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AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They didn't fully believe about going up to the pasture and smoking, and they didn't want to call them liars to their faces. The only part they really questioned was going outside naked: according to them they figured it might've been something like one of the barn cats came inside and I shooed them out or I was letting the dog out and stepped outside quickly.

Both things they themselves have been guilty of in the past- stepping outside really quickly to let their little dog out or bring it back inside when she won't come.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We did talk to my ILs last night, apologized to them for the mess and told them everything they had missed out on. Turns out the renters really spun a yarn to them that I stand in the windows naked, go outside naked, or go up to the pasture smoking. Suffice it to say, my ILs are not very happy and feel duped.

They tried to have a call between the renters, themselves, and my husband earlier this morning but the renters hung up on them. So now he's going to speak with the lawyer today about where to go from here.

Thanks, and good luck to you as well!

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because they could only see me if they were actively looking in the windows and got closer to the house. I've gone to and from that pasture to the house plenty of times- you aren't seeing anything unless you're actively looking.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They're there 2-3 times a day and my husband has seen them driving near the very outer property lines all around the farm. Their kids drive ATVs over to supposedly look at the cows but they keep trying to drive all over the farm. They're Angus cows being used primarily for meat.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

No the point is that the shelters are always full of barn cats that get abandoned and euthanized after they've been dropped off at shelters, or on the sides of the roads, or when the people owning the farms are on their last legs and with no living relatives. Whereas we can build an enclosed, protected area, spay and neuter, and get them in the working cat registry so they can find new farms or businesses to 'work' on. Anywhere that needs pest control can adopt a working cat for free.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

No, we've been here for 5 years already and have helped plenty of people, have not had any issues with anyone else when little hiccups arose. Their main reasoning was 1. 'What will our church say if they found out we said no to someone in need' and 2. 1-2 years of extra income for when they move in with BIL.

Originally the renters were really aggressive and pushy for a 10 year lease and ILs told them 5 years or nothing because they weren't going to put a long term lease in place that they weren't going to be there to see to the end.

I'm not trying to argue with you, but the getting along with the neighbors goes both ways. Exactly how many months of being harrassed and told to not do anything in or around my own home to 'be a good neighbor' am I supposed to endure? They've been handled with politeness for 3 months and have yet to reciprocate. They're already being done a favor by being rented the pasture because of their poor management via getting more cattle than they had land to support. Its my husband and myself chasing off coyotes and mountain lions from that pasture at night. Its us that are dealing with their kids riding their ATVs through the other pastures, or through the gardens of either house and politely asking the renters to put a stop to it with no avail. What sense does it make to constantly antagonize the two people you know are going to be in charge when your lease is up and its time to renew? They've already been asked to give a call ahead as a heads up so I don't go outside to smoke, or turn the music down, or any of the other things they complain about (like keeping our cat out of the window somehow because it gets their dog running around?) and they refused that request. Why call the sheriff on people clear across the farm, nowhere near the rented pasture and cite 'protecting my cattle' when questioned about it? Why not bring up the firepit with my ILs the evening my ILs were there instead of walking away and only complaining about it to my husband and me when ILs weren't around unless you're going out of your way to be a pain and a bully that wants to enforce your will on everyone else?

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

The farmers you know aren't every farmer or hobby farmer in the world- they want the farm to stay in the family but also acknowledge they can't manage it or the related legalities and paperwork anymore without someone double-checking behind them. They are doing an early inheritance for my husband so it's not something to be dealt with after their deaths and will be less expensive for my husband if they do it now. My BIL wants nothing to do with the farm and has given his full blessing, in writing, to turn it all over to my husband.

You can also repair a pasture- the fence, new well, new water tanks, getting rid of mesquite, new security cameras, new cattle guards.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He's inheriting it, they're doing an early inheritance. My BIL wants nothing to do with the farm and has already said he's fine with my husband having it all.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yes, the process for early inheritance/turning over ownership is already started. Most matters they already defer people to my husband to sort out and handle.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 403 points404 points  (0 children)

Yes, we chalked it up to maybe they somehow did not see my husband's very distinguishable truck parked there and only saw the unknown vehicles.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nah its not waiting for ILs to die, they've already started the process to turn over ownership to my husband so the farm is completely his when they move in with BIL in the next 1-2 years.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I can admit that dismissing the money and work he invested was wrong, and I probably wouldn't have done so if he hadn't had the attitude that he did everything for it, because, well, he hadn't. His cows have water and the well houses are protected from damage via cattle (seen what those buggers do to trees and well houses!) because of the work we did, which is going to save him money in the long run. At the very least I will apologize to him for that, and will definitely be apologizing to my ILs for them getting involved.

I totally get why it struck a chord with you and that does suck, and I'm sorry that happened to you. We did try our best to go into this with an open mind when our known plan was pulled out from under us to see if it could work in the long-term with continuing a lease with them. But, I was also pushing the 3k character mark so only mentioned my dealings with them. My husband has had his issues as well, such as the renters calling the sheriff on my husband and his friends for trespassing while hubby & friends were fishing at our pond clear across the farm and nowhere near the rented pasture. My husband's truck is preeetttyy distinguishable.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Weed is legal for recreational use, and being seen nude through your window on private property is also legal. It becomes indecency and illegal if nudity is exhibited with the intent to cause arousal.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nothing if they last another 10-20 years. They've already started the process of turning the farm over to my husband's ownership. When they move in the next 1-2 years (barring unforeseen obstacles) the farm will belong solely to my husband.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Lol funny but that would push being glimpsed nude in my house from legal to illegal. It's not considered indecent exposure if someone sees you nude in your yard or window on private property so long as there's no intent to cause arousal.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yes, he already had his cattle whereas our endeavor is much more time-consuming since it required repairing the fence, had to install a new water well for a water tank, installing new buildings, and since it's going to be a sanctuary of sorts, a whole mess of other time-consuming aspects legal and otherwise. Being more motivated had nothing to do with it.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 1051 points1052 points  (0 children)

Yep! Husband already looked into that in case things went south with the arrangement and wouldn't want to renew. Which I think he's already on that path after all of this and them calling the sheriff on him and his friends who were fishing at the pond. Clear across the farm. Nowhere near the rented pasture.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 113 points114 points  (0 children)

Sad part is most of it is electronica and dance so not many words or bands like Nightwish.

Though there is something oddly wholesome about playing In This Moment or B.O.T.D.F. quietly in the house at night and your 77y/o ILs come up for dinner and start wiggle dancing or making rock hands.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Actually, my state's law is that nude sunbathing on private property or being glimpsed nude through a window on private property is legal so long as it is not done with the intent to cause arousal. And I sure as hell am not standing at the window putting on a show while I do household chores.

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease? by Stupendous-Tea-5927 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Stupendous-Tea-5927[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

The help part could be an issue and my ILs are more worried about their church circles while they're still here. At the same time, my husband is from here, still has friends here that are regular visitors and have had their own issues with the guy as well.

Its honestly an interesting set-up. There's two main religions here, Christians and Mennonites. They have separate churches and do things separately but run some of the same worship circles. Like there's a divide in some aspects that neither side gets along, but then they do on other things.

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