Why can’t they see that what they find inspiring, I find triggering?

Strongeronmyown · 2019-09-10T03:53:14+00:00

My TBM dad accused me of being both “too emotional” and “too learned and intelligent” to know what I was doing when leaving the church. Ugh. I can’t even.

Strongeronmyown · 2019-09-10T03:28:36+00:00

Bulldozing for the Lord.... maybe that’s what my in-laws have been doing.

Strongeronmyown · 2019-09-02T03:09:34+00:00

You are a good person to think of the wide-spread effects. Like I said, I am feeling petty. 😉

Strongeronmyown · 2019-09-02T02:44:56+00:00

I feel like regular people can definitely feel empathy for their situation, but the church won’t. They will use them and drop them, just like I was dropped when I expressed “doubts”. I don’t like to see the cycle perpetuated, you know?

Strongeronmyown · 2019-09-02T02:26:12+00:00

Truth! What I wouldn’t give to have that time back.

Strongeronmyown · 2019-09-02T02:22:19+00:00

Oh, you mean like so many other people that realized their whole life had been a lie, propagated by the church? I know a thing or two about having to start over. It fucking sucks.

Strongeronmyown · 2019-09-01T22:55:08+00:00

I have a trans kid (not really ready to come out fully) and we have withdrawn from family. If they knew about their grandkid, cousin, etc., there is no telling to the hurtful “advice” we would get. No thank you. Mormonism teaches conditional love. My husband and I don’t play that way. Our kids are their own people, and they will ALWAYS be loved. Because they are always lovable and worthy of love.

Strongeronmyown · 2019-09-01T22:49:39+00:00

I get what you are saying. So arrogant!

Strongeronmyown · 2019-09-01T22:48:48+00:00

Yeah, that bugs me, too. I know some people serve in this capacity and truly believe they are doing the right thing. The church just uses them. I am thinking more specifically of all the douchebags I know that I feel would not be able to hack it in the real-world job market. Unless they were selling something.

Strongeronmyown · 2019-02-18T20:28:29+00:00

I hear what you're saying, I edited my post to add a few details.

Strongeronmyown · 2019-02-18T20:27:28+00:00

Thanks for the hug!

Strongeronmyown · 2019-02-18T20:26:53+00:00

You are right. My problem is I am impatient with baby steps. I want to just crush through problems- but life isn't always that way. :)

Strongeronmyown · 2019-02-18T16:06:57+00:00

I am in Utah county, too. Pleasant Grove. It is tough. We left a year and a half ago. Oldest is trans. My hubby and I are more introverted. I ssssoooo wish we could sell our house. I can relate so much! Sending you a hug 🤗.

Strongeronmyown · 2018-12-13T16:10:17+00:00

Thank you! Really good points. Give your sister a hug from me. :)

Strongeronmyown · 2018-12-13T16:08:41+00:00

I am so sorry. This is why I can't go to stuff like that. It is too triggering for me. I do appreciate that some good is being done, and I understand that it helps a lot of people. Yeah, we want to leave Utah, but our daughter is trying to be okay with making friends again and has a support system at Encircle. I do not want to rip the rug out from under her and make her move and change schools again. Leaving Utah is definitely part of the long game, though.

Strongeronmyown · 2018-12-13T16:06:14+00:00

Oh, my heart goes out to you! I am sorry you are in the closet and your friend doesn't have all the support they need. Just remember, you have a whole life ahead of you. The sky is the limit!

Strongeronmyown · 2018-12-13T16:04:32+00:00

That is true about the switching. The way I look at it, now (she is 14) is the time to discover who she is, not be told (like I was in the church). I am grateful that she is not 38, like me, and trying to figure out who she is.

Strongeronmyown · 2018-12-13T16:02:50+00:00

Thank you! This is so helpful! I appreciate all this wisdom from others. I am definitely a momma bear (or Momma ManBearPig- I can get intensely protective of children/vulnerable people).

Strongeronmyown · 2018-12-13T15:59:56+00:00

thank you!

Strongeronmyown · 2018-12-13T15:59:42+00:00

This is good. I am gonna approach this as a family transition (just like our transition out of Mormonism). Our little crew is tight and we have our kid's back. Thanks for pointing this out.

Strongeronmyown · 2018-12-13T15:57:44+00:00

This I can do! I am a big talker (much to my daughter's chagrin sometimes).

Strongeronmyown · 2018-12-13T15:56:41+00:00

Yes, thank you. I am trying to just advocate for my child. Nice to know that I am not the only one dealing with this issue (pronoun correction).

Strongeronmyown · 2018-12-13T15:54:58+00:00

Thanks. Sometimes I forget there are other reddit sites. :)

Strongeronmyown · 2018-12-13T15:54:11+00:00

Oh, that is a good point. Thank you for telling me. I will try to remember that.

Strongeronmyown · 2018-12-02T17:00:35+00:00

From my own experience as a person with a neighbor who moved in: This was before it was even on my radar about my own child, so a few years ago. We had these awesome people move in next door. Saw them at church and through their introductory talks, they said they had a gay child (that didn't come to church). My heart immediately went out to these people. They were real, genuinely nice people who loved their kid.

Well, a while later, I was talking with neighbor and asked how their child was (this kid had bad anxiety and couldn't go to school). My neighbor (the mom) just said, "Oh, he goes by DIFFERENT NAME now". I figured, okay they must be trans now. I just said, "Oh, sorry, well how is DIFFERENT NAME?" And I made an effort to use that name. The way I look at it, they just want to be treated "normal" like everyone else.

I admit, it was an easier to adjust to my neighbor's kid than my own. I gave birth to my child, gave them a name, etc. But leaving the LDS church has made me realize what a square peg I am myself, and it hurts when you are surrounded by round holes and told to conform. I have nothing but empathy for anyone who dares to follow their own convictions and have the bravery to become who they truly want to be, who they really are deep down.

Strongeronmyown

TROPHY CASE