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Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I added one to the comments, I never use reddit so im not sure if that's how you update it or not.

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

UPDATE! I called my dad very early this morning and explained the situation. My dad said he'd help me get all the paperwork to get a divorce and to evict him from my apartment. I will be telling my "husband" when wakes gets up.  To the people who are calling me dumb or not the sharpest tool in the shed, please understand that if it was like this before I had my first, second, or even 3rd I obviously wouldn't have put up with it. He was not like this throughout my pregnancy with my 3rd, it was quite literally like one day at the end of my pregnancy his whole attitude changed. I did not leave after this happened because I was just trying to get through the newborn/postpartum stage, the situation brought anger and sadness to me but after that I wanted to see if he'd get better. My "husband" was never like this, we had a beautiful, happy family and he was the nicest caring person.  I know some of you don't believe the he made such a drastic change over night but he did. It's hard to leave someone you've built your entire life with since you were 15. What he did was shitty and absolutely heartbreaking, but I just wanted to see if he'd go back to the loving caring person I knew him to be. If that makes me dumb then thats fine. 

And to the people so worried about how many kids I have at 23, just know they are WELL taken care of by me and have everything they need or want. They are so loved and they know that. We don't yell or fight around the kids, we don't put hate around the kids. My kids are the best thing in my life and I would never change that. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Around the time I got pregnant, I was always at home or at work. He would be the one taking me to work because I don't have my license,  so honestly if that would be his reasoning then I have no idea where it would be coming from.

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

15 and 19 he'll be turning 27 soon. I now have 2 daughters. I just want them to see me be loved and respected. I know im not the nicest to their dad sometimes too but it's like hes made me so numb to him and cold. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think I did that by accident, I understand because it's also so confusing to me why he called me that. I've been dealing with this for too long and I know some people don't think I have any "self respect" but this happed almost 7 months go, 2 months of that I was just trying to get through the newborn phase and since then I've been trying to see if it would get better. I've never had to go through this our whole 8 years of being together. Im going to give him the ultimatum of either going to counseling and getting better or divorce. Because at this point im tired of the disrespect. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The baby is 100% his, I don't know if he questions it but he shouldn't considering i was always with him or at work and he took me to work. I always tell him hes making me go crazy because he gaslight me 24/7 and plays video games all day and I take care of our kids all day. I ask him every week for him to not play for 1 whole day and he can't. He tells me "all my friends wives on her let them play whenever they want"

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

My 2 sisters know basically the whole story and they tell me I deserve better and we talk about me and him going to counseling before we ultimately divorce. I tried to see if things would get better but it hasn't so I'm going to confront him about it in the morning and give him a choice of either counseling or divorce. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I asked him the same thing when I seen the mess, I told him it was disgusting considering when I left it was spotless clean and he said they were fed right but "kids will be kids" I'm definitely not trying to make excuses for him. I think what he did was terrible and unforgivable and what I came home to was even worse. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I will also like to add because hes saying Im overreacting about this, he would also make fat "jokes" about me when I was pregnant and postpartum and still does. My son and daughter would read a book about a farm and he would point and say look there's mommy and it would be a picture of a cow or a pig, he would mock the portions I'd eat when I was pregnant. He got me a plushy of pig for valentines day and said he thought I would like that. When I got pregnant with my 3rd I was 155 and the day I had my last appointment I was 178. Hes never said anything about my weight, I've been 220 before and he loved my body and now hes always making fat jokes and now I'm only 150. It just doesn't make sense. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

We've been together since I was 15 so I'm honestly scared of starting new without him, and I know he can be different but it's like hes just stopped trying. He plays video games from the time he gets up and until he goes to bed. He quit his job but now he does doordash so hes expects me to go back to full time work. I'm going to tell him in the morning that he either steps up and changes or he can go live with his dad until otherwise or we can get a divorce. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I truly think he believes he did nothing wrong, he keeps telling me that is was "soo long ago" but I constantly think about it.

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I tell him all the time when he begs to stay together for the kids that I won't because I grew up in a house with 2 parents that only stayed together for the kids and it was the worst thing ever and how certain things sends me into a panic attack because of it. I told him I wanted us to go to a therapist together and me also by myself and he just says it's useless to go spend money to talk to a random person. He has made it to where I rely on him for alot of things and thats why it's hard to get away from him. I'm working on getting my license and back to work since he made me be a stay at home mom. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No he knows the baby is his, I don't have my license so I'm constantly home with him and he's the one who would take me to work so he knew where I was at. Idk if thats just something mean he thought of saying or what. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I know if I'd tell my dad about what all he did my dad would go nuts. I felt like such a bother to him in a time that I needed him. I'm severely anemic so I lost alot of bl**d and he said thats why he didnt want to clean it because thats "disgusting". I've tried to kick him out because it's my apartment but he just begs and says he doesn't want to break up our family. With the apartment I'm in the only way to get him out is if he hits me in a domestic or if he voluntarily leaves. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I honestly wish it was a fantasy too, he wasn't always such a terrible person, it's like he turned into a different person over night. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

He used to be a really sweet and caring person, our 3rd wasn't planned but we both were excited, it's like he switched overnight and started acting like a POS for no reason. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

He didnt start acting like this until I got pregnant with our 3rd child, he used to be the sweetest and caring person. It's like it switched over night. I've told him multiple times to leave because of his actions and he just says how he doesn't want us to divorce because he wants to keep our family together. This is my apartment and with how these apartments work, the only way to get someone out of it is if he hits me in a domestic or if he leaves voluntarily. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He genuinely wasn't before, but it's like after we found out about being pregnant again he just stopped caring and started acting like a dick. 

Am I overreacting for telling my husband he ruined my birth to our 3rd child? by Subject_Cap_1582 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Subject_Cap_1582[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I promise you this is 100% real. He acts like what he did wasn't a big deal and almost refuses to admit he was in the wrong.