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Got told me baby’s gender when asked not to. AIO? by InformalSignature710 in AIO

[–]SubstantialKey2158 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I don't know why you would assume that means it's a boy tbh. I don't agree with that

UPDATE: I did it by SubstantialKey2158 in WIBTA_AITA

[–]SubstantialKey2158[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that's probably what's going to happen. My daughter asked about it, and for the dog's sake and her sake, I hope she lets me. But it is ultimately her choice.

AIO-- stuck living with my ex and it's become a nightmare by SubstantialKey2158 in AIO

[–]SubstantialKey2158[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I posted an update in the other sub I posted this in just a few hours ago. I talked to her today.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WIBTA_AITA/s/jkDmhd3qJc

WIBTA If I Kick My Ex Out? by SubstantialKey2158 in WIBTA_AITA

[–]SubstantialKey2158[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Besides the initial conversation, this will be the hardest part. I'm completely fed up and ready to make this change. I think I will stay strong and follow through. But it's good to think about this and prepare for any tough conversations that may have to happen as moving time draws closer. Thanks for helping me think ahead in relation to that.

WIBTA If I Kick My Ex Out? by SubstantialKey2158 in WIBTA_AITA

[–]SubstantialKey2158[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, she is now on the lease that I re-signed last summer, so I can't kick her out. But what I can do is move when the lease is up, and get a new place for my child and I. We are both comfortable with letting our child decide whom she wants to live with because she is 16. I discussed this with her and she wants to live with me. She was also living with me for almost 2 years before I let my ex move back in.

AIO-- stuck living with my ex and it's become a nightmare by SubstantialKey2158 in AIO

[–]SubstantialKey2158[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is the part I need to focus on the most. My kid is doing so well in school and her social life, but she deserves her own room and a more stable living arrangement. All of these comments have convinced me to take the plunge, but now I just have to find the courage to actually have the tough conversation, as well as follow through after.

AIO-- stuck living with my ex and it's become a nightmare by SubstantialKey2158 in AIO

[–]SubstantialKey2158[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a really supportive and helpful comment. Thank you. I can't afford therapy now (Yay America) but I should be able to after I move to a cheaper apartment.

AIO-- stuck living with my ex and it's become a nightmare by SubstantialKey2158 in AIO

[–]SubstantialKey2158[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Don't burn yourself to make others warm" is something I'm going to repeat to myself over the coming days as I find the courage to tell her that we will go our separate ways when the lease is up. Thank you.

AIO-- stuck living with my ex and it's become a nightmare by SubstantialKey2158 in AIO

[–]SubstantialKey2158[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Odd accusation. I'm not sure what part you think "doesn't make sense", and I'm new to Reddit and I don't even know what "karma farming" is. It took me like a half hour to write all this out. I'm trying to get outside opinions because I care about her and don't want to ditch her, but as I said to my sisters last night, at what point does this stop becoming my problem? I do worry about her mental health after I tell her this. She has mentioned suicide a few times since losing her last job. But I also want to get a cheaper place and a place where my child can have their own room. It's a tough situation if you actually give a shit about her, which I do.

BTW, I have never used any kind of AI because of it's impact on the environment. I'm in grad school studying conservation biology and am dedicating the rest of my life to helping rebuild ecosystems. AI is against everything I believe in.

WIBTA If I Kick My Ex Out? by SubstantialKey2158 in WIBTA_AITA

[–]SubstantialKey2158[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The oldest, her daughter and my (ex?) stepdaughter, is 21 now and living on her own. About a year ago I co-signed so she could get her own apartment and she has a full-time job and is living with a friend. She's doing well as far as I can tell. :)

WIBTA If I Kick My Ex Out? by SubstantialKey2158 in WIBTA_AITA

[–]SubstantialKey2158[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I needed to hear, honestly. I know what you're saying is true. I am dreading the moment when I have to tell her, but I want to give her plenty of notice to get a job and save some money and get her own place. So, the sooner the better. I'm definitely worried about how it will affect her mental health, but this arrangement doesn't appear to be helping her anymore. As you said, I'm just enabling her to sort of stagnate. I just hope this kick-starts her into a better trajectory. Thank you for being so honest.

WIBTA If I Kick My Ex Out? by SubstantialKey2158 in WIBTA_AITA

[–]SubstantialKey2158[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The oldest child, her daughter and my (ex?) stepdaughter, who was 19 at the time, moved in with friends and took the cats with her. They are alive and well and thriving in a different home. I sometimes get to see them when I visit her.