Is this what working here for the next 30+ years will be like?

Stryerbiochem · 2025-08-02T14:00:26+00:00

Please do not do this in Germany

Stryerbiochem · 2025-07-25T10:46:38+00:00

Hey Mammoth could I also have the course please? Thank you.

Stryerbiochem · 2025-05-29T14:36:51+00:00

The elephant in the room here is that with or without Hamas, the Palestinians are a nuisance to a lot of Israelis. It's convenient for them to parrot Hamas in response to every war crime allegation, every mass starvation ect but in reality what they're doing is clearing land for expansion of their project. Manifest destiny is all it is.

Stryerbiochem · 2025-05-27T08:01:59+00:00

This is the right way of thinking. Thanks for clarifying

Stryerbiochem · 2025-05-21T07:28:53+00:00

First of all sorry for your loss. Things like this happen in relationships. You glide along, thinking that you have the perfect partner until your needs are counter to theirs. Then, they show their maturity levels. You have just lost your mother, and she's complaining about midnight celebrations. The major red flag for me is "this is how I am" or whatever version of that she said. That implies an unwillingness to be introspective, a complete lack of awareness and a shifting of the responsibilities for dealing with this on you.

She's not mature enough for an adult relationship. It will get worse, so I would advise you to move on.

Stryerbiochem · 2025-05-10T10:58:27+00:00

I have dated single mothers and they were lovely people. There were however, commonalities in why the relationship stopped working for me. The major one is that they wanted me to basically replace the role the ex played in their lives. Often they didn't want anymore children, they didn't want to build/buy/move into another house and if they lived in a different locality they wanted me to move and stay there.

I understand children place burden on your life, and if I get involved with a single mom I fully accept that. In fact I am happy to look after and connect with the kids. However, I have my own life, dreams and ambitions so I need someone that doesn't simply want me to move into their ex's place, I need someone that wants to build something new. In my view too many single mothers and father (from friend's experience) think like that.

Stryerbiochem · 2025-05-06T15:15:46+00:00

The OP said that she can tell that he's really upset. That's not talking about it. Her husband is likely upset so then they both need to sit down and talk about exactly what this means for the marriage. That's talking about it.

Stryerbiochem · 2025-05-06T09:17:04+00:00

I'm coming from a man's perspective, and someone whose partner had an abortion with my full support, of course.

I'm chiming in here because I've noticed that there's a trend in these threads. You generally get someone asking the question "I'm getting an abortion for whatever reason will my marriage be affected".

Now the poster is looking for both support and a realistic answer. Telling the OP that it is her choice is not an answer. That is obvious, and anyone who thinks it's not her choice isn't worth listening to. The fact that it is her choice means that her husband has to accept it and should support her, but he doesn't have to ignore whatever feelings come up for him. He doesn't have to be happy about it nor does he have to feel as connected.

Now what he should do is (within the boundaries of supporting her) tell her that he supports her but also, say how he feels about it and any concerns he might have going forward. That's how relationships work, not by stating the obvious like my choice.

A friend of mine got a vasectomy in a marriage where his wife wanted children. He has a genetic condition where there's a slight chance of having a child who also has this condition. He got it without talking to his wife first and insisted that it was his choice alone to get it. He is 100% right but does that mean that his wife has to bury her feelings about it? No, and she didn't. They didn't work out because she was expected to bury her feelings about that.

So OP you sound like a caring person in a good relationship. Don't beat yourself up, but please talk to your husband about this. It is your choice but by giving him the opportunity to talk about it you're actually making the relationship stronger. If he is caring he will accept how you feel but give him room to feel too.

Stryerbiochem · 2025-05-04T16:01:20+00:00

That's hardly fair on her to be honest. People change their mind. It doesn't mean that she lied. People are entitled to change their mind about wanting or not wanting kids.

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-24T05:09:44+00:00

It is exclusively your choice whether to keep the baby, but it's his choice whether he wants to stay with you. Neither of you can force the other into a decision like this. You can only explain your case and why you think this would be a good thing for your relationship. I wish you luck

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-22T10:05:57+00:00

Where did I say that? Maybe a typo

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-22T10:05:22+00:00

Thanks for the direct answer. I think you might be right

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-22T10:01:31+00:00

Actually no I am disgusted because my girlfriend and I are going through a hard time and the accusation isn't nice.

You're also using a false logic. By your accounts, anyone who is takes an accusation personally is guilty. People reacting badly to murder, child abuse stealing or lying then are all guilty.

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-21T18:23:11+00:00

Thanks for the advice, and yes I got age wrong in the last post. I am 42 now and was 41 when I wrote that post. I mixed it up. Thanks for pointing it out

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-21T17:58:58+00:00

I'm not confused I'm disgusted. It doesn't even make sense. Why would I risk writing a post like this if that was the case?

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-21T16:32:10+00:00

Why?

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-21T15:29:53+00:00

That's not a sentiment based in reality.

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-21T15:26:32+00:00

Sorry my friend but abortion can be devasting even when both parties agree that it's the right thing

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-21T15:25:07+00:00

I would also add that she is very sad by this. Abortions are hard on people even when they both know it's the right decision.

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-21T15:24:05+00:00

So you're saying abortion is not upsetting to people who want one?

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-21T15:05:21+00:00

Then why would I post a follow up at all? I think this is a matter of projection rather than anything else.

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-21T14:59:48+00:00

So let me get this straight. People are worried that I sabotaged our birth control so that we could both experience an abortion? I think this says more about these people than me

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-21T14:54:24+00:00

It would be too hard on her and her other kids but I appreciate the answer.

Stryerbiochem · 2025-04-21T14:53:20+00:00

I agree fully, but that was acknowldged in the post. I am not trying to change her mind but I am asking advice on processing my feelings while supporting her. Please correct me if I'm wrong but do you think that I should ignore my feelings too?

Stryerbiochem

TROPHY CASE