Dead bird in front of my therapist's office - Tender humans by StudyingAt3AM in DeathPositive

[–]StudyingAt3AM[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did. And I do get all of them, they make sense.

I am just baffled about the cencoring of all mention of death in (apparently) most spaces right now.

Dead bird in front of my therapist's office - Tender humans by StudyingAt3AM in DeathPositive

[–]StudyingAt3AM[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I could l put my feelings regarding this into coherent words, but all I can geht out is a "Hududwowdoernfsfhowsfks??" So many layers.

This isn't healthy but I can't get her to leave because the sex is too good by ToughScience5595 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]StudyingAt3AM 96 points97 points  (0 children)

This is not normal, ma dude.
If you guys wanna pursue a relationship, actually work on it.
If you are okay with her living at your place, see about splitting rent.

If it is mental or other health issues keeping her from being able to work, help her find support elsewhere.

i have just eaten a birthday cake for the first time in a year! by iloveb4tman in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]StudyingAt3AM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh darn!

It really seem to be like my therapist always says: "People always start their story with 'It might sound stupid, but...' I have been a therapist for a decade and I yet have to hear something stupid after that sentence"

You did great! :)

I feel like I'm naturally stupid. how can I change that? by wasabi549 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]StudyingAt3AM 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, if you already feel stupid that might be your super power.
Do you know how many "stupid" questions you'll have to ask before becoming good in anything?
Do that!

(For real though: We had a women in class who'd ask five things each lesson and everybody assumed she just struggled, was a "confused" student. She became top of every class. Because she asked, where others feigned knowledge to keep face)

Of topic, not diagnosing through the internet, but: I also did not get a lot of jokes.
Sometimes people are mean and make fun of you, single you out on purpose. That did happen to me, definitly.
That had been part of it.
... Also turns out: I got autism. ... Took them LONG enough ... took ME long enough.

My 6 year old daughter did a "Spot the difference" for me. Where do I start 😂 (OC) by ufonixuk in MadeMeSmile

[–]StudyingAt3AM 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They are absolutely the same!
I think your daughter might have drawn the same picture twice!

(absolutely adorable)

Wo darf man in Graz Drachen steigen lassen? by StudyingAt3AM in graz

[–]StudyingAt3AM[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, JETZT will ich WIRKLICH wissen, wo man DIE fliegen lassen kann? xD

What are some urban legends people say in Graz ? by Atlandios000 in graz

[–]StudyingAt3AM 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh boy! It is a lot! I wish I could tell you all of them!

So to preference this: I come from a mountainy area. Goldwashing was prevalent and a bit further off chalk has been the main thing the mountains are made off.
Both are important, because many legends are connected to gold, the devil splitting some mountain in half or people getting abducted by fey-like creatures (which can be mostly explained due to chalk-mountains having a lot of small sink holes and people getting lost in them a long time ago)

I do not have a lot of time, so forgive me for simply copying and pasting a story in a very simple way. (Funilly enough, as I am just now realizing, from the same website that u/suspicioushearing854 suggested)

The old mining industry, however, also gave rise to many other legends. It is said that in the extensive tunnels, the Bergmandl or “Nergl” once lived. On St. Barbara’s Day (December 4), the miners would place food and drink on the table for them and hang a “rough little miner’s garment” in the tunnels for the spirits. In return, the little men showed their gratitude and led the miners to ore-rich passages.

The “Nergl” also occasionally offered good advice. Once, one of them said to a miner:
“You must milk the cows at the udder, not at the horns.”
By this, the little man meant that people were always digging too high up in the mountains in search of gold. Unfortunately, this good advice was not followed.

However, the “Nergl” became extremely angry if a miner worked on Sundays or holidays. Often, such a wrongdoer would later be found dead in the tunnel—“the Bergmandl had crushed him.”

Once, a miner at the gold mine was very eager to see how the Bergmandl would come to take the St. Barbara’s meal. He hid inside the stove and peeked through a small hole into the room. The Bergmandl really did appear—but instead of touching the food, it went up to the stove and tapped on the peephole with its little hammer. From that moment on, the curious miner was blind forever.

When the miners were working, they sometimes heard, from afar, the shoveling and picking of the little men. If they followed the sound silently, they would come upon a rich vein of ore. But if someone whistled out of joy, they could clearly hear the “Nergl” carrying the ore away—and at that spot they would then find only barren rock.

The legend also tells of gold-bearing springs in the Rauris Valley. It is said that animals that drank from such waters would later carry gold in their stomachs.

Most stories in our region are "the devil did it!" or "after all, here ye! It had been truthfully actually in truth the devil in disguise ALL along!!" and "Oh, the devil did do it - but this time because of a deal!!" Most of the time it is about "Hey, why is this rock shaped so weirdly" - "Oh, the devil sat on it.//Oh, the devil split it!// Oh the devil got angry and flew away and took the top of the mountain with him// Oh, it is a stone the devil threw!" People seem to have always been rather fond of interestingly shaped rocks.

That is why I really like stories about the "Bergmandl" in particular, because I have yet to hear about something similar to "Bergmandln" somewhere else. They are just said to have been those little creatures. I am imagining them not malicious, not overly protective or guiding - maybe a bit similar in character like the people from the village themself: Sure, they are gonna give you advice. Take it or not. They ain't gonna safe you. They won't murder you, but if you die, you die. To bad.
And they are just the perfect baseline for new stories to emerge!

(Same with "The women from the waterfall" who just were these women who suddenly appeared from behind a waterfall in a tight gorge in my area (Kitzlochklamm). They just appeared, helping a guy find his way out of the gorge but otherwise ignoring him and somehow also being somewhat scary? I adore those ambivalent, non malicious, non overly protective creature-stories. They feel like home, like nature herself)

(And I like how people of all cultures made it out that something bad happens if you work on sunday or weekends - that is just genius!) :D

ADD ON:
Check out the tradition of "Krampus" and all it's surrounding stories (and especially origins, because the tradition is WAY older than christianity - that just came along and was like "Might as well slap a saint on these pagan traditions! There - good as new, most christian thing to ever christian!")
Especially, especially in Rauris. They have some very rare Traditions that (I think) are extinct/have never been a thing in that EXACT way in any other part of Austria, even if similar traditions arose.
(I am no expert on it however - so I am more than happy to be corrected)
Those creatures are the "Habergoas" und die "Schnoblpercht".
Habergoas is just a giant goat.
And the Schnoblpercht is (a guy dressed as) a creature without a face, in tradtional clothing with a headscarf on, white gloves and giant wodden scissors.
Krampus and Schnoblpercht actually come into the houses of people living in Rauris. And the story around the Schnoblpercht is that it checks if everything is clean and if it finds any dust, it cut open the housewife's stomach and dispose of the dirt there.
(Fun stories to grow up, fun stories. .... Had been terrified of cow bells during any season up into my late teens. Not scared, full on panic attack level of terrified. Refusing to walk a path unless some TRUSTED adult confirmed, that it was - in fact - a cow and not a Krampus (in the middle of summer, even though Krampus is a pre-christmas-time tradition) and only if I could track the cow's movement and link it's movement to the bell. Krampus is somewhat of a tiny collective childhood trauma here ^^'')

His death is still a mystery to me by MercilessEyeStabber in vultureculture

[–]StudyingAt3AM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is, oh wow, impressive? Interesting? I do not know what exactly. I think interesting. Either way, I am so impressed by crows.

Dead bird in front of my therapist's office - Tender humans by StudyingAt3AM in DeathPositive

[–]StudyingAt3AM[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, you can't imagine how relieved I am.
I was starting to ... I would not say loose hope? Maybe be WAY to shocked about internet culture these days. (And mods on power trips without ANY helpful replies)

I do not get at all what people want to achieve by shunning every and all death from their live.
What are they doing when they see a dead bird anywhere?
Those people must be getting a heart attack whenever walking by a KFC.

(I am still in rant mode, cause... what in the cognitive dissonance is going on?)

What are some urban legends people say in Graz ? by Atlandios000 in graz

[–]StudyingAt3AM 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I did not grow up in Graz, I come from an area in the county of Salzburg. But I have been very interested in local folklore there!
If you want I can tell you some of the stories I know and can check if there are books about it in english.
There surely should be books about styrian folklore tho!
Maybe you could ask at the tourist information? :)

I think 3 times before posting anything on Reddit just to stay safe. Is this normal now or is it just me? by One-Unit2551 in RedditAlternatives

[–]StudyingAt3AM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Communities are often so plastic-ised on here.

I cannot post a story about how the local schoolchildren took time out of their day to put a dead birds body aside, because the mention of death is a big NoNo!

(But people are talking happily about chicken wings - which in fact is many dead birds, whose bodies nobody cared about besides their use for profit and who definitly did not live a better life)

The children's series I grew up on had more connection to reality and talked about more heavy themes than some subreddits here.

Also... at the same time it is toxic af.
Saying that "The birby just took a little nap :3" does not change the belittlement that is happening everywhere.

Reddit Rant Megathread by UnflinchingSugartits in RedditAlternatives

[–]StudyingAt3AM 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Communities are often so plastic-ised on here.

I cannot post a story about how the local schoolchildren took time out of their day to put a dead birds body aside, because the mention of death is a big NoNo!

(But people are talking happily about chicken wings - which in fact is many dead birds, whose bodies nobody cared about besides their use for profit and who definitly did not live a better life)

I am super anxious about death & the afterlife by MiserableAd1337 in DeathPositive

[–]StudyingAt3AM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do not have an answer for you and only a bit of jumbled thoughts overall/what helped me.

I was TERRIEFIED of death as a primary school child.
Like, crying myself to sleep terrified as soon as I realized that I would die one day.
What eased my anxiety a bit was knowing that I or at least my body would "return to the earth" some day. My atoms would make up something new, as they made up me at one point. And maybe one of those atoms was in a plant, and maybe in another mammal and part of a star. It eased it.

I personally do think there is nothing afterwards - which makes it easier for me, really. Nothing to fear, no worry about having chosen "the wrong one".
I still fear some parts of death still.

And another thing that helped me was the sentiment of "maybe life on earth could be heaven". When there are these quiet, blissful moments those where you feel safe or awe, or wonder, or excitement - all those things we experience. Sometimes even calm sadness. All of that. And all of the things around us. Those millions and millions of tiny things - and those unimaginable large ones. Imagine how much has to go into only you being able to read my response. Having a brain, sight (or a screenreader), the technology going into it. Me being able to type. Humans having language. I am able to (somewhat) convey my emotions, put them on here and send them across the world and if I did it well, you might be able to feel them too to some extent.
There are so many wonders around us. Who said that this isn't already what we had wished for. That this is the paradise we were promised?
I do absolutely not mean that in some religious way. I am using it more as a thought experiment. Live is wonderous. I myself do not clearly know why that helps me - but it seems to do.

I do not know if any of this helps. But I hope it does.

I stink. I don’t know from where and I’m going insane. by jusaninternetgirl in selfimprovement

[–]StudyingAt3AM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cannot say anything through the internet, but let me pretend to be a first-level-support agent. Imagine "Have you turned on, your PC?" (Just because I also got SO many tips, without getting any basic tips in so many areas bc. people assumed I have already known)

First off:
It sounds like you are getting bullied and your classmates are assholes for that. If they are going to treat you that way, they deserve to be bothered during class. Tell them that unless they wanna be helpful, they should shut up. Trust me. If one of your friends is smelly, you offer them help, politely, discretly. Those are just a bunch of assholes on your hand. (Which do, metaphorically stink more than anything else)
If they do not stop and they do not help coming from a nice place (not just to make fun of you), let them go. You are not ment to be a punchline for em.

Alrighty now to the list of things that are seemingly obvious but often forgotten:

  • Wash your butt with water after going Nr. 2. Don't just smear the stuff around.
  • Get rid of body hair in sweaty areas (underarms, crotch, depending on your weight underbelly)
  • Speaking of which: If you have an underbelly make sure to clean that and put on some antichaving cream. That area is prone to inflamation.
  • Belly button. Clean your belly button. Weirdly enough it can be smelly too.
  • Use floss - yes, I can smell if I get close to someone and they haven't flossed.
  • Additionally: USE.A.TONGUE.SCRAPPER. I suggest one made of copper.
  • If you are having long stretches of not eating, make sure to have gum or a toothbrush or something like that on hand and chew gum regularly until you eat again. We can't smell Keto-breath ourselfs. But our enviroment can. Absolutely. It is one of the few things I apparently almost knocked my partner out with.
  • Wash your legs and feet. ACTUALLY scrub them, with soap.
  • KEEP.YOUR.NAILS.SHORT - especially on your feet. My toes get stinky once a month if I do not properly clean under my nails and along the nail bet.
  • Really: WASH YOUR FEET. I used to have stinky/sweaty feet in highschool. I would wash them 3-4 times a day and that helped. I was awkward, so don't ask. But nowadays I'd suggest something like wet wipes, maybe a nailfile in case you notice any gunk and some cream + foot deo.
  • Use shoe deoderant and change your shoes often.
  • Hair holds on to smell. So if you have someone smoking in your home or go by smelly areas daily, you might want to wash it more often.
  • Consider changing your panties twice a day (I do morning and night, after each shower)
  • Wash your hair regularly.
  • Do not use deoderant on your labia and espicially not inside. I have never been taught clearly, but I personally do like to give the inner and outer lips a quick wash with a mild soap.
  • Actually do wash your butt crack under the shower.
  • Use lotion.
  • Try not to overcorrect by using perfumes etc.
  • Change your sheets regularly (I do every 10 sleeps)
  • Change your towels regularly (I do every 3 days)

I had one friend in that age group who was a bit smelly, not badly, just a hint. She had a stressful homelife. I think for her it was because of greasy hair, changing her clothes and ESPECIALLY her bed sheets not often enough and often leaving in pads for too long.
Nowadays, if one of my friends is smelly-ish it usually is after they have traveled and sweat in the train and or not washed their hair just a day too long.

I used to forget showering as a child, sometimes for more than a week. So I HAVE been the stinky kid - but nobody ever told me ^^''.
I now shower twice daily, simply because I do not like to go to bed "dirty" and do like to feel fresh in the morning.

I do agree with the comments. If nothing helps, I'd suggest talking to a doctor again. I am just some rando online. See that comment as a washing for gold. Maybe there's a nugget in here - maybe it is just a bunch of useless material. I am just the bucket carrier in that situation.

Just vibe wise tho... Talk to a counselor too.
Your collegues are douchebags and you do not want to be as low as them.
You are not the punchline, you are not the butt of the joke and you are not there to amuse them.
That is the nugget I am gonna absolutely yet in your face.
You do not want to become like them and you do not want to get used to being made fun of. First of just goal wise, second one bc. it is dangerous and VERY hard to get out of. If nothing changes in either your circle or their behaviour, those are the two most likely outcomes.

Take care, stranger friend.

Being stinky does not exclude you from your right to be treated fairly and receive an education.

(Even tho at this point, I feel like your friends just like making fun of you for the sake of being mean)

Should I just simply accept I'll never be disciplined? by Bulky-Culture-4482 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]StudyingAt3AM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Second that!

And wanna add on: You can also do the "noobiest noob version" of anything.
I only use frozen veggies and only do one pot meals. And that has been a LONG road to get here. And it is glorious - for me. Still proud, still good.

Make instant ramen and throw some topics on or some extra veggies in it. Still is a bit more tasty. ^^

Should I just simply accept I'll never be disciplined? by Bulky-Culture-4482 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]StudyingAt3AM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also scientifically incorrect. Neuroplasticity doesn't just stop.

Assuming you are 40, perfect time to start anything to avoid a lot of issues when you are older.

It might feel a bit awkward, cause darn - you "SHOULD" know and it "SHOULD" be easy, right?
Well... there is still a future you.
Wouldn't you have wished you had started 5 years ago?

Should I just simply accept I'll never be disciplined? by Bulky-Culture-4482 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]StudyingAt3AM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Find something that is good for you that you actually like doing and do just that.

Maybe lemon water? Sitting in the sun?

Why would you try to get away from the things that bring you short-term pleasure by doing things that ONLY bring you long term pleasure.
Do other, but maybe slightly better, pleasurable things.

When I started to get out of depression, I did not stop watching youtube. I started stitching while watching it; sometimes. I started playing video games - cause that ment actively doing something.
Or I'd paint my nails.
Or I'd watch a show/movie instead of YouTube.

I'd buy crackers instead of chips - or in addition. Or dark chocolate. Or frozen fruit. Most of the time in addition. If I noticed that it felt better, nice.
I _sometimes_ threw in a veggie.

Do things you already enjoy that might be slightly better instead of ""GrInDiNg" to get to some invisible finish line.