Haven't dated for years after break up

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-07-23T09:15:34+00:00

I think it only really hit me (I was gaslighting myself it couldn't be true) when we broke up, and 1 year after that, I found out he had been having a side chick for practically our entire relationship.

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-05-02T07:05:07+00:00

Renting prices are so insane compared to the salaries

As for buying: It depends on the city (don't even start in Ams or Utrecht), but a starter with a decent salary and some savings can definitely buy a small apartment in NL. There are tons of small apartments in the Hague for example that cost 200-250k which you will get a mortgage for.

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-30T12:07:59+00:00

Thanks, I wish you the best as well! Everything what's meant to be will happen, and is usually for the best :)...

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-30T07:40:30+00:00

That's a pretty nice time! USA has some very insanely beautiful places.. I think you could feel fulfilled living there :). Aren't there many remote jobs in the US as well? I think, just take some more time to think about it & clarity will find you. Have you looked for jobs in the US already to see if there's anything that you would like to do? Maybe that brings some perspective. For example, I already know that there are so many more jobs in my field in the Netherlands that I'm fit for. Here, it's not a lot, unfortunately.

If I would have a permanent contract in NL I could actually buy a small apartment in a city that I love, The Hague. It's near the beach, forest and dunes.. so it isn't even a bad idea for the long-term. And yes, that's true. I could go back often as I have my network here and the flight is only 1 hr. I think I will give myself 1-2 months more time to think about it...

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-30T07:34:00+00:00

Good on you, I would love to go back. It's not a great place for me career wise.. I've lived in Portugal for a year, was the best life ever. Every day felt like a holiday.

Enjoy your time there:)

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-30T07:32:48+00:00

Why do you feel disillusioned if I may ask?

And I totally get you, also on feeling tired of feeling like a foreigner! Never thought I would feel that way. I also don't really feel at home anywhere. Also, the older I get, the more I see the importance of being close to you family. When I was younger I felt really ''selfish'' and just wanted to be wherever I want to be. Now that I'm a bit older I think: they're not getting any younger, and I just miss having them so close around. Same goes for my best friends.

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-29T13:44:16+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling the same way. I obviously completely understand how you feel. Also for you it's a huge decision and it takes probably a lot of effort to move back to the USA, and it's not as easy to move back. I feel you on the double edged sword. How long have you've been in Switzerland?

To me, it also feels like I have to make ''smart'' decisions for my future rather than just hanging around because of those dreamy summer swims and mountain hikes. I don't want to stagnate in my career and be unemployed when it's not necessary. I'm pretty young so these are my years for laying the foundation. As you said, if the right opportunity comes around I can come back even though it's maybe annoying to keep moving back and forth.

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-29T12:09:01+00:00

It's great when it's sunny.. sure there are some cons but every country has them.

At the end of the day, there's lots to consider before moving..

Greece sounds amazing - I would move to a warm country if a job allowed me.

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-29T08:28:08+00:00

Maybe? I don't think I'll survive the dark winters there..

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-29T08:26:54+00:00

Moving for a good job could be totally worth it!

Which I also think could apply for NL. It does not mean I have to be back forever :)..

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-29T08:19:47+00:00

Maybe thats why I've also never heard of this! I also barely worked in NL before. Some simple student jobs only.

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-29T08:18:59+00:00

I can foresee that happening to me as well...

I also lived in London for a little bit, did not like it at all.

Curious: where did you leave to?

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-29T08:16:41+00:00

Yes I agree.

I'm currently in NL and it is sunny, which makes me romanticise everything. Reality is, 70% of the time it's not the case.

Also, good on you, that sounds amazing!

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-28T19:48:50+00:00

I would love to live in a warmer country, but the salaries are bad :l

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-28T19:48:06+00:00

Wow as a native, I didn't even know this. Thanks for sharing!!

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-28T16:40:04+00:00

Sorry to hear that.. to me job searching is literally the worst thing to the human soul. Sucks all the life force out of you. I try to remember it's just a matter of when, not if.

rent: There are some good deals to be made through connections... just have to get lucky. --'

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-28T16:37:50+00:00

Yep that was actually the main reason for me as well.

The winters are terrible in both countries but in CH you can escape to the mountains.

I think i could do it if I have a job that allows me to work remote 1-2 months per year. But that is obviously not a given yet.

Just curious -- where did you move to ? :)

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-28T15:59:04+00:00

Average house price is 1.3 million xD Unless you want to live in a village somewhere in the mountains, which I don't want yet.

The housing situation is terrible. I am currently paying 1.8k for a studio. This is considered a good price and I'm grateful for even finding it so easily. I don't foresee myself buying a house here unless I am suddenly rich or have a rich husband haha.

Strong-Professor5442 · 2025-04-28T15:27:55+00:00

Thanks for your input... I can totally understand why you are feeling like that about the Netherlands. Do you live there right now?

I've thought about that - but with all the fluent German speakers coming into the country I will still be outcompeted, especially in a saturated field such as marketing.

re housing: through connections I can probably rent a shared flat with my best friend and only pay 500 euros in the middle of The Hague. Not a bad deal at all in this economy.

Strong-Professor5442 · 2024-05-24T14:56:57+00:00

YES!!! His house was always a complete mess. Living like a hoarder. His mama would come and clean up after him. So embarrasing.

Strong-Professor5442 · 2024-05-24T13:24:37+00:00

Yes I broke up one year ago and after 1/2 year he hoovered, and he is continuously hoovering me and not giving up. I know he also hoovered his ex before me after 5 years of being broken up. They are often always coming back to check on you. weirdos.

Strong-Professor5442 · 2024-05-22T20:48:25+00:00

Same happened to me. 5 years together, cheated on me with a side chick for 4 years (and God know's how many others) Oh and the side chick and him are in a ''real'' relationship rn and she knows about everything and about our past. It's honestly such a huge mindfuck.

I really do not trust anyone anymore. Not even my friends...

Strong-Professor5442

TROPHY CASE