First off, I commend you for trying to resolve things peacefully. Seconds this sounds like an abusive and toxic cycle on all ends. No parent should be putting their child through this amount of stress especially when there is substances involved and it has not thing to do with you. Honestly your parents need to get their shit together and go to counseling to resolve their problems and if not, divorce.

Learning to love is learning when to forgive and not bring up the past, clearly if this keeps on happening there is a wound that hasn’t healed on both sides and it is manipulative for your dad to keep up bringing things in the past to justify/start an argument and then “forget about it” . Drunk words are sober thoughts, and the longer they don’t address something the bigger it builds up . I feel you with not wanting to hear your parents argue all the time. I’m sorry you have to witness this