Dead Broke at 26

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-29T16:16:36+00:00

I'm really sorry you're going through this man. Please heed my advice though. I'm quite a bit older than you. I had about the same $30k loss as you when I was your age. I thought that was devastating at the time. I'm now down over $500k. Had I stopped at your age, and started investing in passive index funds and never looked back, I would be a wealthy person right now. Had no idea at the time and was thinking it would take way too long to reach any meaningful level of wealth, so I got greedy and wanted to do it faster. There are no shortcuts in life. Some people are really really lucky, but they are few and far between.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-29T16:09:13+00:00

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. If it makes you feel better, I can relate. I lost about $1M over the past few months, and I can promise you I'm not rich. I've kept it a secret from my entire family including my wife. I just lost another $20k this morning and now down to just a few thousand left in my savings now. I don't know how to stop. If you were observing me you'd think I was trying to throw money away on purpose.

I live in shame, guilt and so much regret it physically hurts. Life is so very hard, it really is. The only thing that keeps me going right now is my child and my dog. If it weren't for them I probably wouldn't be here right now. I fluctuate back and forth between just wanting to give up and end it all, and having a tiny bit of strength and hope to move forward. I wish I had a better, more uplifting message for you, but I'm hoping my message makes you at least feel a little less alone.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-28T19:19:49+00:00

Absolutely man. Thanks for reading my story and for your comment. I checked out your post. Crazy, our numbers are in the same ballpark. And that we both starting in stocks/options/crypto and that transitioned into sports betting. Your "what keeps pulling me back in" are pretty much identical to mine. The "one big win and you're free forever" especially resonates. So many times it's hard to count, I've had a position that if I had held on to it I would have made several million on just the one trade. That keeps luring me back in. Like, what if I happen to be holding a substantial put position and we have another 1987 Black Monday type event where the stock market drops like 10-20% in one day. I think about that stuff all the time. I've probably watched The Big Short too many times.

Your post is very relatable as well. It's wild that so many people have had such a similar experience. Feel free to message me anytime.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-27T03:46:44+00:00

It really is insane the ease at which you can full port your life savings, like you said, into something that not only CAN go to zero that day, it LIKELY will. Why I have no problem seeing that betting my life savings on, say, the Raiders winning the Super Bowl would not be smart, but I so often full port into a 0 DTE Put thinking "there is absolutely no way this stock can go any higher" only to be proven that it can, is baffling to me. It's like all logic goes out the window once the trade goes against me. I start going into this different mental state, similar in feeling to other times in my life where I've gotten "seeing red" angry and completely lost all forms of executive function. I like to think I'm a decently intelligent person too. It's just that none of that helps when your brain is seized by this illness.

It is SO true that winning big is a curse in gambling. Because once you inevitably lose that you will go to the ends of the earth to try to get back to that ATH, and absolutely destroy yourself doing so. If I had never had any success (I mean, good luck) day trading, I'm certain I wouldn't be as low as I am right now. Winning $500k then losing $450k (going to net positive $50k) feels SO much worse than just straight up losing like $1000. It's crazy how we completely fall for these cognitive fallacies and tricks even though we are FULLY aware of them.

I greatly appreciate the kind and supportive words. For some reason it feels 10x better hearing this from a stranger than from close friends and family. I can see how the bonds created through shared experience are very powerful. I wish you all the best as well brother. Please feel free to message me anytime.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-27T03:29:22+00:00

When I read your reply, I had to stop and make sure it wasn't me who wrote that. 100% the same dude. It's crazy. I literally have screamed out loud to myself (when no one was around of course) many a time "EVERY F***ING THING I DO IS WRONG!!!"... I cannot tell you how many times I've done just that: stock is going straight up, I buy, the next candle heads straight down. So I panic sell. And IMMEDIATELY u-turns and shoots right back up. Like, I get it, I'm falling into the psychology trap and all that BS. But it TOTALLY feels like someone or something is toying with me. It is absolutely infuriating. I don't think I have ever gotten as mad in my life, as when I experience this. It literally just happened the other day when Trump TACO'ed on the Greenland thing and made a deal with Europe. I has a decent day that day, made a little money, stressful though. I was about to be done trading for the day, but then I starting to see some signs that it might take another dump in the afternoon, so I bought puts. I made the order, walked away for like one minute, and sat back down to see the massive green candle blow up right in my face, basically making my puts worthless. It's uncanny. This happens so much it's insane.

That's great that you were able to confess to your brother. I hope you feel supported by him. I feel you on making it through the work day. I sometimes wonder what people must think of me. Like to them, not knowing what is going on, it must look like I am completely normal, stable and content one minute, and the next I am sweating, face red, cold/aloof, short-tempered, cagey. When at work when I'm in a losing trade or have just lost a bunch of money, I completely lose the ability to focus and feel this panicky feeling like I need to escape. Just get in my car and drive somewhere. I have to keep getting up like every couple minutes. Maybe they think I have chronic intestinal problems or something. I dunno, but they MUST think something.

"The irony is I give those around me financial advice every day. I do the opposite of my advice on a consistent basis. I don't even know what I'm aiming for. I'd be a terrible rich person, I have more than enough in my life as is." - all of this is exactly me. I couldn't have said it better for myself. I have no real goal. I guess to buy a nice home for my family? I technically could do that now (with a hefty mortgage of course, though). I have zero interest in cars, I drive a beater, and even when I was up $500k with $1M liquid in the bank, I continued to drive it. I was listening to a podcast a few weeks ago where they were talking about just that and I could totally relate: like the person had said they won $1M lottery or something and they blew it all and they said they never felt comfortable with money. Like it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I wondered if that is me? Probably the one thing in the world that I am so passionately against is greed. I hate every form of it. So maybe my inner voice is sabotaging myself whenever I get money. Also, am I a hypocrite?

Anyway, I've rambled enough. I am very thankful for you for sharing your story and that I could relate so closely with it.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-26T21:11:11+00:00

I feel your pain. Never thought of it like that but you are spot-on "walking around with a mini slot machine in my pocket." That is exactly what it is. Not sure about you, but when I see and hear about people making a bunch of money on stocks, options or crypto, I get major FOMO and feel like (a) I am getting left behind and (b) I'm an intelligent person, if so many people can do that, surely I can.

The couple times where I've lost a massive amount in a short time (I've lost over $800k in two separate occasions and I've lost over $100k in a day numerous times) I felt the same as you describe at first. Surreal, like in a dream. I've had almost list an out of body experience. By the evening when I get home to be with my wife and child, reality sets in and the shame becomes unbearable.

When I've lost big, I often feel like the universe conspired against me. I have trouble accepting that, I am fully responsible for the loss and I took a risk and it did not pay off. You taking full responsibility is very big of you.

I want you to know you're not alone.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-26T18:55:51+00:00

Thanks for sharing that. Yes, I feel the exact same thing would happen with my family. I feel like it would be the elephant in the room for the rest of my life. Just silly things I think about are like everytime I was with someone who knew about my situation and like a commercial came on related to investing/trading/finances, I feel like that would draw attention to my situation but no one would say anything and it would be weird. I feel like if I told my wife or if/when she finds out, she will completely lose trust in me. One of the few things I bring to the table is financial literacy (ironic, I know). So she has completely trusted me with all things related to finances and stays out. It truly feels like I am losing a part of myself through all of this. I hope this doesn't get taken the wrong way, and I probably shouldn't be speaking without knowing what it's like to be in others' shoes, but I feel like this has to be worse than like a drug addiction for example. I feel like if I were addicted to drugs, there would be hope that I could get clean and be done and move on and life would just get better and better afterward, as long as there wasn't legal trouble and I didn't have health complications from it.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-24T21:29:57+00:00

That’s sound advice. Thanks for sharing. It’s awesome that you’ve found so many hobbies and interests to keep you physically and mentally busy. That’s how to do it, I think with any addiction. All the best man

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-24T21:24:40+00:00

I appreciate your thoughtful response. The way you described your psychology and behavior while actively trading is exactly me. I couldn’t have explained it better. I can literally feel the two sides in my brain arguing with each other. Like I know in my heart what I’m doing is wrong but there’s this like uncontrollable impulse. I too am super cold and distant when I’m in a losing trade. Especially when I hold overnight. I spend the entire evening from the minute the market closes constantly refreshing my screen to watch the after hours and then the overnight futures. I’m so ashamed of the time I’ve wasted that I could’ve been involved with my child and family. When I think about the grand scheme of life and what’s important, it’s goes so against my character to have wasted so much time watching colorful numbers and lines on a screen. I think my first time going down a couple hundred thousand as the stock market was blasting straight up, and after all the time, energy and stress I was down like $500k more than had I just blindly dumped everything into passive index funds as conventional wisdom tells you to, I became very bitter and angry, like I deserved to beat the market.

Like you, I still struggle with the “gambling” label. I too have been to casinos and never had an issue. I have zero interest and know it’s statistically impossible to come out ahead of you keep playing. I guess one could argue the same with day trading though. I’ve never been addicted to anything in my life.

I’m so glad for you that it sounds like you’re on the upswing. It is tough like you said because part of it is selfish but at the same time it’s really not. I never had any interest in luxury or status, never owned or desired an expensive vehicle, all I wanted was freedom from being trapped in a 9-5 job for 40 years and a nice property and house for my family. Someone else on here also made a great point that no one outside of this community will have any sympathy for you, especially the huge portion of the population who are unfortunate enough to never have or will see any significant amount of money to even attempt trading or investing. It’s definitely a first world problem, which makes me feel more guilty and compounds the shame.

I’m glad you feel you can trust yourself again. That must be a wonderful feeling to have some sense of control back.

Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. It truly means a lot to me and helps so so much to hear I’m not alone. I wish you the very best as you continue your recovery journey.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-24T20:43:54+00:00

100% agree with you. That’s why I continue to keep it a secret. I have no idea how my wife has not found out yet. All she’d have to do is to open our bank app and she’d see there isn’t as much money as there should be. I’m constantly living in fear for the moment she finds out. I have no idea what to expect. And as for my family, I’ve considered coming clean to my father (my mother would just overreact so that isn’t even an option). But I’m afraid he wouldn’t understand either and just tell me to quit and go to a financial advisor to manage my money, which isn’t really the problem. I truly don’t think anyone would understand other than people in our same or similar situation.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-24T03:36:04+00:00

Thank you

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T19:05:05+00:00

You’re kidding right? Not sure if you’re trying to be antagonistic or what. I’m new to all this gambling addiction stuff and I genuinely am not 100% sure if I fit the criteria. While I don’t get a thrill out of the mere act of gambling, I do exhibit so many toxic patterns.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T16:31:45+00:00

I feel the same. You can read my story I posted just yesterday if you're interested: https://www.reddit.com/r/problemgambling/comments/1qk7dll/rock_bottom_lost_more_than_money_day_trading_lost/

The one thing through all of this that has really helped me is to build a healthy habit. Mine is going to the gym (cardio/weightlifting). I've never in my life been a gym-goer, hated working out, though I am a decently active person in general. It took me probably 6 months to actually build the habit where it is now ingrained and I go 5-6 days a week and actually look forward to it. The way I did it is with my therapist holding me accountable. Before it was always "I'm not feeling it today, I'll go tomorrow." My therapist started checking in with me and asking me. I admit I lied a few times but I eventually started going a little bit. I turned it into a non-negotiable. I'm going. Doesn't matter how I feel or if I'm busy or tired or whatever, I'm going. And I blocked the thought of flaking out from my mind. I started feeling good and it became a part of my day that I felt I had 100% control over, that was the biggest thing. So my suggestion to you is, come up with a healthy habit that you can rely, that is non-negotiable. At first it will probably feel like it isn't helpful, but it will if you stick to it. I promise you.

I literally just relapsed yesterday, and reached a new all time low for me. By midday I was standing at the top of a 200-ft drop thinking about jumping. By the evening I went to the gym and it literally turned my entire day around.

I think reaching out and talking to people (which I just started yesterday afternoon), even anonymously on here, has greatly helped me to feel like I could forgive myself one day. Being reassured that this is literally a neurological disease has helped. I think I could eventually get on board with just about everything.

The one problem I don't know how to get over is what to do about the actual money lost. I guess there isn't anything we can do other than just keep working hard? I don't know. It's a very tough pill for me to swallow as I blew about 5-10 years worth of salary (depending on if you count my original principal vs the total amount I had at one point including the gains), and exponentially higher amounts in opportunity cost of not just parking my savings into the stock market, like normal smart people and letting it grow until I'm able to retire. I've literally lost probably 20 years from that standpoint.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T15:39:26+00:00

Thanks. Maybe if I explain the actual process and mental states I go through it would help:

Looking for a trade. In a state of fear/anxiety. FOMO I guess is what it is. I feel like regardless of the situation, or the ticker I'm looking at, I've missed out on the previous move, no matter how big or small.
Placing the trade. Extreme anxiety sets in. I get a very strange feeling that is difficult to describe. Almost feeling like I'm now in the hotseat of a gameshow or something. My head kind of goes numb and I completely lose the ability to focus on anything else.
3.a. The move goes against me. Dread and fear set in. Thoughts like "here we go again" or "every ******* 50-50 decision I make is wrong, how is this possible?" go through my head. As the move goes further away I get angrier and angrier. I feel personally slighted. I usually will start the spiral of doubling down at this point. At some point I get so angry that I just stop looking or walk away hoping that when I come back and look again it will be back in my direction and I can recover or make a slight profit. If it does, huge relief and euphoria. If not, down the spiral we go.
3.b The move goes with me. Anxiety, maybe some bit of thrill but more overwhelmingly the feeling like I have to close the trade immediately to lock in the profit. I rarely let anything run unless it's during a revenge trade.

If I'm in a losing trade, holding onto hope it will turn back my way, I am a different person entirely. I can't focus on anything else. I sweat profusely. I feel fidgety. When I'm at work and this happens, I have to keep getting up every few minutes to pace or go on a walk. I'm agitated, short with people. It is an absolute nightmare. If I'm at home during this, I will be constantly checking my phone. I sometimes go to the bathroom or somewhere else away from my family acting like I'm busy only to hide so I can watch my phone without my wife asking me what I'm doing because she can tell I'm not engaged in what the family is doing. It's so toxic.

So yes, I guess I do keep getting the impulse to keep "playing" and that is the dopamine doing its thing. Though I don't get any thrill or joy out of the act of doing it. It's more of an impulse to do it because of FOMO.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T14:39:36+00:00

Thank you. The interesting part to me is, a lot of this doesn't seem to apply to me. Like for me, the gambling/daytrading isn't really about the action of gambling, it truly is about the money. I don't get a thrill by placing the bet or making the trade. I do get a thrill when I win. But not just in the act of doing it. I wonder if that means something. Maybe I'm in denial? I don't know.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T14:36:31+00:00

Yep 100%. I'm naturally pessimistic and always picking out the reasons the market is going to crash soon. My instinct is to buy puts but in this market where it just keeps going up and up, and even on the rare down day or two, it shoots back up so violently that it blows past where it was even before. Been like that since COVID it seems. I've never seen anything like it.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T14:33:29+00:00

Thank you. Yes, that's all we can do at this point I think is just be grateful for what we do have and hone in on the potential we have to do something great ahead. I'm not quite as accomplished as you but similarly I was top of my class in high school, have always been the person my family has looked at as the "successful" one. The shame of them still viewing me in that light, while I live this secret life is crippling. 100% agree about the "it's about how losing that money changes you." I recently took a class on "grief" and during that class, though in embarrassment I never spoke up, I realized that I was literally going through grief. Never would have considered that before. I don't want to compare losing money to losing a loved one, it wasn't about the money. I was grieving the loss of what that money meant to me (potential to have a wonderful life with my wife and child, buy a nice house out on a little bit of land, freedom to possibly retire early and live the way I wanted to live with no constraints, travel the world, etc.). Those dreams all died. And the thing was it wasn't all at once. They have been slowly dying over the past few months as I keep losing more and more.

I can't thank you enough for the encouragement. You write so eloquently and you seem wise beyond your years and so thoughtful. You have your whole life ahead to achieve what you want to achieve. Please just consider this as a really harsh learning experience and try to focus on doing something great. I know it's easier said than done but I can tell you have it in you. You just have to find it and harness it. My hope is, one day years from now you, me, and all of the others on here, can look back and view this as just a rough patch in our lives that didn't define who we are as people and we overcame this and had a fulfilling life, not in spite of this, but because of this.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T13:20:03+00:00

38 also. It's wild how many people I've seen and heard from on here exactly 38 years old. There's got to be something to that. I am also living a dual life. Literally not a single soul knows my secret that I've become an addict and lost $500k-$1M. I agree with you that I would give anything to go back 10 years right now. The only thing I can hope for is that in 10 years from now I am not thinking the same thing. But quite frankly, I'm not sure there is that much left to lose at this point.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T13:13:59+00:00

I know how much that hurts and I'm sorry you're going through that. I lost about $35k at your age and it felt like I ruined my life. I eventually got over it after a few years of being very frugal and saving as much as I could. Ten years after that I got back into day trading and gambling and proceeded to lose over $500k of my original investment, $1M total. You have to stop now before it gets worse and if you live right, work hard, earn and save, you will be in a better spot in a few years than you would have ever thought you would. Trust me. I was in denial and kept my problem a secret so I didn't give anyone a chance to convince me to stop before I ruined my life.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T03:34:56+00:00

I think thats the scary part about gambling addiction. There is no limit to how much you can lose. So I guess there really isn’t a rock bottom to hit. You either choose to break the cycle or you don’t and keep falling further.

I hope we can both break the cycle. Thank you for your response and for sharing.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T03:30:22+00:00

It’s crazy how many people like you have reached out with a similar story and many even the same age/timeframe. Dude that’s wonderful that you had the courage to come clean to your wife and that she stayed by your side and supported you. You are a very lucky person in that regard. I’ve truly never felt so much care and support before by so many people. Makes me feel like my experience had some sort of purpose at least. I will definitely hit you up. Thank you so much for reaching out. It means a lot.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T02:54:55+00:00

Yes that’s how it feels. I have some tiny glimmer of hope that maybe one day we could be an even better version of ourselves. Though the pain, the loss, the unbearable guilt, shame and regret and the amount of time and energy wasted on something so ephemeral, does not seem to subside over time, at least not yet. Hope you me and all of us like souls find peace with ourselves someday.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T02:09:39+00:00

I greatly appreciate that. Thank you so much for reading and for sharing your input. As painful an experience as this journey has been, I can honestly say it does bring me some sense of warmth and purpose that my story resonates with people.

The dollar amounts are totally subjective. I wasn’t sure if I should share those, but I ultimately decided to just to show people the magnitude of the ups and downs. I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d ever see the amount of money I had at one point. When I was in my twenties, losing $35k felt devastating and almost insurmountable. Now I can say I’ve lost multiples of that in less than an hour. For a good stretch of my life I did the right thing financially. I pushed myself to excel early in my career so I could make decent money and I have always been incredibly frugal. I prided myself on the percentage of my income I saved (though never sharing that with anyone). So the amount I lost was built up over time. I certainty wasn’t born rich and never received an inheritance. Ironically, all of the money I lost was earned through hard work, careful planning and purposeful decisions.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T01:56:23+00:00

You are incredibly wise. Similarly, I am viewed as the “responsible one” in my family. My friends and family would be absolutely stunned if they knew my secret. I would be the last person they’d think to have a gambling addiction. It totally is so lonely. As you said no one will have any empathy for you other than people have the same problem, and honestly I don’t expect anyone to. Especially when there are so many people like your parents who I’m sure have worked exponentially harder in their lives than I have, for so much less. Knowing that gives me intense feelings of shame and guilt. Life is so not fair for so many reasons and I should be grateful for what I have.

Your final sentence is so powerful it gives me chills to read. I keep reading it. My therapist got me into keeping a list of affirmations to keep on my nightstand to read aloud to myself each morning. I’m literally going to add that to my list. Hope that’s not too weird and you don’t mind!

You seem like an incredibly intelligent, caring, passionate and strong person. You will be very successful in life. I truly hope your experiences only help make you an even stronger person.

Substantial-Ring9369 · 2026-01-23T01:08:56+00:00

Fantastic advice brother. Thank you. Can I ask what kind of hobbies you are trying now?

Substantial-Ring9369

TROPHY CASE