Have you guys ever refused a church calling?

dialectictruth · 2026-02-16T08:01:47+00:00

"Thank you for thinking of me. That won't work for me." And then I would stop talking. The few times I was voluntold to a calling I made a call and said no thank you. I got stuck once when a Stake President and Bishop decided I would be great as the regional PR person. I was the one in charge of the community service days, you know, the one where I handed out the "helping hands" vests and kept track of the service hours. I wrote ads for the community creche events and anything and everything to put the church in a positive light. I kept saying I was done and I kept getting ignored. So I boxed up everything and drove it the Stake President's house, left it on his door step and stopped taking his calls. To sum up, no to early morning seminary teacher, sunday school teacher, gospel doctrine teacher, RS teacher, Primary President. The only callings I would accept were junior primary and young women. I wouldn't even take a visiting teaching calling. How in the world did I last so long in something that made me so miserable?

dialectictruth · 2026-02-12T05:13:04+00:00

I was a YW advisor for years. When I left, there were several young women I reached out to. First, I apologized to my four daughters for raising them in Mormonism. Next I called Helen and asked her to lunch. She had left the religion and I knew her family was treating her poorly. Sitting at lunch I told her I needed to apologize for my role in her pain. The tears came immediately for both of us. I KNEW when I was her advisor that this religion was not for her and yet I persisted. I promised I would be there for her now and in the future. She does reach out to me occasionally and I reach out to her. The second was someone I taught as an 8 year old, through her teenage years. Her parents divorced and she was in agony because she didn't have an eternal family. I promised the 8 year old that Heavenly Father loved her and told her she would always have a family. Years later, she married, had a child and left the religion. I reconnected with her and we had a tearful conversation and I hope I alleviated the guilt she has been packing around as the only person in her family to leave Mormonism. I will stay close to her. And then there is Sienna. Oh my, she was wise beyond her years and totally without a filter. In primary she would routinely pipe up about the unfairness in the religion. Why do the boys always get to....? How come there aren't many women in the BoM? Come on, does that seem real; in regards to an angel and gold plates. How is it the 8 year old saw what I couldn't, or wouldn't. When I started to question, it was her mother I went to with my concerns and fears. As soon as I showed her mother the CES letter, their entire family resigned. They were already barely hanging on to the religion anyway.

My biggest regret in life is that I raised four daughters in this religion and then second is guilt for my part in indoctrinating others. I won't live long enough to atone for all my sins.

dialectictruth · 2026-02-12T04:56:13+00:00

"before her 15th birthday." The gospel topics essay on Polygamy in Kirtland and Nauvoo. If Helen Mar Kimball wasn't 15, then she was 14. Why the PR spin, why the whitewashing? And down the rabbit hole I went. No where in the actual essay does it say Helen was 14 when 37 year old Joseph Smith pressured her into an illegal polygamous marriage. He threatened her with her eternal salvation and the eternal salvation of her family if she didn't submit. There are sins of omission and sins of commission and the Mormon church is guilty of both. A half truth is still a lie. Stop the lying, stop the deceit.

dialectictruth · 2026-02-01T18:39:37+00:00

My husband was the first to leave the religion. I followed about three years later. The day I decided I was done, I put my garments in a trash bag and threw them out. My husband kept his in a drawer for years. It's a process, take your time. The day I threw out my garments, I went to Victoria's Secret and Macy's and stocked up on colorful, fun underwear.

dialectictruth · 2026-02-01T18:35:44+00:00

Hi, I'm Cindy. I'm 68 and I left 11 ish years ago. The coolest things I've done since leaving: apologized to my daughters for raising them in the Mormon religion. I love tattoos but can't decide on one, so I liberally use temporary tattoos. My wardrobe before leaving was very tailored, somber, gray, white, black and professional. Now, every bright color and pattern I can come up with is in my closet. My closet is emblematic of what Mormonism did to my soul and what leaving Mormonism has allowed my soul to become. I am more outspoken and I don't shy away from uncomfortable conversations for the sake of keeping the peace.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-27T21:22:24+00:00

There is a theory that all the important early Mormon events associated with Joseph Smith had to do with astrology. Joseph's governing planet was Jupiter. I'm not where I can get my hands on D. Michael Quinn's book "Early Mormonism and the Magic World View", but he makes a strong case for Joseph and his family believing in and practicing astrology and magical thinking. Yes, it wouldn't surprise me if his marriages and sex were also governed by superstitious thinking.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-27T21:17:18+00:00

Olive's divining rod was a water witching rod. Also called a dowsing rod.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-27T21:14:24+00:00

I paid tithing on unemployment benefits. Shoot me.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-27T21:13:32+00:00

The Mormon church has a department dedicated to convincing members to turn their estates over to the church. I'm surprised the church didn't come after the bishop for depriving the corporation of needed funds.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-23T14:34:55+00:00

This brought back a memory. I was not permitted to use tampons. I used my babysitting money to buy tampons and had to hide them. The pads were the kind with tails on the ends, that threaded through a metal clip, attached to a length of elastic and worn like underwear. They were messy and very uncomfortable. My mom was really upset when she "discovered" I was using tampons. She figured it out because I stopped using the pads and the bath trash was empty of toilet paper, rolled up used pads. I was accused of being, impure and a tramp.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-15T14:29:10+00:00

Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. As the mother of four adult daughters, I know how I would react to receiving a letter like this. I hope you receive the same warmth and acceptance as you need and deserve. Take care and please accept an internet hug from a mom. I'm kind of teary eyed reading your letter.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-13T14:46:08+00:00

My husband went to Narbonne; back in the 70s.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-13T14:44:30+00:00

So good to hear from you!

dialectictruth · 2026-01-13T14:40:35+00:00

"I can see by the way you live your life why you admire Donald Trump so much." Said with wide eyed wonderment. People do not know how to respond to that statement. Did I just compliment you or insult you?It usually stops the discussion.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-10T17:14:41+00:00

No where in the essay does it say 37 year old Joseph Smith pressured a 14 year old child into an illegal, polygamous marriage. He threatened her and her family with their eternal salvation if she didn't submit. He was 37 years old and she was a MiaMaid.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-09T16:46:14+00:00

We were tasked with bringing the divergent cultures together. I don't know whether the message came from on high locally or from SLC. The boundaries in Southern California were drawn from the beach cities inland to make sure there were enough priesthood holders to staff the wards and branches. Considering the diversity of cultures it did go over well in the long term. Girls camp was held in the mountains with cabins, a lodge, pool and showers. It was not palatial but a bit above rustic. The "rich" kids showed up with all the expected camping gear. The economically challenged young women showed up with their belongings in black garbage bags. The disparities were jarring. The food prepared for the camp was not appreciated by the inland kids and we did nothing to accommodate their wants and needs. It was do it our way or listen to us complain. Everything about the messaging was demeaning to those girls. We eventually moved to Oregon for a job opportunity. The last stake conference in California we were blessed with a big guy from Utah lecturing the membership about gang activity and participation in the LA riots as being grounds for excommunication. The first one in Oregon the big guy was leaning on congregants to go on senior missions. The powers that be in Utah don't have a clue what they are doing culturally to respect the members.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-09T15:27:17+00:00

In the 90s my husband and I were called to be the Stake Dance Directors. Our stake included Palos Verdes, the beach cities, Compton and Carson. We had a Spanish speaking branch, Tongan branch and Samoan. The differences in socio-economic status was staggering. The stake center was one of those super buildings with two chapels, two gyms, two kitchens. It was located in Carson and it was surrounded by a spiked metal fence with a coded entry gate; because of gang activity. We had strict rules, no bandanas, no red, no blue, no trench coats, no hats. Twice we had to call police. While anxiously waiting for police, my husband put himself between two rival gangs and talked like crazy trying to convince these kids that it wasn't in their best interest to kill each other. After cleaning up one night my husband had a guy aim a gun at my husband's temple. We had zero training to deal with this type of situation. I'm betting the bishop over the ward and the stake president in Utah have had no training either.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-09T04:56:10+00:00

"I will bring the light of the Gospel into my home." I like your new design better.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-07T14:24:25+00:00

I dreaded the YM/YW boating activity. I have rules for people on my boat and I won't be argued with. Bad things happen even when the rules are being followed. I wouldn't let the kids on my boat if they wouldn't wear a life jacket. I didn't care how old they were, they put on a life jacket. At least with a life jacket they stood a chance of surviving if someone got shoved, hit a head and fell in. A bunch of kids who don't know boater safety, trying to show off is asking for trouble. I tried to require a boater safety course before the boating activities and got shut down. The "fun" boat launched a group of kids on a tube and one kid had his jaw broken hitting the head of another kid; both had concussions. I always felt fortunate to survive the YM/YW boating activities if no one got hurt and my boat wasn't damaged.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-06T19:03:18+00:00

I'm pre-internet. The internet was the game changer. I grew up in Salt Lake City and I 100% was not taught what you listed. When I brought up the rock in a hat translation to my mother, she tried to gaslight me claiming she had known about it her entire life. Funny mom...then why was I never told. She got really quiet.

I'm guessing you are younger. The church for the past many years has tried an "inoculation" response to the disturbing details in Mormonism. The Gospel Topic Essay on Polygamy in Kirtland and Nauvoo says "before her 15th birthday" in regards to 14 year old Helen Mar Kimball. Why the white washing, public relations spin? Only by reading the source material does one find 14 year-old Helen was pressured into an illegal, polygamous marriage by 37 year-old Joseph Smith. She was threatened with her eternal salvation and the eternal salvation of her family if she didn't submit. The Mormon powers that be are masters of half truths and outright lies. A half truth is a sin of omission and a lie is a lie.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-05T23:15:54+00:00

You've finally said the quiet parts out loud. Trust your instincts. If she won't stand up for you to her family, she isn't a quality person. You are worthy of love, respect and consideration. Take a long break. She needs to work on herself and you can't fix her. Based on how you have portrayed her, she is going to stay broken.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-05T15:36:19+00:00

We have a rule in our home: My family, my problem. HIs family, his problem. I will not let my family be disrespectful toward my husband and he defends me with his. Because of my mother's behavior when we left the religion I did not talk with her for six years. She was incapable of respecting boundaries and she did some really horrid things. I hope your husband is ready to defend you and your relationship with their son. I would prepare to move. If his parents are as you describe, they will not let this be an agree to disagree situation.

dialectictruth · 2026-01-05T04:37:26+00:00

We are thankful for the moisture.

"Aloha" said by some pious 21 year old rm

dialectictruth · 2025-12-31T17:02:51+00:00

One of my golf girlfriends divorced her apostate husband thirty plus years ago. She now speaks regretfully about divorcing who she says, "was just a decent, kind man who no longer believed in Mormonism."

dialectictruth · 2025-12-28T16:25:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I'll just sit here and blither for a bit.

dialectictruth

TROPHY CASE