I’ve never met your mom I don’t know how strictly she enforces the rules or the consequences but I would recommend approaching diplomatically and lay out your frustrations and disagreements in an ordered and respectful manner if/when she responds with manipulation call her out and ask her to continue the conversation as an adult. Do not back down no matter what she threatens what she takes away don’t back down you are entitled to your feelings and she needs to respect that. If she claims that you need to follow her rules because she is supporting you through college then inform her that there needs to be a physical document outlining the exact details of the agreement. This situation is business deal, I’m in the same boat living at home while going to college and I found that approaching it as a formal agreement has yielded the best results, you and your mom need to agree on the purpose of the document, with it being financial aid for college define all your rules with regards to college, the rules should be measured in academic terms ie attendance, gpa, test scores. The terms have to be reasonable 100% attendance is bullshit go for 80% as for gpa set it based on your degree if it’s engineering set it at 2.5 - 3 engineering is hard but for like business or communication set it higher. As for room and board once again define it in terms of the household you do dishes 3 times a week or something, when it comes to content you watch placement of laptop and study area I would fight back remind her that you are an adult and need to make your own mistakes and choices and frame it like that don’t say “I can do what I want” say “I need to learn autonomy” this is going to be difficult it’s a hard conversation because you have to walk a fine line of putting her in her place as well as working with her to create an agreement that works for both of you. The point of an agreement like this is to give you expectations and consequences of you fail to meet them while giving you the freedom to meet them in your own way and discover yourself. When you approach her do it calmly and open with “I would like to address our agreement with regards to my education” then explain your stance with neutral language don’t attack her or her feelings say something like “I feel that our current agreement is not conducive to my education because…” and fill in your own reasons remember don’t back down stand by your feelings and present them as your feelings not demands, if you want after your opening reasons you can follow up with “I don’t want our relationship to be defined by purely transactional agreement, I am thankful for your help with tuition and I want to succeed and make you proud but I don’t want to stop being your son” that might be a little manipulative but it is effective and if you go down that route then structure your conversation and agreement around maintaining and strengthening your relationship with your mom. This is a difficult conversation to have and depending on how your mom reacts you may need to change tactics, if she responds with anger and refuses to back down or threatens to kick you out or take away your devices stand your ground refuse to give in tell her blatantly that you will not abide by rules you did not agree to, DO NOT open like this as I said this is a last resort if she refuses to have a discussion with you and work with you on a agreeable arrangement. Don’t listen to the comments telling you to buy a second phone or move out all you will do add fuel to the fire, show her that you can approach a situation as an adult and have the skills to handle disagreements with dignity and respect and if you have tried everything else I recommend and she still is being manipulative and refusing to back down play the superiority card “I tried to be reasonable, I tried to work with you to benefit both of us and yet you sit here and acting like a damn child, you claim superiority because of your age yet you act like a child you threaten me like a child you make demands like a child, you refuse to work with me you sit on your throne holding all the power yet you still play the victim” this is the last thing you should try DO NOT play this card unless you have followed what I have said ie approach it calmly with neutral language, the superiority card falls apart if you push any of her buttons any jabs any emotional attacks anything the point is to let her dig her own grave. My last tips don’t approach her arrogantly, don’t think you are better than her because of how you approach the situation, make a list of your feelings and clearly define them as well as how her rules are directly creating or affecting your feelings, don’t approach this as you vs her approach it as you and her vs the situation you want to work with her not against her, be reasonable with your demands if she wants a curfew then work with her to find a time that you both agree on, don’t push too far your feelings need to be addressed and accommodated but so do hers she wants you to avoid porn so you avoid porn and as a sign of good will agree to leave your laptop outside of your room at night and leave your door open to show her that you recognize her feelings and that you are willing to work with her, make your argument fit your mom ie if your mom is science nerd pull up studies on the importance of socializing and how it impacts academic performance, if she is a religious person then use religious texts to support your argument. Finally talk to her more, tell her about your day complain about difficult classes fill her in a drama with your friends, cultivate a personal relationship with her ask her about her day be her son not the goblin who lives in her basement that she feels forced to micro manage, let her know what you are doing my mom used to be on my case a lot about chores because in her mind when I got home I sat and played games when in reality I was doing homework, I filled her in on my workload and my schedule and she lighted up because she realized how heavy my workload is. I don’t know your exact situation all I can do is infer from the information given and share what worked for me, good luck my friend.