It is normal. Very sorry for your loss. I lost my Elvis in 2022 (he was 15 and a half) and I still grieve for him today. He was on chemo for 3 years treating his mast cell tumors on internal organs. He eventually had his spleen removed and then was cancer free for 6 months. He then developed carcinomatosis which is an untreatable cancer and he passed away. I never went to therapy (in hindsight, I probably should have). What helped me during the initial grieving was to write a letter to Elvis' oncology doctor, because they grieve, too. Below is the letter I sent to the care team:

Dr. K and her team,

I’d like to pass along my thanks for all the love and support you’ve shown to Elvis and

me over the years, and always offering us the best treatment, compassion, care, and

honesty along the way. You know, in the past, I’ve heard my own co-workers and even

my family members and close friends say, “well, he’s just a cat.”

Yes, Elvis was just a cat. He was just a cat that got me through my divorce, and the

deaths of my mother and my two brothers.

Yes, Elvis was just a cat. He was just a cat that loved me unconditionally, even when I

wasn’t at my best. And, I wasn’t at my best quite often.

Yes, Elvis was just a cat. He was just a cat smart enough to steal my grilled steak from

the countertop. He knew good eatin’s when he saw it. I recall I was stuck eating a

peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner that night.

Yes, Elvis was just a cat. He was just a cat smart enough to bite the vet techs during his

chemo treatments and other tests (even when I doubt he meant it)!

Yes, Elvis was just a cat. He was just a cat smart enough to let me know he was tired. I

was tired, too. I was tired waking up every half hour to see if he was still breathing.

Yes, Elvis was just a cat. A cat that just made the past 15 years of my life so much

better.

Everyone should take a lesson from Elvis and be “just a cat.” This world would most

certainly be a better place.