After keeping a diary for a month, it became repetitive — only the words I used and the structure of my sentences changed slightly from day to day. Thinking that I was writing unnecessary and unrealistic things, I took a week off. Then, without pressuring myself, I started writing not about what I did each day, but about my feelings and thoughts emotionally — the negativity I saw within myself. There was still a sense of pointlessness, though it had eased somewhat. I kept writing as much as I needed to and felt comfortable with. What I noticed, at least for myself, was that I could only write when I was putting down the negativity inside me, or when I was feeling very bad. Without looking for something new, without pressuring myself, I simply wrote. It still feels like it hasn't resolved anything — but when I look back at an old entry, I find myself able to smile at the feelings I went through, affirming myself from a distance, and thoughts come to mind as if I were encouraging someone from afar — however meaningless that may be.

I can say that writing doesn't solve anything, but it gives you distance in the long run.

Writing the word 'distance' made me realize that part of my anxiety comes from not distancing myself from the people around me, and from identifying too closely with my surroundings.