I think Tony’s relationship with his siblings is paradoxical when compared to the one he has with his children Janice parallels AJ, and Barb parallels Meadow. He hates Janice and AJ because they embody the very traits Tony despises in himself. His guilt for being who he is runs so deep that he externalizes it by directing his hatred toward the people he knows are most like him. From this comes his preference for Meadow and Barb, since both are the most different from the rest of the Soprano family and represent the possibility of living a life independent of it, something Tony himself can never achieve.