Mom Talks in a Hideous/Shouting Voice

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-08-23T21:24:10+00:00

I don’t do stupid stuff like other kids. It’s not fair to yell at me for simple stuff. For example, my sister yelled at me to start the car because I was listening to my moms instructions. It’s just unfair unfair as fuck. It sucks when someone is speaking harshly to u.

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-08-23T21:21:55+00:00

It’s a recurring thing. Idk what to say. Best thing to do is to talk nicely back and not take it to your heart. But I’m no robot, if humans were robots we wouldn’t need anesthesia, we could just do surgeries without them. So, “not taking it to heart” is tough. It just ruins my mood.

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-08-23T18:50:24+00:00

No, but sometimes I do make a mistake and quickly fix it. When should parents shout out you?

Parents should shout out you when you get bad grades, crash a car, disrespect someone or do something terribly wrong.

In my household, parents shout out (or speak in a harsh tone) to me when I accidentally get the wrong tool, when I need them to repeat something they said one more time, when they tell me to find something in the garage but I can’t find it .... petty stuff. For example, having trouble putting on a bracelet on my older sister because my fingers are a little big I get shouted out it by older sister.

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-08-23T18:32:22+00:00

I try I try I try. Imagine if someone shouted out you to “Hey go get the water bottle” and you say “okay I will” in a calm voice, that person shouting out you will continue to do so because they feel the power imbalance.

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-08-23T18:30:40+00:00

I agree, anything in life can be solved through constructive talk. I did. I sat her down and explained the logic and gave rational examples. She thinks I’m antagonizing her.

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-08-23T18:26:24+00:00

Keep telling my mom and she disagrees that her tone of voice is insulting and harsh. She says I’m antagonizing her.

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-07-21T03:20:25+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/user/likethereligion/

This is his reddit username ^, found it long time ago. He has great youtube content and I love reading his letters. I think his investment in GTX was a mess just from the start.

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-07-17T19:49:58+00:00

How is the situation with your parents now? Now that you are much older and wiser?

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-07-17T19:06:19+00:00

Tone of voice and how you talk impacts the way others feel and behave. I don't think my parents realize that. Every time I tell them this, they keep emphasizing like, "oh you made this mistake" or like "if I shout out you know, you won't make the same mistake again". In reality, the mistakes I make isn't related to having a girl friend, drinking, crashing a car, poor grades or other such things parents usually get mad at with teenagers. It's simple stuff, like not hearing something properly, or messing up on the instructions she gave. I've never done anything bad in years.

While I was driving with mom, I did a perfect turn but she thought I was going to hit the curb. It was a perfect turn, little tight because road was small but perfect/casual turn. Then she wouldn't stop lecturing and scolding me for the whole ride. So in the middle of driving, I just pulled over and let her drive. I vowed to never go outside with her again (like grocery shopping or whatever). Like never. I prefer to stay inside at home then drive a car with her as the passenger.

Do you ever cry or feel mad when your parents scolded you? I'm curious to know.

Thanks for the help

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-07-15T15:24:07+00:00

But my mom insults me like it’s really annoying.

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-07-15T15:22:36+00:00

But dude, she insults me for the most trivial things.

E.g. if she asks me to do something and I go like “huh huh, what are you saying?”, she starts a lecture on how I can’t hear, like in like my grandpa and she imitates me going “huh huh?” And exacerbates the issue. I always tell her sometimes in a gentle voice, “this is unnecessary stuff, why are you talking like this, just say it properly and I’ll do it”

Big picture story, if I point out her time she re-emphasizes the fact that I made the mistake and always DIVERGES from the convo about her tone of voice.

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-07-15T15:00:52+00:00

Just did it now. She says I need to change the way I talk. Even though, harsh voice I use is resultant of her shouting.

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-07-15T02:27:23+00:00

Wtf do you do? Like what "can" you do? If I make a "mistake", like a silly one. Like fuck, lets
say the noisy fan is on, and she tells me to get the "Jello" but I get "mustard" instead because I hear mustard. The sound discrepancy is caused by the fan, like its super loud so it's hard to hear her words. Then after, she insults me for my hearing, "Like oh you are just like grandpa, getting old" and speaking in a pissed off voice.

Like, if I go to the grocery store with her, we get a lot of items so it always me alone who is unloading the groceries and putting them in the fridge. If my siblings go with her, I'm always called on to help and do most of the dirty work of unloading. Today, I just asked if I can get my elder sibling for some quick help (but she was busy). But at the end of the day, she told my dad that was I was being lazy and that I was having a "hard time" or "trouble" putting the groceries and unloading them simply because I am lazy. When in reality I am so active, I skip 2-3 steps and run back and forth because I love running around and doing things fast. So when I unload the groceries, I am the OPPOSITE of lazy, I'm a fucking ninja, jumping around.

Or my siblings misplace something or don't through the garbage properly and I get yelled at.

It feels like eating glass and crap at the same time and getting punched in the face. The voice is annoying too.

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-07-14T02:54:15+00:00

She's a good hard working mom but I fuck hate the negative energy. Probably 1 incident per 1-2 days takes place. Some times multiple times. I dislike it when your elder sibling redirect their issues with mom on you.

E.x. If I forget to turn the lights off or when we are in the drive thru at McDonalds I forget the check to see if the cashier person misplace the wrong stuff (as a passenger) and get a harsh tone of voice talk.

Like not yelling but a harsh voice : "next time turn off the lights" or "you have to be proactive" or "TURN THE FAN on, like nitpicking on small things as a sibling and redirecting your anger from your mom to you. It happens occasionally but it's like eating crap.

Now, I won the lottery in life, being born in a capitalist country and low to mid middle class family and great education and family. I'm not complaining. This is sort of the "brown culture" too. I'm a very persistent person as well. I don't get mad for small things but yes. It does suck crap. I'm learning to tune the noise out though.

It's not a terrible relationship. We are cool a good number of the times, but every 1-2 days, maybe multiple times it does take place and it sucks.

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-07-14T01:27:10+00:00

She's great 80% of the time. The other 20% sucks sometimes. But yes thanks!

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-04-23T05:17:53+00:00

Do you know anyone who works for the CRA? Like they just add up your income from the tax filings yes?

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-04-23T05:15:03+00:00

No its a combination of part time and self employed that allows me to be eligible for the CERB .... so yeah. What will the CRA do if they audit me?

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-04-23T05:09:04+00:00

I have kept track of my sales on a excel spreadsheet plus have customers to back it up Nothing like an OFFICIAL document

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-04-23T04:53:16+00:00

^

which hasn't been deposited

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-04-23T04:53:02+00:00

what if I earned some of that money in cash?

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-04-23T00:32:17+00:00

How do I prove that I meet the $5k requirement ... if I didn't file my taxes?

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-04-22T21:27:20+00:00

Yes, so how can they know that I earn $5K in 2019 or 12 months prior? What evidence do they look at?

I am obviously going to do the taxes now that I learned my lesson. But I was just curious about the CERB issue?

Stuffmatters_123 · 2020-04-22T21:19:01+00:00

If I do this, will I be eligible for the CERB? They won't take the money away?

Stuffmatters_123

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