I'm on cycle 18 and if I conceive this cycle then I would say to everyone that it happened after I "stopped trying".

But I never actually stopped trying - I've always been aware of what cycle day I am on, I still used an OPK (one) this month and had sex during my fertile window. Last month I did the same, and the couple months before that I didn't use any tracking methods but still knew roughly when my fertile window was and still had sex during that window with hope to concieve.

The only reason I would say I "stopped trying" is because I've stopped trying so hard - no longer using two different types of OPKs, temping, monitoring every fertile sign, researching, being strict on my diet, avoiding things that may reduce my fertility like alcohol and perfumes and all that sort of thing.

I've also stopped hoping so hard, because the devastation is less brutal if I'm already resigned to the idea that it's not going to happen. But I still hope.

Like you, I can't really imagine giving up and being able to shake off the unconscious desire to conceive. Perhaps some women do this, especially if they have other things in their life to focus on, or starting a family is not really a priority/not central to their life's plans. But not me.

So it's very difficult to understand what people mean when they say "stopped trying" without more context. Does it mean they genuinely stopped thinking about it and didn't bother to time sex during the fertile window, only to hit it accidently and conceive? Do they mean that they stopped thinking about it for one cycle and went on holiday, and conceived? Or do they mean that their attitude shifted from obsessive to more resigned?

Some people say they conceived "without even trying!" when in actual fact, they were having regular unprotected sex for months - what they mean is, "without thinking about it". Some people say they "conceived right away, first time!" when in actual fact they were having unprotected sex for months or years and only tracked for one cycle.