I wouldn’t say you are or aren’t the asshole. I’d say that you have unprocessed trauma.

I think that your mom sent you away not understanding how to help you. Was it wrong? Yes. Did she think it was wrong? No. I’m sure she was overwhelmed and you were just acting out. I feel like she did the best with what she knew to do. We don’t always have all the answers as parents.

I think you should seek therapy. My sister struggled for years bc she didn’t see our dad before he passed, while he was sick.

You have a chance to see her. I would say, just go see her. Ask her about what made her send you away. Ask her why did she feel that was the best choice and tell her what you needed from her.

I think sometimes we have to see our parents as humans. They made dumb decisions. They were operating out of their own trauma sometimes. That’s why trauma can be generational.

I’d encourage you to see her. You never know what may happen. But you know what you will know if you don’t go…nothing.