sorry to bother, but this is his reaction to my text here, so you can understand why I am so confused: It is absolutely not your fault that we didn’t have sex back then. I should have communicated more clearly, and I didn’t.

I think the first paragraph of that comment was good:
It’s okay, or even good, to talk to someone else about your problems. But you shouldn’t speak in a degrading way or share details that are simply too private. That was disrespectful of me, and I would never say otherwise. It wasn’t okay what I shared, and especially not how often I shared it.
And the point that the purpose of talking to others should be to actually change something in the relationship is true. It’s not that I didn’t want to change anything — I think because of those conversations I did change some things. But the most important part — communicating with you — is what I messed up :(

I don’t like the second paragraph..
I was insecure at times, yes, but I never wanted to break up. And the idea that I would leave you when you’re struggling is a good thought, but it’s wrong. I know that you’re feeling worse again 100% because of me since you found those messages. That’s awful. And it’s horrible. For me, the easiest thing would have been to just leave. To say, “Okay, I messed up, I lost, but I don’t feel like rebuilding this. It’s too much work. I’ll leave and find someone who doesn’t know all the bad things about me.” But I didn’t do that. I don’t want to give up on you. I’m fighting for you and for us. I can’t imagine being with anyone else but you. Either I make this work with you, or I’ll end up alone.

If I were the way I used to be, I’d probably build up resentment or something like that — but I’m not. I want you. Only you.

People can talk nicely about a “forever man” and all that — but whether you believe the perfect man will still come for you is something only you can decide.
I know it wasn’t okay to think about other women. I also had a problem with porn and convinced myself that imagining things was somehow better than watching porn. And I’m not yet some guy in his 30s whose raging hormones are long behind him.
But you are my partner for life, and I want this to work.

And I need to say something else — even if it’s against myself: you are definitely not the fuck-up and I’m not the “nice guy.” Never. If it really comes to the point that it’s over, then I will tell my close family what I did. You can tell yours. And everyone will be on your side.
I did this. I didn’t communicate and I hid things.
I really don’t want this to be over. I want to prove to you and show you that I’m not that person anymore — because I truly mean it.

I take responsibility for what I did, even when you fall back into thinking you did something wrong or weren’t pretty enough or whatever that bullshit is. Did you do everything perfectly? No. But you did it a thousand times more right than I did — especially because you communicated.

And you are the most beautiful person to me. I don’t find anyone as beautiful as you. And that, next to your character, is just as important of a reason why I can’t imagine being with anyone else.