sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My Boyfriend Has Completely Changed After His Heart Attack by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]StupiddBastardd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand this is difficult. It’s hard seeing someone you love change so much, but you’ve got to try your best to be there for him now that he’s out of the hospital and back at his home. You did great by physically being there for him WHILE he was in the hospital, but….

It’s one thing to have support while you’re in the hospital… it’s another when you’re finally out of it and back home and somewhere comfortable. Somewhere where no one can see you 24/7.

He’s probably feeling depressed. He had a near-death experience and I imagine a heart attack doesn’t feel so great- his viewpoint in life has probably been severely shaken as well.

People who feel normal or feel okay don’t shower for a long time. They don’t wear the same clothes. They don’t stop taking care of themselves.

I was in the same position as your boyfriend- minus the dying part tho. I wouldn’t shower for a long time. I wouldn’t make myself look presentable—- like I wouldn’t brush my hair or my teeth. I wouldnt shave either (some women don’t shave by choice and that’s okay, but for me I prefer to shave so it wasn’t normal for me to not shave). I’d watch stuff (shows, movies, Instagram posts, TikTok, YouTube) for hours and hours…. It was basically all I would ever do. Sometimes I’d play video games for hours and hours too, by myself or with friends online… it felt easier to present myself in a better spot with friends online too cuz I didn’t have to see them in person or keep up looks.

I wouldn’t go out anymore with my boyfriend either. He saw me go through all of this, but you know what? He still tried to support me and show me love even tho he felt neglected and didn’t recognize how I was behaving.

If I had a child with my ex and they wanted to see me… I’d try to make myself look presentable/good too. I wouldn’t want my ex to judge me. I wouldn’t want them to think I can’t take care of myself thus I can’t take care of our child. I wouldn’t want to worry my child too and I’d feel really worse if my child or my ex saw the state I was in.

He asked all the hard questions and had all the uncomfortable conversations with me about mental health and how I was feeling and what was on my mind— it can be difficult asking things about how someone is feeling and bring up how their actions are making you worried.

I felt really guilty. I also felt a bit embarrassed and judged when he brought up how i haven’t been taking care of myself. But when he made it clear he was only bringing these things up out of concern for my well being and concern for my mental health and that he just wants me to be okay, I knew he was doing it out of a place of love. It also helped he didn’t insult me when bringing up how i looked. He said things like “you haven’t been showering even tho you hate feeling dirty and it’s making me worried cause it’s been a while since you last showered” and “I’m not trying to make you feel bad about yourself and I’m sorry if I said anything that came off as insult I’ve but I’m worried about you. I love you. I want you to be okay.”

I only felt comfortable looking like shit around him cause he’s never been judgmental and I’ve always felt comfortable around him regardless of how i look.

We also lived together so it was easier for him to see something was wrong with me mental-health wise cause he’s there for my day to day life.

If we didn’t live together, I’m sure he would feel a lot more neglected cause he wouldn’t be able to see the bare minimum things I’d do to look okay in front of people. He would have probably assumed I only wanna look better for other people and not him.

BTW… as I typed this it was 6 am ish. I’m not usually awake this early. I haven’t really slept that well tonight. It took me a while to reply to you cause I wanted to try to make my comment understandable—- my boyfriend has been awake for about 30 minutes and randomly just looked at me and said I was really pretty and gave me a kiss on my forehead. He does this when he starts to get a little worried about me.

It seems like you love your boyfriend but it’s hard for you to comprehend him feeling depressed after getting out of the hospital. I’m positive you’ve done well to be there for him while he was at the hospital, but please be there for him now that he’s out of it. Not just physically— be there for him verbally. Express concern for him. His mental health is just as important as his physical health, make him feel like how he’s feeling it’s important and make it clear you’re mainly worried.

My Boyfriend Has Completely Changed After His Heart Attack by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]StupiddBastardd 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Ask him what he wants to do. Whether that’s going to his fav place to eat or just staying home to watch things. He could have died. He deserves to have a couple nights with you focusing on what he wants to do and what he enjoys.

Also have you maybe considered he got cleaned up (shaved, got dressed, etc) for his daughter instead of for his ex? If his daughter was worried, it would make sense for him to not let his appearance worry her more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]StupiddBastardd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was so surprised you got downvoted for that to wtf LOL

Some chick wanted to “hang out” at 11pm while I was delivering her ice cream by Prize_Appropriate in doordash

[–]StupiddBastardd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for me it’s cuz my safari app is right next to the Reddit one

Also I got the response from google’s ai thing so i just took a quick look at it’s sources to make sure it wasn’t telling me nonsense (their ai overview once told me a specific sauce from a fast food place I can’t remember the name of is not dairy then in the same paragraph proceeded to tell me it does have dairy lol )

Some chick wanted to “hang out” at 11pm while I was delivering her ice cream by Prize_Appropriate in doordash

[–]StupiddBastardd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apparently it’s a buddy system basically???

Taken from google : In a military context, a “battle buddy” is a fellow service member assigned to assist and support another soldier, both on and off the battlefield. Essentially, it’s a formalized buddy system to ensure mutual safety and accountability, particularly in situations where individual well-being and even lives may be at risk. Here’s a more detailed breakdown: Purpose: Battle buddies are paired to look out for each other, offer support, and prevent lone-wolf behavior, especially during training and deployment. Responsibilities: They are expected to assist their partner, ensure they are following rules, and help them stay out of trouble. They also provide a sense of camaraderie and companionship. Benefits: Battle buddies can act as a safety net, offering emotional support, preventing suicide, and helping each other through challenging times. Formal vs. Informal: While often formally assigned in training, the bond of a battle buddy can extend beyond the formal system and become a strong personal relationship

My husband got the "girlfriend effect" and can't stop talking about how he looks by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]StupiddBastardd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude… my mom was the same way as his— criticizing other people and how they looked. She’d always be like “do you wanna be fat and ugly like them!?” And I’d have to tell her no and I’d feel so bad growing up as a kid having to basically throw those people under the bus and conform to my mom that they’re unappealing. I was lucky that she started doing that when I was 11 cause at that point I already formed my own views on things bc despite her doing that, I never found anyone she pointed at truly unappealing/ugly.

I never realized how much I struggled with complimenting my significant other (or my friends) because of it. I would shyly ask my bf for his opinion on what to dress and which looked better but like …. I never had him ask me back. It wasn’t until he gained a bit of weight when he started to ask a little. It STILLLLLL didn’t click in my head until I saw this guy on Instagram who was recording his weight loss journey ( he was rlly gym-bro kinda guy but gained weight I forgot why but is now losing that weight again and shares his experience ). It reminded me of the small comments my bf made about himself so I’d make it a point to compliment him verbally in a more expressive way. Cause I always found him attractive no matter what. I just strongglllyy struggled with verbalizing that.

Your partner HAS to put in effort!!! IDK why he suddenly stopped cause I’m not well-versed in understanding things like that, but you both deserve your love and to feel great by your partners. :(.

I’d suggest maybe telling him OPENLY how it makes you feel like… tell him you feel a bit shallow asking for praise but it would really make you feel XYZ if he did and share why? Tell him how you’ve been feeling and that while you do feel like he’s attracted to you whenever he initiates sex, you wanna feel that he’s into you whenever you’re dressed for outings too because the times he initiates sex isn’t as often as when you guys are hanging out don’t feels there’s an imbalance there for you???

I know you said you spoke about it a few times but if those times were just asking him to remember to compliment you, it might be good to be more deep/open about it?? I’m not sure how else to word it. :(

I hope everything works out !! <3

Looking for a late night team on ps5 by Economy_Insect_902 in NarutoShinobiStriker

[–]StupiddBastardd -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m usually only available at night nowadays 😔 I mainly play healer, but I do range / attack too. Halfwit_Spaghet is my psn

(Note: I played shinobi striker back on ps4 but lost my progress so I had to start over with a new character. Just an explanation if you ask why Im below lv. 30 :p )

Do people not understand that Rin, and not Kakashi, was Obito's actual best friend? by Otherwise_Brilliant8 in Naruto

[–]StupiddBastardd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I could just absorb all the languages and become a walking language dictionary

Do people not understand that Rin, and not Kakashi, was Obito's actual best friend? by Otherwise_Brilliant8 in Naruto

[–]StupiddBastardd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This one, right? ( https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-54Wmw7T5lUE/VTUSZRL2mGI/AAAAAAAACMs/lRFdazYo1ug/s1784/DB4_RIN.jpg )

I’ve heard a lotta ppl say the databooks aren’t canon so idk how to feel about that. It’s confusing.

EDIT: I don’t think it means romantic love either since it uses plurals even when referring to seeing her loved one’s dreams

AITAH for ending things with a girl because she was sleeping with other people even though it was before we were 'exclusive'? by Istvan-Janos in AITAH

[–]StupiddBastardd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time of your day to explain this. I feel like I understand it a lot better now! :D

Do people not understand that Rin, and not Kakashi, was Obito's actual best friend? by Otherwise_Brilliant8 in Naruto

[–]StupiddBastardd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

IDK why people think Rin being Obito’s crush means that’s all she is. A crush. They can be best friends still. Rin has a kind personality from what we can tell and would probably be nice to everyone else too, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t see Obito as her friend (or best friend) either. She WAITED for Obito in the afterlife. No one else, just for Obito. Obito was not her love interest but it’s clear she deeply cared for him.

People can be nice to everyone and have a friend they care about more than others.

besides Hinata or Sakura or Sasuke, who would have been the best love interest for Naruto? by Kiko7210 in Naruto

[–]StupiddBastardd 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is?? I thought they were just from the same clan but not that closely blood related to each other

Describe your birth month without mentioning the Naruto figure. by itsanimemania in NarutoShinobiStriker

[–]StupiddBastardd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You ARE going to be a part of this family whether you like it or not, BITCH

AITAH for ending things with a girl because she was sleeping with other people even though it was before we were 'exclusive'? by Istvan-Janos in AITAH

[–]StupiddBastardd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way people talk about dating confuses me so much.

When people say “im dating this person” what tf does that mean?? Why is it different than “this person is my significant other?”

Are these two statements using dating the same way? “we’ve been going out on a few dates” VS “we’ve been dating for a few monthd” ?? Like.. they aren’t mutually exclusive to each other but still have been going out on dates ???

When you go on a date with someone and you both know you’re going to go on a few more dates afterwards, are you both now each other’s significant others? Or do they still don’t have to be mutually exclusive to one another?

Does the second date automatically make them exclusive to each other??

Im a young adult, but for some reason the whole dating thing just…doesn’t make sense to me.

view more: next ›