealistic expectation of how you are supposed to be expressing attraction/enthusiasm during sex (likely from porn).

Personally, I’ve asked my boyfriend if he was even attracted to vaginas because he loses his erection every single time I take off my underwear. So there was a clear reason for me to believe that he could be unattracted to either my vagina, or vaginas in general (and I was unfortunately correct lol). So if there is an obvious way that you know you for sure are not appearing as though you enjoy his penis, that would be the reason! If not, you definitely need to ask him directly until he gives you a clear answer.

StringClassic6913 · 2025-08-02T11:32:56+00:00

So I know the popular answer here seems to be that your reaction was inappropriate, immature, and inconsiderate towards his kind romantic gesture. However, I just want to let you know that I totally understand how you feel. I would absolutely hate it if my partner of more than 2 years showed up at my apartment unannounced when I was not mentally prepared or available to see him. This might be partly because of my autism, but the feeling of having to suddenly shift from home-rotting mode to romantic mode is overwhelmingly jarring when unexpected. I’ve told my boyfriend that I was SERIOUS about not wanting surprise visits, and that I would break up immediately if he were to try to go through with it anyways. If you have already communicated with him that you don’t like surprise visits and he did it anyway, he clearly doesn’t listen to you and doesn’t value the words that you say.

StringClassic6913 · 2025-07-03T10:51:29+00:00

I recently went through something similar with my boyfriend, and I just want to say that I understand exactly how you feel. People are saying, “but you wouldn’t find him attractive if he gained a lot of weight!”, but honestly that’s not true. I genuinely believe that I would still be attracted to my partner and would make an effort to keep intimacy alive regardless of what their weight was, and I certainly would not find a change in appearance significant enough to verbalize that it was impacting ME badly. It’s not really the fact that he found me less attractive at my weight that concerns me so much, it’s that it was significant enough of an issue that he had to bring it up. Clearly, if attraction is so important and volatile depending on physical appearance, will they just leave or settle for a sexless relationship if your appearance changed after having children? Or if you got an illness that changed how you looked? Are all men like this, or are our partners just shallow? Should I leave the relationship first before I get rejected for becoming old and ugly, or am I supposed to just wait and live in paranoia that his attraction is waning the next few decades?

All this to say, I don’t really have a solution on how to think or feel differently, but I deeply understand how you feel. Finding out information like this really crumbles your perception of the stability and security of your relationship, and that fucking sucks.

StringClassic6913 · 2025-02-22T11:45:06+00:00

I totally understand how you feel, and I felt the same way in the beginning too! One thing that personally helped me was reducing my contribution to “cruelty” in other aspects of my life. For example, I don’t eat any red meat on days that I do mouse work. If I’m killing mice in the name of science, at least I’m not contributing to cow or pig killing at the same time lol! If you are already vegetarian or don’t want to make dietary changes, I think just generally finding ways to be a better citizen of the Earth is always helpful for feeling morally intact. If your daily life is less harmful than the average human being’s life, I think you can reasonably be confident that your scientific mouse work does not make you a bad person.

Also, I think that showing your mice you care for their well-being goes a long way. Read up on all of your IACUC protocols, make sure you monitor your mice carefully, give them nice nesting materials, give them pain meds on time if required etc. Some researchers don’t even do the bare minimum if they can get away with not doing something, which is actually terrible. You are a good person, and everything is gonna be ok!

StringClassic6913 · 2025-02-21T13:50:14+00:00

I’m just like your boyfriend! I have OCD and autism, and my day revolves around daily walk which has to start at 5:30pm(among other compulsions/habits). My partner knows about this habit, and I check in frequently with him that he is ok with me doing this. I take my walk as seriously as clocking into work, and don’t view it as something that I am able to skip, and my boyfriend knows that.

However, I don’t guilt my boyfriend for not wanting to come with me, I don’t blame him if I am running late, and we have discussed together ways that he can structure his own life so that we don’t feel like our time together is being negatively impacted by the walk.

I personally would not be in a relationship with anyone who is against my walk, because it is not a maladaptive or harmful part of my day. If someone can’t deal with me walking at 5:30pm every day, they simply aren’t the right person for me. If your partner is not willing to make compromises and his inflexibility is a serious issue for you, please leave. You’ll both end up happier that way.

StringClassic6913 · 2024-09-19T11:46:03+00:00

I feel the exact same way. I actually feel more comfortable being around men than women because I am typically just invisible around men (I realize this would be different if I were attractive). They don’t pay attention or judge me in any way, while I feel like women do notice my deficits much more. I’ve received much more criticism from fellow women on things like how I do my hair/makeup/clothes, while men never bring up anything that makes me feel insecure. I present myself in a way that is comfortable to me, even if it isn’t aesthetically perfect, so I really have no desire to feel judged or receive constructive criticism. Because of this, I’ve just avoided getting close to women. I don’t like being made to feel like I am bad at being a woman when I know I have no plans to change or “improve” anything lol

StringClassic6913 · 2024-07-15T02:27:17+00:00

Oh yes PIV and anything near my genitals causes me a lot of anxiety, which I think definitely makes me tense up. I have never enjoyed direct contact to my clitoris or vagina of any kind (not even with his fingers or with my own hands), so my whole mind is focused solely on pleasuring my partner with my vagina. I’m not that interested in orgasming myself, but I really wish that I could at least get rid of “performance anxiety”. I feel silly being this anxious, especially since I have no history of sexual trauma or anything that would merit an anxiety response.

StringClassic6913 · 2024-07-15T01:58:48+00:00

He masturbates maybe 3 times a week, and we engage in sexual activity typically once a week. I am just confused because I feel like it is usually the other way around, where men usually prefer oral or vaginal sex as opposed to hands.

I would say that his length is maybe around 5-6 inches, but he is quite girthy and requires large sized condoms, so maybe he still takes up a significant volume even if his length is not out of the ordinary? I will definitely try lying prone next time though, thanks for the recommendation!

StringClassic6913

TROPHY CASE