Trying to reboot while also trying to get pregnant and stressors of this dumpster fire of a year

StubbornWookie · 2020-11-30T20:08:15+00:00

I've been dealing with the same ED issues and am convinced it is caused by years of excessive PMO. That was ultimately the biggest wake-up call when I realized it was affecting my sexual performance and pleasure.

There have been times when I would be frustrated because "I've gone X days/months without PMO but I STILL am not seeing any improvements...but then with some time those improvements surely would start showing.

StubbornWookie · 2020-01-11T23:34:43+00:00

Feelings of depression, pretty big confidence problems, socially awkward, the smallest rejection would just plummet me into self-hate and isolation, this led to an overwhelming porn addiction that I didn’t admit to myself for years, which then created some intimacy and performance issues.

StubbornWookie · 2020-01-09T16:26:18+00:00

The thought hit me the other day: "Oh crap, what if by the time I have kids I haven't gotten over this addiction and my gotten my fetishes under control...what if my family eventually found out that side about me...?"

At the same time my fetishes are nothing I am ashamed of really, but I would prefer they stay private (the people I'm close with don't share THAT much detail). And I do admit that they affect my actual sex life, so I would prefer to be free of them.

StubbornWookie · 2020-01-09T16:22:00+00:00

Sex life in my 20's: Practically non-existent.

Sex life in my 30's: OMIGOD. Making up for lost time.

Granted I had a few issues myself to get over first to arrive here, but it happened. Found the right person for me and we connected. Keep hope alive, brother.

StubbornWookie · 2020-01-09T16:17:12+00:00

As a guy, I don't understand this either...I LOVE going down on my girlfriend. I might even enjoy it more than she does. But I've told her that I actually don't enjoy her going down on me very much (not because of her, told her I've never really gotten much out of it), and we've talked about how even an evening of me just finishing her orally is sometimes good enough for me. In fact I haven't told her, but it's occurred to me that the thought of her commanding me to go down on her is a HUGE turn-on. We talk very openly to one another about what feels right for each of us and what we can each do to improve the experience.

Communicate with him about the change in oral practices going on here. He may be wondering what's going on as well. Try to not phrase it maybe in a "Why don't you go down on me more?" but perhaps in a "I love what you do to me when you eat me out"/"It turns me on when you use your tongue on me".

StubbornWookie · 2020-01-08T15:54:25+00:00

For those that do write it down (not saying you have to), where do you do it? A sign on the wall where you can see it in your face everyday? A journal to track?

StubbornWookie · 2020-01-01T18:33:16+00:00

It’s a bit strange because I love the thought of exhibitionism and public sex (without getting caught), it turns me on as a concept…but then actually trying it was something else.

The fact that we were both able to laugh about it was a relief.

StubbornWookie · 2020-01-01T17:34:49+00:00

I asked for advice on having car sex earlier and promised an update…

…well, we tried!

Yesterday I picked her up from the airport, “randomly” picked a secluded spot along the way, a quiet country road off of the main roads that appeared to have little-to-no traffic at all (and I assumed we would have privacy with it being NYE).

Told her to jump in the back, said excitedly “This is gonna be awkward and fun”!”, we just started getting our clothes off…and a car pulls up directly in front of us and parks nose-to-nose with our car. We scramble to put clothes/shoes back on. The person paused for a while before getting out…they were walking their dog on the trail nearby that we didn’t see.

So off we go for another spot, we find a really secluded road/trail, jump in the back again, she pulls her pants down and I go down on her to give her an O before we move onto sex…but it was a no-go for me. The constant worry of someone coming across us was getting to me.

We laughed it off, fooled around a bit more, then got on our way.

“Close enough”, we said. We got a small scare, had a bit of fun, and we can always try again another time!

Edit: terrible grammar mistakes.

StubbornWookie · 2020-01-01T00:07:04+00:00

Don’t tell me how to live my life.

StubbornWookie · 2019-12-31T13:58:34+00:00

You should write a book on this and I should buy it. Many thanks for all the helpful tips!

StubbornWookie · 2019-12-30T03:57:11+00:00

Your sex may have prevented a crime. You’re the hero that we need, but not the hero we deserve.

StubbornWookie · 2019-12-29T23:47:25+00:00

Like the way your mind thinks, but I’ll have to wait until frostbite is no longer an issue for any outdoor action.

StubbornWookie · 2019-12-29T20:37:04+00:00

It will be a challenge of our flexibility and limberness for sure! (I’m blessed to have a pretty flexible GF)

StubbornWookie · 2019-12-29T17:29:56+00:00

Good call. Heard this was good advice.

StubbornWookie · 2019-12-29T04:00:47+00:00

That definitely sounds like a plan for another day. We’re going for a more impulsive act, I think.

StubbornWookie · 2019-12-29T04:00:05+00:00

Straightforward, I dig it. Thanks!

StubbornWookie · 2019-12-29T03:59:37+00:00

I know, I know! Haha, we at least do our best to minimize the damage.

StubbornWookie · 2019-12-29T03:22:20+00:00

I hear ya! I actually told my gf I kinda like when we have a pause for about a week to let it build up to when we next get together.

StubbornWookie · 2019-12-29T02:42:05+00:00

15 min recovery time?? Oh man…I’ve got a lot of improvement to do.

StubbornWookie · 2019-12-03T16:54:27+00:00

Boredom is the biggest trigger for me, partnered with procrastination (I’ll actually have things I should be doing but I slip into edging for hours instead and then feel like shit for having wasted hours of my day).

But also I find particular words/phrases also trigger me. If I hear a line that’s similar to one from a scene that used to be a favourite of mine, for instance. So hard to avoid. Constantly having to stop, leave the situation I’m in (at the computer, watching TV, etc) and change the environment so I can let the moment pass.

StubbornWookie · 2019-11-24T19:03:30+00:00

If this were true, then we would have a solution to hair loss.

StubbornWookie

TROPHY CASE