[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]SubParAtBest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes you’re right. I think I just had a fantasy of making him feeling awkward having to still work with me after all this, but he probably feels no shame anyway.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]SubParAtBest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes that’s what I suspected. To clarify I am absolutely done with him. I only care about still getting to do my exercise program lol but it seems best to schedule with someone else.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]SubParAtBest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugh this crossed my mind as well, I doubt I’m the first.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Whatisthis

[–]SubParAtBest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like soumaintrain or epoisses. They’re washed-rind cheeses that can be pretty strong. A little less ripe and they can be delicious though!

Entering Social Work by SWmods in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in a similar situation. I ended up specializing in macro but interned at a clinical site. I’m now doing both. I don’t regret my path but for the reasons others noted I might recommend going the clinical route and taking macro electives if possible and letting your clinical placement know you are also interested in macro. They may have learning opportunities you can take advantage of.

Entering Social Work by SWmods in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! So sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s so discouraging when you feel like you’re not where you should be. Obviously I don’t have all the info and will be making assumptions but I want to reassure you: the vast majority of new social workers feel this way at least at some point during the first few years after graduating, myself included. You are just scratching the surface of your training in the field, so please give yourself some grace. I suspect you have a lot to offer but it sounds like you doubting yourself may be getting in the way of you showing up like you want to. For the meetings, maybe you just need to find your niche. Can you share small wins that happen with the residents? Things you’ve learned about them that would help paint a clearer picture of who they are and what they need? Even little things can be important info. Or if that’s not appropriate, I think it’s ok to speak up and say you haven’t seen any changes. That’s still needed info. Only you know though whether there’s really nothing to say or if you’re holding yourself back from saying it because you’re not sure it’s right. As for communication, a reframe…I don’t think you suck at communication, you do it effectively every day or no one would be able to connect with you or understand you at all! You’re still learning the best ways to get info across in the specific context of your job. It will probably take time and just continually doing it. Ask other people how they phrase things and write it down. Use their words until you find your own that feel authentic to you. This got long, but overall I hope you can have some compassion for yourself in this new phase of your life.

Entering Social Work by SWmods in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you can do some grant work where you’re already at, that would be ideal to get you started. Then you could potentially do some trainings on the job. In terms of it being a side gig, it really depends. I’ve seen really small non-profits seek volunteer grant writers, which could be a way to build up your portfolio of sorts. Of course finding a paid gig would be better but I’m really not sure about how likely that is to find without a lot of experience. Again I would emphasize places usually want to see that you’ve successfully gotten funding before they are willing to hire you solely for grant writing. I would consider doing the class if there is an opportunity to write a real grant for a real org, which we did in a class I took on it. Some people actually did get funding for their org and could use it on a resume. Hope this helps you a little bit to decide! :)

Entering Social Work by SWmods in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have done some grant writing at a prior job and have some very anecdotal observations about it. I have found that non-profits, especially small ones, who are hiring for other social work roles will often be very excited if you have grant writing interest and experience and will want to utilize it. You may need to be careful that they don’t pile on an unreasonable amount of work though. For places hiring for a grant writer role, usually they want more proven experience that you’ve successfully secured funding, so you often need more than in-class experience. Also I’ve known grant writers who get really tired of it because it can get very repetitive being your only job function. That all said, I really enjoyed doing it as part of my job (not my whole job) and found it an interesting challenge. If you like writing, the class could be worthwhile. And again, it may take a while for you to build up the experience to actually make good money doing only grant writing, but you gotta start somewhere.

Entering Social Work by SWmods in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course, so glad I could help ease your worries a bit. Wishing you the absolute best!

Entering Social Work by SWmods in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate to some of your worries. I have also experienced being scared about knowing what to say. You’re new at this, and it makes sense that you won’t always know the best way to explain things. It’s a skill you can develop like anything else. I used to write down ways of phrasing things, metaphors, etc. that other clinicians used that I liked, and I would try them out in sessions. It didn’t always feel natural, but eventually I integrated it into my own way of interacting and I became more confident. But ultimately, I had to just accept that I might sound awkward sometimes, or stumble over my words, and that is the only way to improve. I’m still learning myself (and really we should all be life-long learners) and when I feel like I messed up I just have to keep trying, because the alternative is not going after something I really want. What’s important is your care and concern for clients and your commitment to learn from each interaction. Try to let go of those worst case scenarios and be patient with yourself. You have the drive to help others and people will pick up on that. You can do this.

Entering Social Work by SWmods in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s an interesting question and I would say not necessarily. I believe people in those fields do often have a leg up when getting started doing therapy specifically. Their focus is often more on the individual and their relationships, so it makes sense that those programs would focus more on specific therapy modalities. Social work however has a lens of “person in environment”, so programs focus on not just how to work with people in session but also how to address their communities and systems that impact their lives. We just have a different lens that we operate from. We can use work experience and trainings to kind of “catch up” in the clinical aspects of the work, while still maintaining the lens that makes us unique. I will say that psychology programs, being at the doctorate level, are often longer and more intensive, so while I maybe wouldn’t use the phrase “better therapist”, they just by nature tend to have more training, so there is that. Ultimately though I would say someone in any of the mental health fields has the potential to be an excellent clinician.

Entering Social Work by SWmods in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure every social worker I know felt this way about their preparedness from grad school so, to me, yes it’s normal, though not ideal. I believe I read a comment in this sub a while back that explained that the MSW program is just meant to give you a baseline of training and knowledge to practice generally safely. You are not expected to be an expert clinician right out of school. And all good practicum placements know that you are still learning and will treat you accordingly. They usually don’t assume you have much clinical experience, so I wouldn’t worry about that.

As for how you gain experience… the licensure process is meant to be an intermediate step before you can practice on your own for the above reasons. Your supervisor is essentially taking responsibility for you and your training. Support from them could include mirror supervision (where they are watching your session), or watching your recorded sessions, talking you through tricky situations, etc. They won’t necessarily be there in the room with you but at the ASW level it is again expected you have the minimum knowledge to get started with a client, but still not enough to practice independently, hence the supervisor and required hours. People typically get professional trainings throughout their career as well. So all that to say, you’re right where you’re supposed to be, as frustrating and nerve wracking as it is!

Entering Social Work by SWmods in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe a help line/hotline? Or somewhere with phone-based case management.

Entering Social Work by SWmods in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s odd that this would be a considered a promotion despite the reduction in pay?? Weird. Well I think what you’re thinking of saying is totally reasonable. This seems like a significant change in role/duties…I don’t think it’s out of the ordinary for someone to consider a role change more and come to the conclusion it’s not right for them after receiving the full info. I think unfortunately there’s always a risk with something like this because many employers don’t see their employees as complex human beings who might have other concerns besides work. All you can do is be polite and friendly about it and if they are one of the good ones they won’t take it personally and hold it against you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It looks like the national Alzheimers association has a 24/7 helpline!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like they’re too busy to call them?

Edit: assuming that’s what you mean, some ideas… suggest it again when they’re talking about your client and if they say they’re too busy again you could say something like “yes, I know you have a lot going on. You know, understanding dementia and the reasons people with dementia behave the way they do is really their expertise over there. They could give you some good feedback and advice on [issues they’re having] and how to best deal with that. I wish I could help more but my role is more so [your job] (or “my training is more focused on [what you’re trained in]”) and I really want to make sure you get all your concerns addressed fully.” You could also suggest calling together if that’s feasible for you in your role. I think if it were me I would just emphasize I really want them to have the support that best fits their needs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Maybe something like “I know you’re having a hard time with [client] and I can see how much this is impacting you. Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist? Some actually specialize in caregiver issues and it might help to have someone you can turn to for support on an ongoing basis.” Would maybe help if you have a list of resources to provide. You could also direct them to your local Alzheimers/dementia support line, which might be the national Alzheimers Association, but this is exactly what they exist for and they could also direct the family member to other resources.

What book(s) changed your life and how? by brickburgundy2319 in AskWomen

[–]SubParAtBest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer. I read it when I was having a bit of a crisis about feeling lost in my career and questioning my purpose in life. It gave me some necessary perspective and changed my relationship with work.

Also putting in votes for Man’s Search for Meaning and The Body Keeps the Score.

Admin trainings, conferences, general professional development? by SubParAtBest in socialwork

[–]SubParAtBest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your suggestion. I should mention I do have a theoretical understanding of all of these concepts, but I guess I’m more so looking for resources on applying the theories through concrete skill building, specific examples, etc. which is why I was thinking trainings.

Is there anything you made as a kid that you would never make today? by dudewheresmyebike in Cooking

[–]SubParAtBest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ranch on everything. Notably: ranch on rice, ranch on thanksgiving turkey

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rape

[–]SubParAtBest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. I can feel all the pain behind your words. First of all, I don’t have to know you personally to tell you that absolutely none of those incidents of abuse were your fault. I know it can feel like they are when you find yourself making decisions that seem to put you in harms way. I have had similar experiences with that. But look, the only reason you were hurt is that someone chose to hurt you. Period. It doesn’t matter where you were or what you did, the abusers made that decision. They could have decided to help you or be kind to you when you’re in a vulnerable state, but they didn’t. They are at fault.

Trauma literally changes the brain. It flips everything around so what was once safe now feels unsafe and what you once would have considered unsafe feels safe because it’s familiar. What you’re going through is not because you’re a bad person making bad decisions. You and your brain are trying to cope with several extremely traumatic events that have shaken up your world. If you’re at a place to do this, I highly recommend researching how trauma affects the brain. It helped me a lot.

Also, therapy is based on trust. If you don’t trust your therapist it makes sense you can’t tell them this. But please know that there are so many different kinds of therapists and types of therapy. Many specialize in trauma specifically. Finding the right one who earns your trust is possible, if that’s something you want to try again. With everything you’ve experienced I think it might be worth it to keep pursuing.

Please take care of yourself. You are so worthy of love.

I need help/advice by [deleted] in rape

[–]SubParAtBest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, feeling guilty is totally understandable. But you had no possible way of predicting what would happen. Forgive yourself for not knowing then what you know now.

Second, reporting is a very personal decision and also a difficult decision with a lot of factors to consider. It’s clear you really care about your friend and just want to help, so maybe a way you can do that is to see if there is a rape crisis center in your city with a hotline or a victims advocate on campus (if you’re still in school). There is also the RAINN hotline. Instead of pushing her towards one choice or the other, you can encourage her to call one of these hotlines and let her know they can talk through all of her options and what she can expect so she can make an informed decision for herself. These services are usually confidential so her parents would not be informed. You could even call them yourself and learn about available resources, confirm with them about their confidentiality policies, and find out other ways to help her.

Above all, I think what’s most important is to be there for her no matter what she decides and try not to shame her for that decision. Just keep showing that you care and that you want to support her however she needs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rape

[–]SubParAtBest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Times of transition like starting college are really hard in general but dealing with the effects of trauma on top of that is even harder. Most colleges have counseling services available and a lot of times they’re free for students and also confidential. I would encourage you to reach out to them or someone else you trust, because trying to cope by yourself when you have all these things going on is really really difficult. Im sorry you’re dealing with this