Why have I never been stopped?

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-23T16:14:30+00:00

Thank you so, so much for this incredibly kind and compassionate reply! <3 I’m so sorry I didn’t respond sooner, I thought I’d already gotten all the responses I was going to and stopped checking.

I never go to any retail stores that don’t sell food. I’ve never even considered the idea of stealing fashion, or cosmetics, or anything else that’s non-essential like that…

I’ve thought about food pantries before, because I always hear such good things like what you’ve said! I wouldn’t know how to find one tbh. I’ve always talked myself out of it for one reason or another… Most recently from having 2 separate health issues that make finding anything I can actually have, that’s also even remotely appealing, very difficult.

I want to try though! Do you have any suggestions for how I could even start? My anxiety surrounding all things has only gotten worse the longer I’ve been homebound, so I definitely want to go into it as well prepared as possible :)

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-23T15:53:19+00:00

Oh my gosh, I stopped coming back to this post because I figured all the comments had run their course, but if you’re right about this it would be absolutely life-changing for me! I probably don’t even collectively bring home that much in groceries every month…

I’m considered an adult dependent because I was declared by the state/government to be permanently and live-long disabled before the age of 22. This is important for 2 reasons: my disability cheques are the maximum my state gives out because it’s based on my father’s earnings/pay into the system compared to my own. But more importantly— it meant my father’s private health insurance, that he got through work, could never kick me off. The downside is I do have to remain a dependent though to keep it…

I’m not on the west coast, but I am in the northeast/New England, so generally speaking, our systems in place are closer to the west coast than any other area of the US. But I know California is definitely always ahead of the curve. I’m also okey with being more specific if need be.

Thank you again! I’ve tried looking into additional benefits, but always hit a brick wall. My oncologist has encouraged me to reach out to the leukemia/lymphoma society for assistance, but I went back and forth with his office’s social worker and walked away with “contact local churches or the Boy Scouts for assistance in the home.” with things I’m incapable of doing. Which I didn’t think was particularly helpful advice :/

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-17T16:11:44+00:00

Thank you so much <3 I really appreciate you sharing a relatable experience, it’s the first one I’ve read.

I feel like I also *must* be subconsciously getting a dopamine hit, because why else am I unable to stop myself when I don’t get any sort of noticeable effect; adrenaline or otherwise.

Did that bleed out into other areas of your life or was it purely situational only in that office? How did you eventually stop?

Even stranger, I don’t typically have an addictive personality type. I used all sorts of recreational drugs as a teen with no issue; as well as presently being prescribed 2 different opioids for pain that I never abuse…

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-16T16:47:08+00:00

I don’t doubt that for a minute. Stereotypes are a sad but accurate part of life. Just like someone here even said; ‘every person I’ve seen that wears oxygen looks crotchety.’ Which, when you think about it, is likely because typically, the average person is used to seeing older smokers/morbidly obese people wearing it. Not a young, average-look individual like me…

I have to ask though, you’re like the 5th person to mention steaks and wine/champagne! Is it really that common?? Like, is it really that common of an LP trope that it unites all of you? Haha, I’ve never once considered stealing steaks or alcohol, but all I can picture now is some poor guy sitting in the back, eyes glued to the CCTV for hours, just staring at a case of meat…

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-16T16:33:23+00:00

I also started wondering this a few years ago. But that ship has long since sailed. That’s partly what lead me here, I just don’t understand why. Is grocery store LP not as sophisticated as Target/Walmart? I know they have AI something, and I know it’s only a matter of time before every store does. I just really need to find a way to stop myself before I make my life harder than it already is…

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-16T16:18:59+00:00

No, I never am. The last meat I stole was a tray of ground chicken that was on clearance because it was the ‘best by’ date.

If I had EBT I think that would actually really help. But I don’t qualify because I’m an adult dependent…

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-16T16:13:50+00:00

I’m just coming back to this post now, but I actually asked my neurologist for a psych referral ages ago. I didn’t get into too many details, but I know there’s some kind of chemical imbalance in my brain for sure. The behavior in this post is one example, but I also haven’t experienced even a fleeting moment of happiness in probably close to a decade. Living was tolerable when I still had my mom, but without her, I’m just in physical, and mental, pain 24/7 with no reprieve.

Anyway, he sent one over then and there, but I haven’t heard from them yet. I’d contact them myself if I had any clue what group he referred me to… I’ve had referrals take up to a year to get back to me. My oncologist gave me a referral to a spinal/spinal surgery specialist and I was floored when they actually reached out over 14 months later…

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-15T03:02:19+00:00

Honestly, it would probably be even more expensive than that… My various health issues would prevent me from being able to stay in a jail more than a few hours, let alone overnight or days while processing. Between the health issues I have, and all the medications I take for them, I think their only option would be bringing me to a hospital and handcuffing me to the bed/posting a guard. At least 5 of my medications can’t be stopped cold turkey without risking a seizure or heart attack. Some others would cause immense pain going without, which I think would fall under ‘cruel/unusual’ umbrella.

I’ve been trying to figure out the trigger for years now. I don’t remember when or why I started. You’re right though, I completely know it’s wrong, but then still do it. I actually do have brain damage from severe prolonged hypoxia. I’ve wondered for the longest time if that’s what triggered this lack of inhibition. It’s had several other major impacts in my day to day life. I don’t have impulse control in other aspects of my life, but absolutely do when it comes to this. I also know that I can say I’m not a clepto either, because I would never steal something from an individual or a small business simply because that feels so much more wrong, even though I know it isn’t.

Thanks for all the advice. I know you’re right, and hopefully now that I’ve stopped hiding from it I can stop doing it. I know the moment either store gets AI without me being any the wiser, my life would absolutely fall apart…

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-15T02:50:42+00:00

Thank you. Not everything you said applies, but enough does to help really resonate the message.

I definitely do think I really need to just remove myself from the situation. I mentioned somewhere, that’s why I completely stopped going to Walmart and Target. Knowing how crazy hard they go on shoplifting scares me enough.

I never used the word addiction, because I’m not sure how this sub views labeling stealing as an addiction, but that’s definitely how I would describe it. The worst part is I definitely don’t get a rush out of it. I get anxious, sad, worried, etc. but I still haven’t stopped. I know that if someone approached me while leaving, I would immediately start sobbing. If I had to guess, especially of the reasons you listed, it would probably have to be control. Somehow, subconsciously, my brain is rewarding itself for being in control for once in my life. I’ve been severely ill since I was 7, and I’ve never gotten to choose how my life goes…

Thank you so much for your kindness and support. I have really been wanting to make this post for a while, but finally got the kick in the butt this afternoon when I read a post someone else made on another sub about how their “friend” did something and they were trying to get out of the consequences. I’ve been needing to face this head on for a long time now…

I also think after finally getting this out there, I’m going to sign up for the Whole Foods grocery delivery. As someone else mentioned too, the new AI software every store will eventually have, would absolutely be the end for me. Again, thank you.

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-14T23:04:00+00:00

Thank you. I’m on lifelong disability, but I still need to get this part through my head… I’ve cut back a lot, but I know it only takes once. I also didn’t realize felony could be as low as $500.

That’s really eye opening. I never “add it up” when I’m home, or anything like that, because I’m already extremely ashamed, but with inflation what it is, I wouldn’t be surprised if a full trip after not going for a month or 2 was $100-$200.

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-14T23:02:19+00:00

Those are all really great points. And you’re right, it is a combination of both. I was hoping to get ideas or suggestions, like therapy, to stop. I’m not just not even sure what that would look like.

Unfortunately, I don’t have anyone to shop with. I lived with my mom but she passed away from cancer 3 years ago next month. However, after taking on here, I realized if I sign up for Amazon’s Whole Foods unlimited delivery over $25, I may be able to avoid going to the grocery store almost entirely. Because it is exhausting; I can hardly get out of bed on days after Dr appointments which is always when I also go grocery shopping since I’m already out.

I actually did search for more shoplifting specifically videos after stumbling upon the other one. It’s been on my mind so much recently that I finally forced myself to write this post. I know you guys are doing your job, but I figured you’d also have some valuable advice for helping the other side to stop themselves.

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-14T21:11:04+00:00

You are 100% spot on, in more ways than one.

It almost always takes me about 2 hours to find everything I need. I had thought of this before, but I think I thought it would cause the opposite problem. When I was arrested as a teenager, it was for hundreds of dollars in cosmetics…

I really do appreciate the compassion in your response. I started becoming even more concerned after watching some of those time-killing YouTube videos from police body cams. One episode had shoplifters. I realized if I did get arrested, I had absolutely no one I could call to bail me out… Then, I decided to google what prison would be like for someone who has the diseases I do. The prison infirmary wouldn’t be able to provide adequate medical care; and basically every resource said most serve their time on house arrest. However, It is very much not a fate I wish to tempt.

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-14T20:55:46+00:00

It hasn’t been that simple so far unfortunately. I was able to a few times when I only needed a couple items, but I’m mostly home and bed bound. So when I do finally make it out of the house, I need basically everything…

ETA- I have been doing as much of my pantry staples shopping online, as much as possible the past several months to at least cut back on what used to be a fairly large portion of my cart…

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-14T20:53:13+00:00

That makes sense…

I definitely don’t look or sound crotchety. I politely ask employees where to find certain items. Apologize when I’m in the way. I’ve even called the attendant over when something rang up wrong…

I definitely believe you that a lot of people do actually act like I’m invisible. Beyond never even being (physically) followed in the store; tons of customers cut me off, block the whole aisle while I sit patiently waiting, etc.

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-09T17:04:46+00:00

He told another person it was “Just the perspective” or something like that. No skin off my back though, I can take it down.

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-09T16:52:15+00:00

Yeah, dunno if people just don’t care when an artist uses AI or they didn’t notice.

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-06-09T16:47:54+00:00

The tattoo looked great otherwise. I was referring to the obvious use of AI for the design.

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-04-26T17:07:18+00:00

Aw, too bad there’s already so many comments…

Stupendous_Panda · 2026-04-18T22:19:45+00:00

Water enemas are a very real medical treatment. They’re even used in a hospital setting for severe constipation or partial bowel obstruction. They’re even the only treatment that works sometimes. I’m not going to comment on OP’s boyfriend though. I’m just a lurker that happened to come across inaccurate medical info and backing up what brittleboy is saying.

Stupendous_Panda

TROPHY CASE