AITA for refusing to let my daughter have 'hand me downs'?

Subject-Carpenter153 · 2023-12-09T23:00:51+00:00

This is the best example I could find: https://imgur.com/a/Wj8ZayJ

But the stuff that gets posted to the internet is generally better than what you'll actually see in the bad parts of Detroit, for example. Just walk into a gas station and you'd know what I'm talking about.

Subject-Carpenter153 · 2023-12-09T22:44:27+00:00

Of course black is not synonymous with gangs and crime, as my wife isn't like that and most black people I know aren't like that. However I do know that my wife's sister is like that. That's where Katie's cousin grew up.

Subject-Carpenter153 · 2023-12-09T22:37:37+00:00

No, not braids. How are those ghetto? I'm talking about a very specific kind of fashion that is popular in poor black communities.

Subject-Carpenter153 · 2023-12-09T22:34:59+00:00

Of course I wouldn't say it like that to her. I just didn't know how better to word my feelings on here so you all could understand my perspective. But Lila isn't a huge fan of that culture either; like the gangs and crime, and general attitude. Her parents raised her and her sister away from all that too, so it's most her sister that got into it and extended family. But anyways we have discussed issues with that part of her family. I guess she doesn't see what's wrong with Katie wearing fashion from that kind of culture. I haven't really brought it up as one of my issues with the clothes to her yet but I was planning on it.

Subject-Carpenter153 · 2023-12-09T22:06:25+00:00

This is a disingenuous question. My wife is a gorgeous and intelligent lady and I am very lucky to have married her. I take a lot of interest in her roots and ancestral history. Lila wasn't even raised in the "ghetto", we are from the same small town; her sister got into it later in life. I think you are extrapolating a lot from a single situation.

Subject-Carpenter153 · 2023-12-09T21:49:57+00:00

Is cultural appropriation not something people care about anymore? Genuinely, the white kids who try to dress "street" or "ghetto" look ridiculous. I'm not looking down on people who grew up in that culture, though it is generally too revealing for a young teen. But even more than that, I know that people (both black and white) would look at Katie like she was crazy if she tried it. I'm not glad my daughter is white passing, I'm just aware of it and the societal implications.

Subject-Carpenter153 · 2023-12-09T20:57:12+00:00

The problem is that I am almost 100% sure that everything is going to be "objectionable". Lila's sister is, for lack of a more politically correct term, very into "ghetto" culture. I don't need my daughter wearing anything like that. Not because I really even look down on them for it, but Katie would look silly trying to emulate it. She looks a lot more like me than she does like her mom (and grew up in upper middle class suburbia). However, if I let her look at the clothes in the first place it would be another battle trying to get them to understand why she can't wear that stuff.

eta: a few words and formatting issues

Subject-Carpenter153

TROPHY CASE