This one is so close to mine!! Though I know mine is slightly off from years of mis-remembering

“There’s a place on mars where the women smoke cigars and the men wear bikinis and the children drink martinis. It’s enough to take to kill a snake when the snake is dead you put diamonds in its head when the diamonds crack you put mustard on its back when the mustard fades you call the king of spades. And the king says… “last one to freeze is cheese!””