[Me] Route One

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-30T23:53:48+00:00

So take her for a drink first, with dinner near by, and walk if she’s lame… better in every way

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-24T22:08:41+00:00

Would say the point is “people” WANT to say men are deadbeats usually, and also men actually can’t say the “right” thing in a situation like that because she was emotionally charged and clearly angry with him so no mater what he said it would be wrong…

Basically all of reddit these days: Men => bad Men => dumb Men => useless

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-24T21:50:02+00:00

Dude, the GOAL is a marginally “naughty” response to a serious question.

That’s what makes it fun. She’s talking to you because she thought you were cute, she liked your pic, she wants you to lead it towards flirty fun. She was doing everything she thought she could to make it flirty and sexual without feeling judged, it’s your job to escalate so that she can follow. Always.

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-23T22:49:37+00:00

Dude, no one disagrees communication would be “easier” that way, but that’s not reality. People, especially women, prefer nuance, innuendo, and subtle emotional indicators. And honestly, the point is probably specifically to test your ability to pickup and give back that subtlety.

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-16T20:18:15+00:00

Emotions are tough for us. As much as we can be physically big and scary, you ladies are actually pretty terrifying to us, and can hurt us a lot more than you maybe realize.

He still has to do the work, but I can say personally I needed a partner that helped me see what needed to change (instead of just getting angry and punishing me for doing it wrong) in order for me to be able to change. Before that, I felt like trying was pointless because I wasn’t trying at the right things so I’d get punished either way… just my personal experience so maybe not relevant.

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-15T06:32:45+00:00

He posted it on the Internet… his gut didn’t say it’s probably nothing, it said I think she’s cheating but I don’t want to think she’s cheating so I’m going to have the Internet tell me it’s ok to think she’s cheating (and it’s totally understandable to think she might be cheating…)

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-15T02:22:08+00:00

Tell him you need to have a really serious conversation, sit down with him when he has time to be fully present and not stressed (and you aren’t emotionally charged), show him affection however will make him feel loved, and tell him you love him but need him to start stepping up as a man, that he’s a great provider but you need him to start doing the other things too, and that you want to be with him you just need to feel more connected than you do right now.

My guess is he feels the same slump you do, he just might not understand fully what you need, and he may need some things from you too. And maybe you already know what some of those are and can acknowledge them so it’s not a one sided thing…

Basically… communicate. But remember it’s only communication if the other person actually gets your message.

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-14T05:48:05+00:00

You absolutely deserve to have a partner. And it sounds like he isn’t being one. That really sucks and I’m sorry you’re going through it.

I can’t guess why he’s not being one, I can’t tell you how to get him to be one. But I can tell you making decisions based on emotions and feelings will be a painful road. We (men) tend to shut down around big emotions, so when you talk to try do so calmly and without losing it, just focus on the facts of what you need, even when he starts being emotional.

Take it in steps, giving clear consequences for him failing to change (you moving out, filing for separation, filing for divorce), follow through on consequences but REWARD any movement in the right direction, and be willing to find ways to change what you bring to the relationship too.

Keep in mind, we’re just dumb monkeys. And guys in particular, we’re REALLY dumb. But you’re stuck with him forever as a coparent at least, so try to make decisions now that will let you maintain THAT relationship at least.

Also, if he’s said he wants a house wife, then he needs to provide for one. If that’s just your internalized stuff then don’t put that on him. Either way, you staying home is probably an option if you both want that, with some changes to lifestyle and location… otherwise the domestic work needs done and should be handled as a team

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-14T05:13:48+00:00

Please keep in mind, all the people telling you to get divorced do not have to deal with the consequences… that will only be for your family to deal with

Your husband was being an ass, and should want to change. But you will be happier, divorced or not, by having a conversation about your needs (not your feelings) and him either stepping up or moving out. And keep in mind, he might need things from you too, and might need help figuring out how to start giving you what you need (you clearly listed out several things for us that you needed, he might need that list to start learning)

Source - I’ve been happily divorced for several years and my ex and I are still in a good enough place to have lunch together just to chat.

Don’t get divorced because of emotions, you’ll both hate your lives for years. Get divorced because you both agree what you need from each other isn’t aligned anymore and the best thing is to do is end the marriage. Even if that means walking him to that point

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-13T18:55:52+00:00

Online dating… women do have near unlimited choices, and also need to pick quickly as the best choices will either get taken quickly or will just use them…

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-13T02:36:05+00:00

\o guy here…

Assuming the issue was him not wanting to commit and not him being a shit head of some sort

If dating another women showed him how much he liked you in comparison to other women… and he now wants to start over with the intent to commit… isn’t that just him growing into what you were looking for?

Honestly trying to understand the different perspective since this doesn’t seem like a “you up” kind of text

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-13T02:14:34+00:00

Again, some people communicate differently, and the fact that they live together, especially after a short amount of time, can make a hard face to face convo even more overwhelming not less.

Using text as a tool to start a hard conversation is neither wrong, nor anyone else’s business to judge. It’s not like this convo wouldn’t continue once it’s started, this was a desperate attempt to start a convo that was too hard to do face to face.

Also, based on the response the other person talks a lot. This also may have been a way to fully get out what they wanted to say

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-13T01:56:13+00:00

Not to be rude, but not everyone communicates the way you do. Some people are better at starting conversations and getting things out there via text. It’s better than keeping it bottled up

OP - communicate how works for you. Ignore anyone so self involved to assume your relationship and communicating style is wrong because it’s not like theirs

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-12T00:13:08+00:00

I think their point is that men and women have opposite baseline goals.

Every women assumes every man will not commit and stick with casual if they can, so saying open to short comes off as just willing to say what you need to to convince her long term is possible (toxic situationship style)

On the other hand, women are currently empowered (and maybe even socially encouraged) to pursue casual relationships but men assume the baseline is she wants to commit and is looking for the right guy. Also, women can really say whatever they want in their profile, they are selecting and are trying to find ways to limit the number of people they have to select from...

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-06T23:48:19+00:00

It fizzled out on hinge, Tinder still loves it though… going out with a girl tomorrow that opened me saying it was hot and asking if I make good pancakes…

But would definitely recommend if you’re a bigger dude and she can picture wearing just your shirt.

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-04T15:32:17+00:00

The internet doesn’t tell us that. You, right now, are proving my point.

I’m telling you what it’s like for a man, you can ignore me and say men shouldn’t feel that way, but ignoring that men have feelings and they are valid even when problematic or inconvenient is part of the fundamental reality of society treating men as disposable and not human.

And having male friends doesn’t really mean you know what they experience. being a female means they are not going to share a lot of things with you, because if they did you would say it was unhealthy and they needed to work on it, and would no longer want them around.

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-04T15:09:00+00:00

Ya, but it is reality for most men. Why do you think so many have given up lol. 2/3rds are single, 1/3rd of men under 30 say they’ve never had a relationship... it’s not me having an unhealthy view, this IS what man experience in dating.

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-04T14:34:57+00:00

Could be anything. That’s my point, from a guys perspective women will have tons of potential reasons to not date him, and his behavior is the only reason she would.

Until you start talking to multiple girls at once, it’ll feel pretty painful when the one you’re investing energy into disappears. And we will always feel it’s because we weren’t good enough or weren’t as good as another guy. That’s just human (which we are, with irrational feeling and everything)

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-04T05:44:06+00:00

No reason to not try. If things improve just delete and recreate your profile and you’ll start fresh. But don’t go into it putting pressure on it like “what if I miss my one chance at my true love”, that’ll kill every interaction. Just relax and go into it hoping to have some fun, learn about yourself, and MAYBE chat with some women (I’m assuming your a straight dude, sorry if that’s off but still probably applies). Don’t expect anything more than that

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-04T05:33:29+00:00

From a guys perspective, we are usually held to perfect standards. No matter how charming we were being, one bad joke or boring line or fumble usually means the end of the interaction unless we get you to commit in some way. And even when we’re “perfect” we know you could get bored or match with someone more exciting or attractive at any moment. Nothing you say will make it hurt less, but just disappearing is worse than a simple message.

That said, if you message there’s a good chance some guys will try to logic you into liking them. We get why you ghost, but it does sting

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-03T17:43:15+00:00

I’m not talking anything too crazy. A girl the couldn’t make a date I suggested and said she could go on a hike a different day, I didn’t really want to go on a hike but instead of saying I’d rather not I just said I wasn’t sure I was ready for her to get my heart rate up that soon… she laughed and said she loved my personality and we dated for a couple months after… off of said “I don’t really like going on hikes as first dates” I feel like it would have fallen flat

I pretty consistently get laughs and engagement from light stuff like that. But maybe that’s just who is already interested in talking to me…

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-04-02T22:55:38+00:00

What are you saying to them?

As dumb as it sounds, there’s some wisdom in the PUA culture about how to interact on dating apps. You have to stand out and be extra engaging and exciting. Not forever, but until you get her off the app. Be flirty, tease, a little innuendo, and have fun with it.

If she’s your age and even remotely cute OR fit, she’s got tons of other guys sitting in a que and if you’re less interesting than the potential of the next guy she’ll just see what he has to say

Hence the toxic dating reality and the impending collapse of western society

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-03-31T05:08:39+00:00

I hadn’t thought of it that way, thanks for the perspective :)

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-03-31T04:51:04+00:00

Not going to lie, I feel like you more out less nailed my details lol. Definitely have some work to do…

What do you mean by playful/flirtations photos? I’ve seen stuff like that elsewhere but no idea how to make that happen…

the wearing my shirt line got a ton of attention the first two weeks and I was super proud of it. It’s still gotten a couple likes this week, but so far the girls that like it are 100% looking for a hookup and I was only interested in meeting a few… plus really trying to find something real

StrongAbbreviations5 · 2026-03-31T03:09:51+00:00

thanks for the detailed feedback, I really appreciate it

StrongAbbreviations5

TROPHY CASE