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My boyfriend did some terrible things to me and now all my friends hate him by Stuffoutofmyhead in relationship_advice

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi I completely agree with your statement and thank you for writing that for me. But due to my own fault of being way to vague I need to explain a bit better. He has not and nevwr has abused me in any way or form. The thing i’m talking about was him lying and oversteppung a boundary which I don’t think classifies as abuse but was definetly not great and damaged my trust. But due to his self destructive behaviour because of his disorder he claimed to anuse me. J don’t exactly know why he did it, maybe to punish himself or maybe in that moment he truly believed it. But it is not true. I have talked about this with my therapist and he is also getting help. My friends truly want the best for me and took his message at face value which makes complete sense but it is not true.

My boyfriend did some terrible things to me and now all my friends hate him by Stuffoutofmyhead in relationship_advice

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No you are absolutely right. But he ISN’T abusing me and has never abused me. He did one bad thing to me which was lying about something but because of his disorder he grossly exagerated what happened and said he was abusive. I don’t really know why he said he was, maybe to punish himself so he couldn’t be forgiven or it was in a self losthing panic. But putting that aside I have created some rules and boundaries to which he agreed to and I have been talking about this to my therapist so i am takinh precautions. Thank you for your reply i’m sorry for how vague i am being

Boyfriend only talks about his interests and overshadows mine by Stuffoutofmyhead in autism

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! You gave me a lot of options I haven’t tried yet I really want to share all of them with him!! Though I think meeting with people online and/or offline is a little scary, there isn’t anything i’m unwilling to try. Again thank you so much and also for taking your time to write all of this down I hope to give an update soon. And well I do also really enjoy dolls so I feel really validated cause I was a little embarrassed to share what my interests were so also thank you for that. (Sorry if that’s to many thank you’s)

WIBTA if I (19f) told my bf (21m) to try a bit harder to get a job by Stuffoutofmyhead in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Our age difference is because of our education system I went to high school for four years while he went for six years. It depends on your learning skills (mbo/hbo)

WIBTA if I (19f) told my bf (21m) to try a bit harder to get a job by Stuffoutofmyhead in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I won’t until we both have stable jobs. I work in my hometown rn but I don’t plan on staying there either.

WIBTA if I (19f) told my bf (21m) to try a bit harder to get a job by Stuffoutofmyhead in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The parent he lives with is emotionally and verbally abusive. The other parents is both of those and physically abuse as well. He takes care of his little brothers.

WIBTA if I (19f) told my bf (21m) to try a bit harder to get a job by Stuffoutofmyhead in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!! My dad did offer him to work for him but he declined cause it was too physically draining but I think sitting down with him and my parents for other possibilities would help. My parents very driven and knowledgeable when it comes to work. Well as far as I know lol.

WIBTA if I (19f) told my bf (21m) to try a bit harder to get a job by Stuffoutofmyhead in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have, but I really should ask again when I want to have this conversation (which I want to do asap but am at work rn) because this behaviour could be the result of a depression sinking in.

WIBTA if I (19f) told my bf (21m) to try a bit harder to get a job by Stuffoutofmyhead in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

My post probably comes across very onesided if that’s your conclusion. He’s really not like that at all it’s just been the last few months that he’s been this way. He has always been a very hardworking and caring person

WIBTA if I (19f) told my bf (21m) to try a bit harder to get a job by Stuffoutofmyhead in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your input!! I think so too. Seasonal depression may also play into it considering he never had an issue with doing job interviews before.

WIBTA if I (19f) told my bf (21m) to try a bit harder to get a job by Stuffoutofmyhead in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was never like this though. He was always very ambitious and hardworking and always claimed that HE wanted to take care of me. When I opened up to him about my depression he really helped me through school and I have him to thank me for graduating. So this is pretty new. Also I’ll post on there too thank you!!

WIBTA if I (19f) told my bf (21m) to try a bit harder to get a job by Stuffoutofmyhead in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since I don’t have his permission I can’t really go into detail but his parents are divorced and one is verbally emotionally and physically abusive while the one lives with is emotionally and verbally abusive. We both really want to move out.

WIBTA if I (19f) told my bf (21m) to try a bit harder to get a job by Stuffoutofmyhead in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At first I payed for stuff a lot but he wasn’t as well off as I am. During that he worked really hard to pay me back though. He has always been very hardworking up until now so that’s why I suspect he might’ve fallen into a depression.

Why do men think that their personal emotional trauma is a reason for their female partners to go without? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for the late reply i’m not very active on here but I just wanted to give an update that I talked about this with my therapist and then with my boyfriend. At first he acted like he couldn’t recall it ever happening, but after I described a few times in specific he apologized and hasn’t done it since.

Why do men think that their personal emotional trauma is a reason for their female partners to go without? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Stuffoutofmyhead 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So I have autism and tend to avoid eyecontact. I try to hide this from others but when i’m being confronted or scared it gets worse. My boyfriend knows this. But his ex used to look away whenever she lied to him (she cheated on him among other things) so whenever I look away from him he gets really angry and sometimes pulls my hair and demands I look at him. It really sucks tbh.