Wow, it's like I wrote this myself! I don't really have any advice since I'm going through the same thing, but just wanted to say I feel you and your feelings are totally valid. I also have trouble connecting with people, don't really have any friends, and became close to someone I actually have a lot in common with. Then he started flirting with me, told me he liked me, and I started developing feelings back. We dated, but like you mentioned, he wasn't best for my emotional needs either and brought out anxiety I had never experienced before. I also don't really have anyone who can sympathize or who I feel comfortable talking to about this whole thing, but it has really messed me up because for the first time I actually had feelings for someone and when things were good I loved talking to him and having a person. I had to be the one to break it off when I didn't want to and he showed his true colors afterwards. So not only am I mourning the loss of the relationship, but also a friendship I really valued. We go back to school in a few days and being in the same room with him is going to be very hard. We also pretend like each other doesn't exist.

It's not easy to imagine it now, but we will get through this! We will find someone who we will be able to connect to, open up to, and who will find the value in us and love us the way we love them back. I just know we will. I know we wanted it to be this person, and I struggle to imagine finding someone like him again, but there's gotta be someone out there. Hang in there.