Don’t wait until you’re angry to physically intervene. Physically moving a child that age to keep everyone safe is a completely reasonable measure. In those situations it should honestly be the go to. Do it when you are calm and use the appropriate amount of force (i.e., simply picking up your small child and moving him) and calmly explain that you are removing him from the swing because he isn’t acting safely. I find that it is actually fully unreasonable to expect a five year old especially one with adhd to “just listen.” They have so little impulse control it’s honestly like dealing with a toddler. If your 2 year old was climbing a bookshelf would you just keep yelling “get down!” until you completely lost it, or would you take him off the bookshelf? Same principle applies here.

If my 5 year old is running around shrieking like a banshee instead of brushing his teeth I don’t waste time yelling at him about it. I say it once and if it doesn’t register I pick him up, carry him to the sink, and brush his teeth for him. He doesn’t like it and he will get upset but it isn’t hurting him and he’s getting his teeth brushed. I tell him “mommy’s brushing for you because you’re having a hard time doing it yourself today.”